I will bet you ten dollars that Michele Bachmann is singing Lalalalalalalala very loudly so Jesus won’t hear about this.

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann’s former chief of staff, GOP operative Andy Parrish, stated in a signed affidavit Monday that the Minnesota Republican approved payments made to a top aide who was barred by Iowa Senate ethics rules from accepting money for his work on her presidential campaign.

She laundered money through one of her PACs.  She is not a woman who inspires loyalty because her entire staff has turned against her.

If this woman is a Christian, then I’m the Queen of Ohio.

Thanks to Bud for the charming heads up.

If you’ve been around here very long, you’ve heard me talk about the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club.  That’s not their real name.  Their real name is the Spirit of Freedom Republican Women’s Club.

I started calling them the Belles of Heaven about 10 years ago and now even other Republicans call them that.

I think we’re due for a name change.  Click the little one to see the big one.

The Moron Roundup Republican Women’s Club?

Louie Gohmert?  I used to send Fenway Fran to spy for me at these events, but she moved and it is becoming increasingly hard to blend in with this picture of their officers ….

We live in a majority minority county so by way of contrast, here’s the Democratic Women’s group in the same county, taken last month at the Blue Ribbon Day in Austin.

You tell me which group looks more in touch with reality.

Okay, I’m looking for a volunteer to go tape Louie.  Let me know if you can do it.

The Koch Brothers, unsuccessful in trying to buy an election, is now trying to buy the news media.

Those handsome devils are in the newspaper buying bidness now.

Now, Koch Industries, the sprawling private company of which Charles G. Koch serves as chairman and chief executive, is exploring a bid to buy the Tribune Company’s eight regional newspapers, including The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Baltimore Sun, The Orlando Sentinel and The Hartford Courant.

That pretty much leaves us, the Mexia Herald, and New Ulm Daily News and Recipe Journal as the last remaining vestiges of news not owned by crazy rightwingers.  We’re holding out, y’all.  Thelma is managing the books and she says that through our strong investments in velvet Elvis paintings and push-up bras, we can maintain publication for oh, I dunno, a decade or more.

We imagine that once the Koch brothers own everything in print, Glen Beck will become the voice of moderation.  This is bad news for Verdelia’s digestive problems.  In a disgusting display of operant conditioning, she upchucks every time she hears his name.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

Thank you, Arkansas Republicans, for making Louie Gohmert look sane.

The Benton County Republican Party Newsletter (who knew they could read?) says —

“We need to let those who will come in the future to represent us [know] that we are serious. The 2nd amendment means nothing unless those in power believe you would have no problem simply walking up and shooting them if they got too far out of line and stopped responding as representatives.”

No, seriously.

But at least he did say, “I don’t feel the same way about the Democrats as bullet backstops as I do about the Republicans who joined them.”   Phew, that makes a lot of Democrats feel better.

They also say in that same newsletter …

I am very excited to announce confirmation of Governor Nikki R. Haley from South Carolina will be our guest speaker at our Lincoln Day Dinner Event on Monday, May 13, 2013.

Gee, I hope Nikki doesn’t hack them off, but somebody ought to warn hr just the same.

First, in South Texas, Mr. Show Off showed off, shooting himself in the head  …

The incident happened just after two Saturday morning. According to police, the man was with his friends at the Aloha Men’s Club, when the victim got a gun from his friend. As they were leaving, the man pulled the gun out to show it off and that’s when the gun went off.

Then the police chief in Medina, Ohio, shot himself in the thigh.

Chief Berarducci was holstering his Smith & Wesson .40 caliber Shield handgun when the trigger guard got caught and discharged a round into his upper thigh.

Which is exactly why I am not buying one of these.    You can bet that some damfool woman is gonna blow her ta-tas all the way to Oklahoma with this little dohickey.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Meanwhile, in the Texan business community …

Well, come to find out, the West Fertilizer Company lied to the EPA.

The fertilizer plant that exploded Wednesday night in West, Texas, reported to the Environmental Protection Agency and local public safety officials that it presented no risk of fire or explosion, documents show.

West Fertilizer Co. reported having as much as 54,000 pounds of anhydrous ammonia on hand in an emergency planning report required of facilities that use toxic or hazardous chemicals.

But the report, reviewed Wednesday night by The Dallas Morning News, stated “no” under fire or explosive risks. The worst possible scenario, the report said, would be a 10-minute release of ammonia gas that would kill or injure no one.

So the volunteer firefighters at the burning plant had no idea what they were dealing with.  Because it’s easy to lie in Texas.  All ya gotta do is check a box.

And why would they lie?  They were storing 1,350 times the amount of ammonium nitrate that would normally trigger safety oversight by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS).  They didn’t want EPA or the DHS in their business.  That might cost them time and money.

We all know how Rick Perry feels about the EPA, don’t we?  He thinks it’s sole goal is to kill jobs.

“Somebody has to tell the E.P.A. that we don’t need you monkeying around and fiddling around and getting in our business with every kind of regulation you can dream up,” he said. “You’re doing nothing more than killing jobs. It’s a cemetery for jobs at the E.P.A.”

So, Rick Perry handed us this mushroom cloud on a silver platter.

I cannot wait to hear hear him and Ron Paul explain how the market forces will correct this.  The company will declare bankruptcy, its owners will keep their money and the injured people will hold bake sales to pay their medical bills.  That’s what we call “Business Friendly” in Texas.

But now Rick Perry, John Cornyn and Ted Cruz just love the Federal Government.  I tell you what, I would buy Chris Christie an airplane ticket if he would come down to West, Texas, and shake his finger in Ted Cruz’s face.    Cruz voted against aid for New Jersey but now wants aid for Texas.

They can all kiss my big blue butt.