Rick Perry is running for President again.  He’s learned to count to three, and has figured out a way to explain how he became a millionaire when the only job he’s ever had has been on the public dole – hey, you can save a lot of money on hair care products if you use coupons.

So, since Texas is so far out there on the right, Rick cannot let Obamacare sneak its way into Texas by crossing the Canadian border or something like that.  So, we ain’t getting no damn Obamacare, ya hear?

Rick would rather kiss off $100 billion in healthcare benefits for the 24% of Texans who are uninsured than be a sissy boy like Chris Christie who can do arithmetic.  Additionally,

One of the most significant developments for Medicaid advocates came the day before, however, when a report by the state’s former deputy comptroller, Billy Hamilton, described expansion as smart, affordable and fair.

The report found a substantial impact on the Texas economy. In fiscal years 2014 to 2017, the injection of $27.5 billion in new federal Medicaid money would increase the state’s economic output by nearly $68 billion, said the report, which was sponsored by two religious-based advocacy groups, Texas Impact and Methodist Healthcare Ministries.

So, now he’s kissing-off $168 billion for the state of Texas.  Sitting nakkid on the back porch burning piles of money is Rick Perry’s plan to get elected President, and if a couple thousand children have to die for it, they ought to man-up and quit being obstinate. Besides, being obstinate is Rick’s job.  In fact, you could flip him upside down and cut diamonds with his head.

Thanks to Stephen for the heads-up.

Fenway Fran has a doozy.

Scamper on over and take a look at Darwin or Karma.

You’ll giggle.

And then there’s this “second amendment remedy” in Florida.

Angered that a Walmart employee refused to honor a “dollar-off” coupon, a Florida woman allegedly retrieved a handgun from her car and waved the weapon at several store employees, police allege.

And then she got chased by the police and tried to draw down on them saying, “You’re not taking my gun!” Guess who won that argument?  She did have a permit to carry, so maybe she didn’t listen in class.

Listen here, couponers are serious people.  I saw that show on teevee and they scare me.

And the Texas topper is State Rep.  Dan Flynn, who thinks that what is wrong with America is that handgun permit classes just take too damn long.

House Bill 47 would cut the ten hour CHL class requirement down to four hours. If you want to renew your CHL, under House Bill 48 you would no longer need a four hour refresher course, you could just renew online.

“As it is right now, you have to take a day off of work to be able to go do it. Or take a whole Saturday off. I think the big deal is more Texans will be able to make the class, go through the program with the background check and be able to carry,” Rep. Flynn said.

Yeah, we got chicken to fry, yards to mow, neighbors to argue with, and have you seen the damn lines at WalMart?  Give give us our deadly weapons and let us get on with refrigerator shootin’.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Louie Gohmert is upset, very upset, that all this sequestration stuff has caused the White House Tours to be stopped.

And whose fault is that?

President Barack Obama, of course. Well, and Arnold Palmer.

So Louie has a solution . He introduced an amendment to a budget bill that says —

None of the funds made available by a division of this Act may be used to transport the President to or from a golf course until public tours of the White House resume.

But, I guess football games, dinner out, and basketball are all okay. At least until tours of Louie Gohmert’s “Games Only White Men Should Play” embroidered pillows are resumed.

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Texas Senior Senator John Cornyn, who has been sissy-whipped by Texas Junior Senator The Amazing Ted and His Bubbling Mouth, has gone all out on them damn illegals.  I mean, if you ain’t working up a good lather of hate, then you ain’t senatoring very well.

Catch this twitter —

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So, the Dallas Morning News is wondering where the heck this breach in our border is happening.  If your thinking mechanism is functioning properly, and you’re actually wanting to stop this security risk, you’d think that as a senator of the United Damn States of America, you’d call somebody at border patrol and report one place where there’s a nightly makings of a good size tent revival coming into the United States.

John Cornyn

The border is 2,000 miles long, so if John could narrow that down a little bit by telling us where 110,000 people are coming across, that would be helpful.

And there’s even speculation that John is just making this up.

I know, shocking.  A Texas Republican trying to rouse up hate and fear based on something that isn’t happening?  Shoc …. No, wait.  I didn’t mean shocking.  I meant habitual.  Slip of the tongue, you know.

So the Dallas Morning News has asked John for the name of his “friend” or at least the location of this nightly deluge.

The senator declined to identify the friend during his weekly call with Texas reporters but said he lives in “South Texas.”

U.S. Customs and Border Protection has previously defined “South Texas” as running from the tip of Texas to the Del Rio area, spanning eight border counties and three patrol sectors.

Well, that narrows it down to 1,241 miles, which certainly makes it a lot easier.  So, I guess we need to ask John to meet us in Brownsville and start walking to El Paso, with John saying “hotter, you’re getting hotter” as we near the border crossing parade, and “colder, you’re getting colder” if we wake up one morning and start walking the wrong direction.

I give him one mile outside of Brownsville to spill the beans.  If, of course, there are any beans.

My bet is that the only beans are in John’s head.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

A friend sent me the ultimate political junkie blog – PREZ16

It’s a blog dedicated to the 2016 Presidential race.  Go look, you know you can’t help yourself.

Neither can I.

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

But apparently, the Bush family is going to try.

I was half-watching / half painting my toenails last night and heard some rightwing fool on teevee say, “People say the Bushes are trying to create a dynasty like the Kennedys.  They are not like the Kennedys at all!”

No shoot, Sherlock.  The Bushes wouldn’t donate a dime to charity even if they got 20 cents change back.

So now comes Jeb, who appears to be the other son who cannot read.

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) told MSNBC’s Morning Joe on Tuesday that he would support a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants “if you can craft that in law where you can have a path to citizenship where there isn’t an incentive for people to come illegally” — a position that puts him at odds with his new book, out today from Simon & Schuster.

In his defense, the book he wrote only came out this morning so he hasn’t had time to read it yet.  I mean, when you have to point your finger at every word, that takes some time.

And there is another excuse.

In promoting the book today, Bush justifies his change of heart by explaining that “we wrote this book last year, not this year” — after a bipartisan consensus has formed in favor a path to earned citizenship —

His values, my friend, are blowing in the wind.  His values are blowing in the wind.

And it is Jeb’s son who came to Texas to run for an office.  He hasn’t decided which one yet, because it appears that the Bush’s are fully qualified to screw up any political office.

Calling Blake Carrington.  Is Blake Carrington in the house?

Thanks to David for the heads up.