Texas Governor Rick Perry is running for President.  Texas Senator Carnival Cruz (adrift, stinky, and mired in poop) is running for President, too.

So, both being from Texas, they have to decide who’s the meanest.

Rick Perry has a good start.

In the past two years, Texas legislators slashed funds for family planning and passed up $30 million a year in federal Medicaid money, largely to squeeze Planned Parenthood out of the state’s women’s health programs. Researchers say nearly 200,000 Texas women have lost or could lose access to contraception, cancer screenings, and basic preventive care, especially in low-income, rural parts of the state.

His first target is poor women.  They vote Democratic so their health is not important.

Women are suffering and dying because of these political cuts, meanwhile Rick Perry used $3 billion in taxpayer passed bonds for cancer research to reward his political cronies.

Look, I know he’s going to hell for this.  I know that.  But, I just want to make sure he doesn’t go to the White House with it beforehand.

So, call your congressman and ask them to pass a law that no Texan can be President for the next 20 years.  Every woman, child, and person with cancer in Texas will be better off.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

He’s at it again.  This time at CPAC.

While speaking on a panel entitled “Too Many American Wars? Should We Right Anywhere and Can We Afford It?” at CPAC, Rep. Louie Gohmert kicked off his remarks by railing against the handling of the Vietnam War, asserting that “Vietnam was winnable but people in Washington decided we would not win it!”

Gohmert went on a declare that if the US had made just one more week’s worth of bombing runs over Vietnam, the Viet Cong would have surrendered unconditionally.

If you’ve got the guts, you can click that link above and go see a You Tube of it.

It should be noted that while Louie did serve in the Army from 1978–1982, three years after Viet Nam.  He was in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps, which means the most dangerous place he saw was a courtroom.

Yeah, just a week.  That was all it would have taken.

Thanks to Warner and Tim for the heads up.

I just heard that Chris Hayes, the second smartest person on teevee is taking over for Ed Schultz.  He will be followed by Rachel Maddow, the first smartest person on teevee.

So now I have Sharpton, Hayes, and Maddow.  Sorry, Lawrence O’Donnell but I have to watch Duck Dynasty and Storage Wars sometimes.

I’m going out to buy me one of those recliner chairs today and start breaking that sucker in.  Oh, who am I kidding?  You know I already have one, right?

I guess we’re lucky that it wasn’t the Virgin Mary on a biscuit over at Bessy Joe’s Diner.

Just hours after Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio made his first appearance as Pope Francis at the Vatican, Florida resident Jodi Guthrie snapped a photo of a stunning cloud shaped like an angel hovering in the sky over Royal Palm Beach.

.

Y’all, seriously, I think it looks like Mothman.  And that scares me.

I am given to understand that we have a new Pope.

From CNN –

Here’s more about Pope Francis, the former Cardinal Bergoglio of Argentina: He is 76, and is considered a straight-shooter who calls things as he sees them, and a follower of the church’s most conservative wing.

He has clashed with the government of President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner over his opposition to gay marriage and free distribution of contraceptives.

Besides being the first non-European pope in the modern era, the first South American pope and the third straight non-Italian pope, he also is the first Pope Francis.

Texas Governor Rick Perry has, as Texas Ellen so punnily puts it, run afowl of the Feds.

The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ) is tasked with safeguarding the state’s natural resources, but this week a federal judge found the Agency responsible for the deaths of 23 rare whooping cranes.

The TCEQ’s management of water flows into the Guadalupe River lead to the deaths by not allowing enough freshwater into the river, raising its levels of salinity, according to U.S. District Judge Janis Graham Jack.

This is what happens when you appoint all your buddies  who are trying desperately to kill everything in Texas with oil or chemicals to Texas Commissions.

When Rick Perry says that Texans should be in charge of Texas, not the Feds, that translates to, “Bubba paid me good money to get on that commission.”

And if you think I’m exaggerating, I’m not.

Here’s the latest crook who sees Rick Perry as an investment.  There’s a big story in Florida about  Florida Republican Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll resigning today because she’s being investigated in a scheme of helping her friends in the internet cafe business, which were merely a front for gambling.

The skeletons in her closet reveal a femur yesterday.

The owner of Allied Veterans was arrested Tuesday in Oklahoma on charges of racketeering. He is accused of making $290 million after supplying illegal gambling software in Florida and claiming the games’ proceeds would benefit a veterans group. Oklahoma authorities say the group actually received only 1% of the money. Chase Egan Burns, 37 years old, and his wife, 38-year-old Kristin Burns, both face extradition to Florida to face the charges.

Chase Burns owns International Internet Technologies in Anadarko, about 60 miles southwest of Oklahoma City.

Hey, this Chase Burns sounds like a real nice guy.

Is somebody keeping a count of how crooks we’ve found over the past couple of years throwing big money at Rick Perry?  Because, Honey, if we had a nickel for each one of them, we could buy a politicians, too.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen and Texas Ellen over at the ranch for the heads up.