Please meet Virginia GOP lieutenant governor nominee E.W. Jackson.  He is Ken Cuccinelli’s running mate.

Jackson believes that sin causes birth defects and that yoga is based in Satanism. He also believes that “while giving to the poor is important, the most powerful giving for wealth-building is upward giving.”  What he apparently does not believe is that spelling is an act of the devil.  His new self-published book:

To me, the best part is that he has written his own ten commandments, enshrining them in chiseled stone, because apparently God’s weren’t good enough.

I have no idea what he’s going to do with that axe but he better not chop down the Washington Monument.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Ted Cruz announced yesterday that the biggest obstacle to immigration reform is Barack Obama.  When he said it little spittle things were coming out of the side of his mouth, his eyes were glazed over, and he was wiggling his fingers wildly in the air.  Tomorrow Cruz will announce that Barack Obama has never fully explained his whereabouts during the Kennedy assassination and that he is a direct descendant of whatever landed in Roswell, New Mexico.

Ted Cruz has, in the words of Sen. Bob Menendez, a chronic case of Obamaphobia.  PoliticusUSA  puts it this way —

Cruz suffers from Obamaphobia, because he is a reflection of the voters that he is courting. He is preaching to the choir. Those who love Ted Cruz are obsessed almost to the point of mental illness with the “evils” of Barack Obama. For this reason, it is Ted Cruz’s egomaniacal political ambitions that are the biggest challenge to immigration reform.

Cruz’s behavior used to be called Obama Derangement Syndrome, but I think Obamaphobia is a better description. People like Cruz have progressed from derangement to a full on phobia of anything that is associated with the President of the United States.

I think Senator Menendez was being polite.  I think Cruz is dog dump demented and has screw loose in his thinker assembly.  Plus, his fiddle is missing two strings.

Thanks to Zyxomma for the heads up.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Travis Considine, Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst’s communications director has be tweeting this morning.

There’s been some additions to the special session other than redistricting.

Yeah, God forbid we have a meeting of the Texas Legislature without putting abortion on the agenda.

Ladies, pack your bags – we’re going to Austin come abortion-talk time.

For people from foreign states who need to catch up – Rosemary Lehmberg is the Travis County DA.  In Travis County (county seat: Austin), the district attorney is charged with investigating and prosecuting public corruption cases all over Texas.  Lehmberg is a Democrat.

She got caught drunk driving.  She admitted her guilt and took the stiffest punishment – she went to jail.

Now Rick Perry wants her to resign.  But not because of her having a drunk driving conviction.  He wants her to resign because he would get to appoint the new district attorney.

And he would appoint one of his Republican good ole boys.  Democrats all over Texas will be found guilty of felony littering.  And Tom DeLay would get his conviction dismissed.

Lehmberg is refusing to step down and Perry can’t force her to do it.

So, he’s doing what Perry does best.  He’s being a bully.

(I’m working on it.  Please feel free to add.)

10.  Your TIVO is recording you.

9.  During dinner at a nice restaurant, your potato distinctly says, “Speak up, please.”

8.  You have more vans parked in front of your house than a 1960s Janis Joplin concert.

7.  When pest control comes to your house, they find real bugs.

6.  Your cat keeps pooping tiny microphones.

5.  The Onstar lady starts inquiring as to WHY you want to go to 764 Elm Street, who lives there and when you plan on coming home.

4. The black car following you  has the license plate IRS LUV

3. The Secretary of State calls your name on national tv for your “relations” with Thai’s Message Parlor.

2. The President uses your toast at Bob’s wedding in the State of the Union address.

1.  Your dropped cell phone calls make an actual crashing sound.