Archive for June, 2013

Lemonade

June 17, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

A five year old little woman set up a lemonade stand at the house across the street from Westboro Baptist Church.  Her daddy is helping her raise money for peace and children’s charities.

Reports say that members of the church were “visibly upset.”

Holy crap, she’s going to grow up to be me.

Visibly upsetting people is my entire goal in life and my greatest joy.

You go girl!

The Bozo Contest

June 17, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas is not held in high esteem in our ability lately to select smart / competent / serious / all of the above / candidates.

And the beat goes on.

The University of Texas and the Texas Tribune did a little polling last week and scared crap out of every sane person in Texas:  Ted Cruz is now leading Texas Republicans back to the future.

The good news is that Rick Perry is in fourth place.  The bad news is that Texas Republicans have found 3 men crazier but more likeable than Rick Perry.

In what has got to hurt Attorney General Greg Abbott a whole lot is that Rick Perry is still beating him 45 – 19 % in the GOP Gubernatorial primary.  Greg has spent more money than landing on Boardwalk with a hotel to deface my Facebook page with his anti-Obama ads.  Apparently, defacing Democrats’ Facebook pages is not as an effective campaign tool as first suspected.

Ted Cruz for President.  Really?  They do know that he doesn’t have an American birth certificate, right?

Dog, My Governor is an Idiot

June 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

A freekin’ total idiot.

Thanks to Alacrity Fitzhughe for the heads up.

Damn Rick Perry

June 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Governor Rick Perry has vetoed the Lily Ledbetter Act for Texas because he is without a doubt the most worthless festering piece of arch conservative woman hating slime on the face of the damn earth.

May God have mercy on his prissy pants soul.

The sumbitch vetoed 24 bills and completely defunded the public corruption unit in Texas.  He’s running for President on the backs of women and children along with the support of crooked politicians.  He’s trying to out-Cruz Ted Cruz.

Oh Rick, Being a Bully Ain’t Cute

June 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The Quorum Report has brought us gleeful news today. Remember how I told you about how Rick Perry was trying to force the beleaguered Travis County DA to resign so he could appoint one of his buddies to the job who would then shut down public integrity investigations of his other buddies?

Well, it appears that I’m not the only one who thinks that is extortion.

The campaign finance watchdog group Texans for Public Justice announced today that it has filed an official complaint with the Travis County District Attorney and County Attorney, asking them to look into whether Gov. Rick Perry broke the law in threatening to veto funding for the Public Integrity Unit unless Travis County DA Rosemary Lehmberg resigns her job.

Texans for Public Justice sent a letter contending that Rick Perry broke the damn law with that little stunt.

They say the Governor engaged in official oppression, coercion of a public servant and abuse of official capacity. In Texas, that’s called Tuesday.

Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky

June 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I want y’all to meet Ralph Hall, a genuine 90 year old congressvarmint from Texas.

You’ve never heard of him because by the time he arrives at work, it’s closing time.  Also, he’ not terribly smart.  He chairs the House Science, Space, and Technology Committee and is just damn amazed at them new fangled microwave ovens.

Well, the other night Ralph wandered into an LGBT event, ordered a drink, and stayed around a while before noticing that he was AT A FREEKIN’ GAY BAR

GOP Rep. Ralph Hall, a DOMA supporter, wandered into Victory Fund Pride reception. He seems to be lost. twitter.com/JustinCSnow/st…

— Justin Snow (@JustinCSnow)