When the United States Senate voted 68 – 31 to allow a gun debate, Senator Ted Cruz shrunk 6 inches.  He was the most disappointed man in America.

This was his chance to make a name for himself with a big media splash as the guy who thinks there’s nothing this country could or should do to keep another Sandy Hook from happening.   And they took it away from him.

He lost the chance for his moral outrage to be the real victim at Sandy Hook.

So now he’s standing around with his gun in his hand and no one to shoot.  That’s kinda sad.

Nah …..

Thanks to Mary for the heads up.

Thelma and Verdelia are standing around the beauty salon with football helmets on waiting for North Korea to launch their missile which Verdelia is convinced is headed directly for wherever she’s at because she’s a rather large target.

And they are especially concerned since Dick Cheney has announced that he’s scared.  We’ve told them that the only reason Cheney is scared is that he can’t figure out a way to make money off a war with North Korea unless he’s Vice President of North Korea and the electrical cord on his bionic heart doesn’t reach that far.  Plus, we’ve heard that job is already taken by Kim Jong Unhung.

Last we heard over at CNN is that North Korea has the weapon in the full upright and locked position.  That’s, indeed, a start.

I think they’re waiting for Dennis Rodman to come flip the switch.  I dunno, but if this whole thing involves Dennis Rodman, a short guy named Kim, and Dick Cheney, it’s got viral internet fail written all over it.

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She makes jokes about killing Meghan McCain.

You know Miss Thelma Lucille over at the trailer park who has made size 4X leopard skin stretch pants famous and owns the largest collection of velvet Elvis paintings in a seven southern state area?  More class than Ann Coulter.

Kim Jung Un?  More class than Ann Coulter.

The evil super villain cafeteria in hell?  More class than Ann Coulter.

Fire ants?  More class than Ann Coulter.

Invasive crabgrass?  More class and usefulness than Ann Coulter.

I suspect that by now you’ve realized that Republicans never use their own money when they can get someone else to pick up the tab.   That’s what makes them Republicans – they are cheap and greedy.

Republican Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell has been telling people that his daughter paid for her own wedding.  That’s not quite true.  Actually I did not say that correctly.  That’s not true at all.

Virginia Gov. Robert F. McDonnell has said his daughter and her husband paid for their own wedding. So a $15,000 check from a major campaign donor to pay for the food at the affair was a gift to the bride and groom and not to him and therefore did not have to be publicly disclosed under the law, the governor says.

Although all evidence is that every damn thing for this wedding – including the dress – was given for free to the lucky couple only because her daddy is the Governor of Damn Virginia, Bob McDonnell didn’t report any of these lovely gifts.
Now, I’m not saying the Guv is a tight with his own money but when he smiles his toes curl.  Word has it that he told his daughter he’d pay for the honeymoon then sent her through a car wash and told her it was Niagara Falls.

And even though evidence proves that both the Guv and his wife provided favors in exchange for the cash and gifts thrown at his daughter for the wedding, the Guv is still saying his daughter paid it herself.  Yeah, with money from people who stand to benefit from favors from the Guv.

And to mix a little misery into the Guv’s tranquility, the Washington Post is all over it, leaving the Gov to stand there with a look on is face that would make a teevee evangelist ashamed.  That’s pretty damn low.

Y’all, I hate these grubby people.  God help me, I do.  Somewhere else in Virginia, a  young woman and her daddy worked extra hours to pay for her wedding while the Guv just pimps his daughter out.  They have no shame, and that right there is a shame for sure.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

Okay, so it’s Montana.  I imagine there’s so many other exciting things to do on long cold Montana nights that sparkin’ rarely enters their mind.

And that’s a good thing because Republicans in Montana are contending that noodlin’ is only for procreation.

Take Montana State Representative and staunch Republican Dave Hagstrom.

During the debate over SB 107, which decriminalizes homosexuality, Representative [Dave] Hagstrom (R-Billings) asked Representative Bennett, who is openly gay and was the key force behind blasting SB 107 out of committee, “why do people have sex?” And then proceeded to explain that he would be voting against SB 107 using the all too famous homophobic logic that sole purpose of sex is to produce offspring.

I find it necessary to let you ponder on Dave Hagstrom for a minute.

I’d be willing to bet my best pair of pink boots that Dave Hagstrom believes that sex is only for procreation because Mrs. Hagstrom told him that.

On behalf of Mrs. Hagstrom and the entire staff of Miss Daisy’s Big Sky Cafe in Billings, Montana, I am pleading with you not to correct Dave’s mistaken belief.  Seriously, don’t do it.  You’ll make a woman somewhere cringe and throw up.

UPDATED:  he also compares homosexual sex to a retractable ball point pen.  Apparently, he did not understand the phallic symbolism, so he doesn’t know why people are snickering.

Joe “Smokey Joe” Barton, a Texas congressvarmint from outside of Dallas says that climate change is a God-thing and he has Biblical proof.

Smokey Joe got that name because he is pretty much owned by the petrochemical industry.  If something ain’t polluting the air, Joe is losing money.

Joe says that you can have “an honest disagreement about the causes of climate change”.  You know, like you can have an honest disagreement about gravity or what causes pregnancy or whether is the earth is flat.  These, of course, are all things based not on knowledge or science; but on opinion.  My opinion is the babies are delivered on a turnip truck and hidden in hospital nurseries until you come get one.  And what’s your opinion?

See, this make science tests so much easier.

So, Smokey Joe says —

“I would point out that if you’re a believer in in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change and that certainly wasn’t because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy.”

And to think that there are people who call themselves Christians who seriously doubt the existence of Noah and think maybe this was an allegorical story.

Joe Barton, Republican Bible Stud

Additionally, remember God’s promise after the flood?  “I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.”

So, unless stupidity is going to be the way God destroys the earth – which from the looks of things might in be very strong contention – Smokey Joe is gonna have a hard time blaming this one on God.

Personally, I think climate change is caused by the carbon put out by Republican brains going up in smoke.

That’s my opinion and it’s ever bit as solid as Joe’s opinion.