Okay, cowboys and girls, I am in the free state of Austin, Texas, getting myself prepared to be at the state Capitol to tomorrow to watch the Republican Party and Rick Perry try to railroad through a bill that couldn’t pass in the regular session or the first special session.

It’s a bill about women’s health. It’s also a bill to do away with the 4th and 14th Amendments. It is a bill affirming that ole white men should control the bodies of females.

It is also a showcase for Republican insanity. Last week, they arrested a 72 year old grandma in the Senate gallery for no damn reason other than she was having trouble standing up after sitting for hours. The Lt. Governor threatened to arrest the news media for inciting a riot. No, seriously. How can you arrest someone for inciting a riot when there was no riot? He’s going the arrest the media for having pencils and mostly knowing how to use them? For taking pictures of things that happen in the state senate?

Holy crap.

The Attorney General of Texas is investigating a college student for possible criminal charges for leading the singing of The Eyes of Texas in the Capitol rotunda after midnight. The Eyes of Damn Texas. The state song. God forbid had she said the pledge to the state flag.

The problem in Texas is not that we have too many people coming to their Capitol to address their grievances. The problem in Texas is that it doesn’t happen enough.

So, I’m huddling with some folks I really love tonight. I’m gonna drink some sweet tea, eat some fried okra, and swap lies about how Texas used to be. Then tomorrow at noon, I will be going to the south side of the Texas Capitol to tell my state representative Rick Miller and my state senator Glenn Hegar that I think they are kinkier than a cheap garden hose with what they want to do to women’s private parts.

I will try to post here tomorrow. I’ll be doing it on my cell phone so if it looks bad, I’ll refund the price of admission.

I’m going with a bunch of women from my hometown and Bubba. We figured we better bring our own lawyer.

And I want to say something to my friend Bud Malone who would be here if he could, fighting along side of me. I’ll be thinking of ya Bud. Men like you made it possible for women like me to do this.

Y’all, the Tea Party is coming to our rally at the capitol to stop us “Fascist Pro-Choice Mobsters.”

Tea Party

My goodness.

Up until this very minute I thought I was a fourth generation Texan little old lady in tennis shoes.  Fascist Pro-Choice Mobster is a steep hill in one weekend but I will do my best.

The Tea Party explains their plan:

We practice Gandhi-style tactics here folks; IRON-CLAD self-discipline, PEACEFUL, CALM, INSISTENT! Let the other side show their lunacy. Come informed about the bill; read it over the weekend.

Well, almost like Gandhi, you know, except for the fact that they will be armed.

Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.

The rules are mostly here.

But how we know you ain’t from around here is that cussin’ ain’t hardly allowed in the discussin’.  My 85 year old Baptist mother comes here and while she will occasionally put up with damn or hell, if she can’t get to you, she will wash my mouth out with soap for having your cussing on my website. Odds are pretty good, though, that she will get to you.

Occasionally I can sneak in sumbitch because she hasn’t figured that one out yet.

Now I’m headed to Austin on Monday and will be doing the circus trick of writing stuff on a cellphone.  I can approve your comments there, too.  However, and I truly mean this, I will not have time or the inclination to clean up your language before I approve your comment. That’s fair warning.

I’m taking a power strip and a charger to the rally.  Wish me luck!

Wendy Davis Eyes is my personal favorite.

The Bright Light Social Hour composes Wendy Davis (Texas Ellen’s personal favorite.)

If ya hear of any more, let us know.

High Noon, Monday, July 1st, on the south steps of the Texas capitol. Be there or don’t make history.

It will be hot.  Bring water for yourself, and a fan and a chair for me.  Wear orange.

You can sign up right here on Facebook. Or put it in the comments and I will pass it along.

These super cool tee-shirt will be for sale for $25.  The profit goes to Planned Parenthood, Battleground Texas, and – my personal favorite – the Texas Democratic Party.  Hey, we’ve got a new address – You can order one right here!

.

Look familiar?

Let’s do this thing.  I will be getting another update tonight so I will post any new information here.

Yes, I am going.  I will (un)blog from there but you damn well better appreciate it because posting from a cell phone is like nailing jello to the wall.

UPDATE:  Here’s the OFFICIAL Facebook page — https://www.facebook.com/StandWithTXWomen

And the twitter hashtag is #swtw (stand with Texas women)  My twitter handle is @crabbait  Go get a twitter account NOW.  That’s where the revolution will be fought.

UPDATE:  Many of you have asked where to send gas money.  I can personally assure you that money will sent to me will go for that purpose and any other emergency that arises during this special session.  You can use Act Blue to donate to Making Government Work.  Use the Tell Juanita button above to let me know you donated.  I am on the Board of Directors of this PAC so you know it will be carefully handled.  I’m having all kinds of trouble with my email today so let me publicly thank Barbara from California for the generous donation to the Making Government Work PAC.

You can follow Juanita Jean on Facebook by LIKING this page.

If you think I’m goofy here – I’m real goofy on Facebook.

I never did catch on to the Twitter thing, but if I start trying again, I’ll let you know.