I don’t think that Ted Cruz gets the whole meme thing.

They are supposed to be ironic or humorous.  And as we know, Republicans have to have a humorectomy prior to joining the party.  When Dennis Miller is the only comic in your party, you’re kinda screwed.

So, Ted tried to invent a meme to mock President Obama’s visit to Texas.

You can say a lot of things about that meme.  Funny ain’t one of them.

And, Ted, how many jobs have you created since you went to DeeCee?

People from foreign states don’t fully recognize the importance of high school football in small Texas towns.

I remember about 20 years ago when the Democratic National Committee sent some Yankee yahoo to my area of Texas to teach us how to win elections.  He planned the first big fundraiser on the same night as the high school homecoming game.  We tried to explain to him that homecoming involved parking lot barbeques, big ole honker corsages, booked hotel rooms, and enough enough noise to be heard a mile against the breeze.  Everybody in town shows up for homecoming.

“Awww…. it’s just a football game,” he argued and proceeded to have the fundraiser that night.  Two people showed up – one drunk and one lost.  I determined then and there to never give another dime to the DNC and I haven’t.

It appears that high school football in Texas has become so big that God has taken an interest and is picking sides.  Personally, I’m kinda disappointed that God waited so long to do this.  I mean, I’m not questioning God, but wouldn’t a better time to pick sides is when Christians were being fed to the lions?

Better late than never, I guess, because God is right here right now.  In Texas.

A judge ruled Wednesday that cheerleaders at a Southeast Texas high school can display banners emblazoned with Bible verses at football games.

State District Judge Steven Thomas determined the Kountze High School cheerleaders’ banners are constitutionally permissible. In the ruling, Thomas determined that no law “prohibits cheerleaders from using religious-themed banners at school sporting events.”

And by religious, the judge means Christian.  And not just any Christian either – just the Super DeLux Fancy Grade A ones.

The place they want to put religious messages is on something called a run-through banner.  At the beginning of the game, the cheerleaders hold up a giant banner and  team runs through it, destroying it viciously, on their way on the field.

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These are the same people who would pitch a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit if someone destroyed a flag, but violently tearing up Bible verses seems to have meaning for them I’d rather not psychologically explore because it would probably freak me out.

But just to be real clear about which God we are talking about, it ain’t one of them lesser gods —

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Now people have asked me why there’s not this craziness over basketball, baseball, or track.  Well, duh.  Those pansy sports do not involve getting to hurt another person.  God likes that hurting people stuff and we know God does because why else would a judge in Texas answer our prayers to invoke his name at football games.

See, this is not complicated.

Thanks to Hilary for the first heads up.

Texas junior senator Ted Cruz, who we refer to as Mr. Debate Club around here, just floored it in neutral again.

Conservative newcomer Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, on Tuesday missed the Judiciary Committee deadline for filing immigration bill amendments when he found himself answering Senate Majority Harry Reid, who called him a “schoolyard bully.”

“The Senator felt that it was important to go down [to the floor] and protect the minority’s rights” regarding the budget, a spokeswoman in Cruz’s office said.

Yep, Debate Club Ted was on the floor saying, “No, I am not a bully like Harry Reid said.  I’m just doing my job,” at the exact time he screwed up his job by not getting his amendments filed on time.  He missed the deadline while he was whining.

Cruz delivered his remarks at about 5 p.m., which happened to be the deadline for filing amendments to the immigration bill. The Judiciary Committee is set to mark up the bill Thursday.

Cruz’s office said they alerted Judiciary Chairman Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., that they would be filing late because of the circumstances. Leahy extended Cruz the courtesy of filing later.

The “circumstances” being that widdle Ted had to take to the floor to whine that Harry Reid was making fun of him, which was far more important that getting his legislation filed on time.

Ted’s widdle peelin’s get hurt when everybody doesn’t recognize his genius.

Don’t you know that Leahy was giggling at Cruz for the damn irony of the thing.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

On the heels of children using their little guns to shoot other children and a few adults this week, the NRA Youth Magazine “Insights”  (Get it?) has a cover showing their determination to help the upstart Guns for Toddlers industry.

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Indoor shooting’s fun, with BB guns.

No, I am not kidding.

Hell, it’s even more fun with a .22.

The article, while warning the kids that they need an adult’s permission and help to set up an indoor range, also makes it pretty clear that guns just aren’t much fun unless that can make something bleed.

Okay, at what age do we start encouraging children to play with real guns in the house?  I dunno these things.  I grew up civilized.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

Poor Mike Huckabee.  Seriously, you gotta feel sorry for a guy who never gets anything right.  Ever.  I mean, you’d think a guy with a direct line to God would get some heads-up every now and then.  My theory is that he’s yakking so much he never hears anything.

And he remains totally convinced that President Obama is evil personified.

On his radio show on Monday, Mike Huckabee predicted that President Obama will not complete his second term due to the administration’s handling of the attack on the U.S. consulate Benghazi. Comparing it to Watergate, Huckabee asserted the Benghazi “cover-up” is “more serious.”

But, Huckabee warns, if Democrats gain control of the House in 2014, Obama will stay in office.  Which is why, of course, you should send some money, lotsa money, to HuckPAC.

Now couple this dire warning with the news today that Huckabee’s radio show may be cancelled.  He explains …

“I’ve got to always weigh how much time I’m putting in it and what the return is. How long it will take to make it what I call hopefully disgustingly profitable. That’s what one always hopes for in a deal like this.”

“Disgustingly profitable.”  I’m kinda proud that he admits that’s his purpose.  Not many Baptist preacher / political hacks will admit that’s their goal.  Just to make loads of money.

Maybe with Limbaugh fading fast, Huckabee thinks he can be the big buck at the lick.  However, at this point, he’s disgustingly profitable without the profitable part.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Just as the NRA, Sarah Palin, Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, Glen Beck and Rick Santorum leave Houston after the NRA convention, three days later this was discovered in a Houston garden.

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A woman in the Briarforest subdivision of Houston was gardening yesterday and found the snail.

The snails, researchers warn, are potentially dangerous to touch, in part because they can carry meningitis. Scientists have warned anyone who comes in contact with them to wash their hands thoroughly.

“They also carry a parasitic disease that can cause a lot of harm to humans and sometimes even death,” Autumn Smith-Herron, director of the Institute for the Study of Invasive Species at Sam Houston State University, told NBC Houston affiliate KPRC.

They say that the snail lays about 100 eggs a month which makes me suspect a Santorium parentage.

Scientists have no idea how they got here, but all I’m saying is that none were found before Sarah Palin came to town.

If you see one, you should walk away as slowly as you can to at least give it a sporting chance to catch you.