Remember crazy ole Allen West?

Sure ya do.  Sarah Palin’s friend from Florida who served one very loud term in congress.  He once announced that “there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democrat Party that are members of the Communist Party.”  Oh heck, West, that’s not right.  It’s much, much higher than that.  Last time I counted it was 3,453,211.

So, instead of sliding into obscurity after he got beat, he has founded the Allen West Guardian Fund to support himself.  You know, kinda like an electronic tin cup with pencils in it.

Today, he is running a contest to see who should be the GOP Presidential nominee.  The pickin’s are slim.  Uncharacteristically humble, West left his name off of it this time.

They require an email address so make one up or get on his mailing list for more fun!  Please vote for Rick Perry.  Puleeeese.  Oh dear God in heaven above, let Rick Perry be the GOP nominee.

One other thing, whenever I think about it I go to TomDeLay.com just to see what he’s trying to sell today.  Lookie what I got this morning.  Click the little one to get the big one.

I think that means he’s OFFICIALLY toxic now.

I take some pride in that.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Y’all, to be perfectly honest, I’m getting real scared to go to the doctor in Texas.  It appears that none of them took anatomy, physiology, or the birds and the bees.

Texas State Sen. Bob Deuell, who says he is a board certified family physician, announced in the senate debate that “accurate intercourse” was necessary for pregnancy.  According to State Rep. Dawnna Dukes:

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Not to be indelicate (mainly because Momma is reading this), but accurate intercourse is an odd term.  Would it require target practice?  A tattooed bull’s eye perhaps?  Or maybe a teacher standing by to grade it?

I suspect this is not as easy as you would expect which explains, of course, why there are more cows in Texas than people.  Because it’s a whole lotta bull, ya know.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

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You know, the GOP has exceeded the legal limit of days in a row of not insulting an entire group of people.

The chart said, “1 Day Since We Last Insulted a Whole Race or Gender of People.”

Can’t be having that.

So, Phyllis Schlafly (Yes, she appears to still be alive) decided something had to be done to get that number back to zero.

Latinos, she said, in an interview excerpt posted at Right Wing Watch, can never be proper Republicans because they have too many children out of wedlock and because they “don’t understand” concepts like small government and the U.S. Bill of Rights.

Oh, that’s nice.

Okay, Italians, tomorrow is your day.

Note to Phyllis:  Hispanics don’t vote Republicans because you’re a bunch of hateful old people.  Phyllis, get a ruler and go smack whispering people at the library.  Preferably in Greenland.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

Rick Perry is a pig.  A pig with a snake wrapped around it.  He Governor Crap in my book.

Today he attacked Wendy Davis personally.   Yeah, the big tough Texan kneecapped a woman.  Not her ideas.  Not what she does politically.  He attacked her and her child.

Wendy Davis makes no bones out of the fact that she was a divorced single mother who got her act together and graduated with honors from Harvard law school.  She is an inspiration.  She had a child by choice.  It was not forced on her.

So, today, Rick Perry uses that inspiring life story to hit her in the gut.

In fact, even the woman who filibustered the Senate the other day was born into difficult circumstances. She was the daughter of a single woman, she was a teenage mother herself. She managed to eventually graduate from Harvard Law School and serve in the Texas senate. It is just unfortunate that she hasn’t learned from her own example that every life must be given a chance to realize its full potential and that every life matters.

So his argument is that because she had a choice, other women should not have a choice?

He was trying to shame her.

This sniveling weenie slug of a man wants to be President of the United Damn States of America.

You can watch it on You Tube right here.

Thanks to Bubba for the heads up.

I know that Texas has a state bird, a state song, a state flower, a state tree, and state poet, but do we have a state tool?

If not, I have a nomination.

David Dewhurst: Texas State Tool

(Okay, I know I’m being totally goofy this morning.  I’ll try real hard to straighten up and fly right by noon or shortly thereafter.)