Clarence Thomas, better known as Scalia’s pet judge, has announced today why Obama was elected..

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas expected to see an African-American president in his lifetime — as long as the candidate abided by standards for blacks that are prescribed by “elites and the media,” he said in little-noticed remarks last month. And he suggested that Barack Obama fits the mold.

Oh yeah, we all got fooled by the rational, adult, smart, and well adjusted black man. And Clarence Thomas got nominated to the court by Daddy Bush, who had met a black person once.

It’s in the news.

SAN ANTONIO — A Bexar County District Attorney’s Office investigator accidentally shot himself in the foot Friday morning.

The shooting happened around 9:00 a.m. at the San Antonio Police Department Academy in the 12,200 block of SE Loop 410. News 4 San Antonio was told the investigators was cleaning the weapon, when it went off.

He was taken to University Hospital and is expected to be all right.

No, no, no.  He may indeed heal up, but he will never be all right.

Thanks to George for the heads up.

And y’all just gotta see this.

I love science.

No, Donald Trump doesn’t put his hair on a big leaf when he goes to bed. This crazy, hairpiece-looking clump of yellow fluff is actually a rare caterpillar that only looks like Donald Trump’s hair.

The only difference is that this thing has a chance to turn into a butterfly.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

The NRA is having their convention in Houston this weekend.  As they started arriving in town, the temperature dropped 20 degrees due to their cold blood.

No jokin’.

Well, come to find out, they are here for a reason.

Continuing their hot streak of anti-government schizophrenic paranoia, 44% of Republican voters told Fairleigh Dickinson University’s Publicmind pollsters that they believe an “armed revolution” might be necessary against the federal government in order to defend their freedom and liberties.

That’s almost half.  You know that Republican couple who live across the street from you?  At least one of them is willing to shoot you because you voted for President Obama.

And if they have their unemployed brother-in-law living with them, he thinks that Sandy Hook was a liberal set up.

The antigovernment paranoia is so prevalent within America’s conservative movement, the same survey determined that almost a third of Republicans, 32%, believe that the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, which left 21 children and 5 adults dead, is a false flag government operation actively being covered up by a complacent national media.

He’s probably willing to shoot you, too.

Remember all the people who made money off of fear by selling bomb shelters in the 1950’s?  Well, they now sell guns.  Only difference is that bomb shelter never hurt anybody.

Oh no, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott ain’t having none of that gay stuff.

And we especially ain’t havin’ it if it means healthy gay stuff.

Abbott says that it is his opinion that domestic partnership are unconstitutional.  Yep, unconstitutional.  Verdelia says he doesn’t mean that at all, but just wanted to impress everybody that he can read.

What brought all this up is that some local authorities in Texas are offering health care benefits to domestic partnerships.

Currently, Dallas County and the cities of Austin, Dallas, El Paso, Fort Worth, and San Antonio, as well as Pflugerville School District, all offer domestic partnerships.

Some people suspect that it was the Pflugerville School District thing that pushed Abbott over the edge.  I mean, think about it -if Pflugerville moves into the 21st century, can Waxahachie be far behind.  Then you’ve got that whole domino thing going on and pretty soon, gay people all over Texas will have heath insurance.

Needless to say, Abbott is running for Governor of Texas.  I need to tell you something – he’s Rick Perry minus the intelligence and humility.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

It’s hard to imagine a state crazier than Texas, but South Carolina is holding their own.

The South Carolina state House on Wednesday passed a so-called “nullification” bill that is declares President Barack Obama’s health care reform law to be “null and void,” and criminalizes it’s implementation.

It passed the South Carolina state house 65 to 39, at least they suspect so since finding someone in South Carolina who can count to 65 is becoming increasingly difficult.

Nikki Haley, who has recently graduated from the Jan Brewer School of Charm, said, “South Carolina does not want, and cannot afford, the president’s health care plan. Not now, and not ever.”

Wanna bet, Honey?

No, seriously, wanna bet?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.