We are driving home from Austin but you have to stop what you’re doing andread this right now..

Louie Gohmert said that Eric Holder is doing something weird.

The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus,” said Gohmert, in a malapropism for the ages.

It’s hard to post from my iPhone but I really don’t need to. I honestly can’t think of anything to say.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

As Rush Limbaugh continues to see sponsors jump ship, he’s soothing his ego by pretending that Barack Obama has 99 problems and all of them are Rush Limbaugh.

From yesterday’s show —

“In the spirit of doing whatever I can to move things forward in this country. I would like to make myself available to the president of the United States to sit down and talk with him at a place of his choosing and discuss the problems facing the country, and maybe working together, since I am the opposition, since I am the obstacle, since I am the reason he can’t get things done.”

Don’t go, President Obama!  It’s a trap!  He’s either going to eat you or smoke you.

Thanks to David and Brian for the heads up.

Sheldon Adelson is not only ugly, he’s broke.

A Nevada jury Tuesday returned a $70 million verdict against GOP megadonor Sheldon Adelson’s global casino and resort company, Las Vegas Sands, in a high-profile lawsuit over the company’s expansion into Macau.

Businessman Richard Suen sued Las Vegas Sands, claiming the company failed to pay him as promised for helping it secure a gaming license in the administrative region of China.

How this guy made money in Vegas is anybody’s guess because he sure can’t pick winners.  He gave Newt Gingrich $20 million to defeat Romney and lost.  He gave Romney $50 million to defeat Obama and lost,

Honey, if he bets on red, put your money on black.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Remember the Jesus endorsed candidate, Anna Pierre?

Out of about 5,000 votes, she got 56, which is .08%.  Oddly, the same blood/alcohol level in some states that qualifies you for drunk driving.  Maybe Jesus truly is talking to her today.

Now I’m not saying that this result as compared to Mark Sanford’s win should have any reflection on the lifestyle we expect from our politicians, but …. oh hell, you know that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

Here’s a map showing how you can win the presidency with 11 states.  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

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Now can we get serious about winning Texas?

Thanks to Mark B for the heads up.

As if Aurora, Colorado, needs more practice with innocent victims, a high school student was accidentally shot by a school employee.

It seems the employee was on his way to an extra job, offered the student a ride, and then shot the student in the leg while trying to put the weapon in the glove compartment.

The employee, who is not a teacher, was moving his gun to the glove compartment when it went off and bullet hit the student’s leg.

While the student is expected to survive, the Aurora police called the leg injury “significant.” The school employee has a second job as a security offer and it’s unknown whether he will face charges.

So, Mr. LaPierre, where was the good guy with a gun?

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.