Rick Perry has always been geographically challenged, including the tendency to not know even where he is.

Texas and federal law enforcement agencies are linking the killing of both the ADA and the DA and his wife in Kaufman County to the Aryan Brotherhood.  Perry has speculation about the Aryan Brotherhood.

In an interview with Fox’s Jenna Lee, Perry quickly tied the killing to one of his favorite topics: the federal government’s role in Texas’ porous border.

“We know the drug cartels are very, very active in this country,” the governor said. “It goes back to the whole issue of border security and the failure of the federal government … to expend the dollars necessary to secure the border with Mexico.”

He offered no evidence to suggest McLelland’s slaying had border connections.

I knew it.  I just knew it.  Barack Obama is part of the Aryan Brotherhood and that’s why he’s allowing more Aryan Brothers is cross the border.

Since Perry’s statement left Texans walking around doing little circle motions with their fingers up next to their heads, Perry’s explainer/translator issued a statement.

Asked to clarify the governor’s comments to Fox on Wednesday, Perry spokeswoman Lucy Nashed said her boss did not mean to imply any specific connection between the McLelland investigation and border security, but was instead “speaking globally.”

Good Lord, woman, Rick Perry can’t even speak Austinly so globally is flat out of the question.

So now Texans have to walk around making little circle motions to both sides of their heads, which makes texting, pumping your own gas, and any resemblance of table manners really, really hard.  And that’s Rick Perry’s fault.

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

I do not know how the NRA is going to handle this whole “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun” motto, but after the DA and his wife being shot in his own home where they had guns handy and the Mingo County Sheriff being shot in his car while eating lunch, it might be time to re-examine that philosophy.

A new catch-phrase:  Not only should everyone be armed, they should keep their guns pointed at all times.

Might work.

This actually happened in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

A man and his girlfriend were attending a “mudding.”

.

In South Carolina, that is very similar to a wedding or a baby shower and sometimes they are done in conjunction with each other to make it more festive.   In this particular case, it was done in conjunction with a bonfire.  There was probably a joyful celebration with roasting of weenies and s’mores.  Perhaps some vintage wine.  A nice Riesling maybe.

Anyway, there they were at the mudding/bonfire social event and heard someone say, “Stop playing with the gun.”  It was 2:00 am so I wouldn’t think there would be target practice going on.  The next thing he knows …

The man said he heard someone say, “Stop playing with the gun,” and then felt a burning sensation on his leg where he had been shot. The group dispersed and the man’s girlfriend brought him to the hospital.

I guess I should add here that a shooting is generally the only thing that causes a crowd to disperse from a bonfire, so it’s almost required.

Both the man and woman told deputies there was no argument and they believe the shooting was accidental, the report states.

No charges have been filed and the man signed a waiver of investigation, according to the report.

Accidents happen.   So do angry girlfriends.  Highly respected statistical studies show that both of those things are more apt to happen at a mudding or a wedding in South Carolina.

I just wanted you to know.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Well, I’ll be damned.  You knew it was gonna happen.  The Second Amendment just up and shot the First Amendment with an assault rifle, unprovoked and with what little available forethought there is in North Carolina.

Republican North Carolina state legislators have proposed allowing an official state religion in a measure that would declare the state exempt from the Constitution and court rulings.

The bill, filed Monday by two GOP lawmakers from Rowan County and backed by nine other Republicans, says each state “is sovereign” and courts cannot block a state “from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.”

“I’m Proud To Be An American North Carolinian South Baptist” will now be sung at all Duke University Blue Devils Red Angels basketball games.

Smokey Mountain National Park will become North Carolina Hills of Galilee and Hallelujah Jesus Theme Park.  The historic coastal city of Wilmington will be named The Baptismal Font of Glory and Washing Away of Sins, where genders do not mix because of all those wet tee-shirts after the dunkings.

They will still have bars and dance halls in North Carolina but they will be renamed Holy Water and Rejoicing Centers.

And all them Jesus hatin’ sumbitches who are too chicken to kill someone for stealing a teevee or lookin’ funny at your wife have to move to Virginia.

Them’s the rules, you yankee first amendment sumbitches.

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

Or maybe just the right amount.

He is now saying that gun control leads to having sex with animals on a slippery slope.

Thanks to everybody for the gross heads up.

Guys, I’m up to my neck in alligators right now but I just have to say this —

What the hell kind of world do we live in when we can bring terrorists to this country and give them a safe, fair trial, but a federal prosecutor feels the need to withdraw from a case with the Aryan Brotherhood?

Assistant U.S. Attorney Jay Hileman, who has withdrawn from a large federal racketeering case against alleged members of the Aryan Brotherhood of Texas prison gang, cited “security reasons” in an email he sent Monday to defense attorneys involved in the case, according to one lawyer who received the email.

“He sent the email to every lawyer representing a defendant in the Aryan Brotherhood federal case, and he said — very short email — that he was withdrawing for security reasons,” Houston attorney Katherine Scardino told TPM on Tuesday.

What the hell is going on?

More tomorrow.  I am sure of that.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz for the heads up.