This is how you know Texas is at home today.  Welcome to Dallas.

The downstairs neighbor (and I use that term in its geographic, not traditional, meaning) shot the upstairs neighbor because they left dogdump outside his door.  So he shoots the woman and then goes upstairs and shoots the man – who is trying to jump off the balcony to escape.  Then he stands over the man and shoots him a couple more times for good measure.  Then he drives off in his Lexus.

Luckily, the one month old baby upstairs in the apartment was unhurt.

There is no word on whether or not the dog was injured.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Remember when Bobby Jindal said that Republicans should “stop being the stupid party”?

Well, Donald Trump says that’s stupid.  Seriously.

“I thought it was a horrible thing for him to say. Frankly, I thought it was stupid thing for him to say.”

And next thing you know, Trump said this —

The reality star also announced on Monday that he was suing HBO comedian Bill Maher for $5 million dollars over a “bet” on Jay Leno’s show that Trump couldn’t prove that his mother didn’t have sex with an orangutan.”

Oh, sweet juicy irony, come rest upon my tongue.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

So, Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen was strolling through campaign finance reports, which is what he does when he’s not inventing new Blizzard flavors. You’ve always wondered who did that, didn’t ya?  Alfredo.

You wanna hear something scary?  Rick Perry is studying-up to be Dick Cheney.  I would not lie about something this frightening.

Ponder on this: dumb meets mean and you’ve got … well, a dumb mean guy, which we’ve got plenty of in Texas prisons but damn few who wants to be in the White House.

Lookie here.  At the end of last year, a parade of Cheney’s advisers were herded-up by Rick Perry and treated to a free vacation at Rick’s Place.

These are Dick Cheney’s guys – all three of them.  I can almost promise you that Rick Perry wasn’t meeting with a Bush era DOD guy, Bush’s chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Cheney’s National Security Adviser so they could help Rick Perry formulate the upcoming Texas legislative session on public school finance.

So, here ya go – you can expect a Texas Legislative session heavy on foreign policy because Rick now knows a thing or two about it.  Good for us, it’s just a thing or two because he can’t know three things at once.

And speaking of just plain ole dumb —

Rick Perry is running ads in California urging businesses to relocate to Texas.  I wonder if he knows what businesses there are in California — medical marijuana, surfboard shops, adult bookstores, recycling conglomerates, and Scientologists.  So, that means that you’ve got Austin covered but what about the rest of the state?

And you know who lives in California?  Hippies, that’s what.  And libruls.  Good Lord, they have Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown there.

Whoa, wait!  I take it all back.  Come on, California! We need your vote.

The Girl Scouts welcome all girls, regardless of the gender preference.  Women are generally more understanding of these things.

Let’s just tell the damn truth:  if lesbianism were a choice, we’d all be lesbians.  That’s how I know that lesbians are born and not made.  I mean, who the hell wants to live with something that gets jock itch or thinks peeing outside is very cool?

Our Governor, Rick Perry, is so upset that the Boy Scouts are even considering excluding gay kids that he’s stomping his little feet.

He also disagreed that allowing members of all sexual preferences would make the Scouts more tolerant: “I think you get tolerance and diversity every day in Scouting.”

And, yes, we teach tolerance by saying, “Look, tolerate gay men all you want but fergodsake do not sit next to them or look at them.”

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – any man that obsessed with the gays is hiding something.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up.

You know, you’d think the Romney family had been beat up enough lately, but, Darlin’, if you think that you’re thinking real wrong.

Tagg Romney wants to replace John Kerry as the United States Senator from Massachusetts.

And you can understand how it is that he thinks he can win since the last Romney to run in Massachusetts as recently as November of last year got an impressive 37% of the vote.

This is the same Tagg Romney who said of President Obama after the second debate that he wanted “to jump out of [his] seat and … rush down to the debate stage and take a swing at him.”

That’s just what we need in the Senate to make it less contentious:  a Romney with a temper.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

I guess we should have seen this coming.

Texas Republican Senatecreep Ted Cruz told the GOP to stop reading the New York Times.   You know, pretending that most of them can read big words.

And that set me to pondering that the first step of any cult is to cut you off from reality.  I am semi-intelligent.  I can watch Fox News and come away with my values and ideals intact.  The same is not true for the followers of Ted Cruz.  If they are exposed to the New York Times, they will immediately vote for Hillary Clinton.  In medical and psychological terms this is called “stupid.”

But just cutting them off from the New York Times isn’t enough.  The Facebook is also a tool of the devil.

Just looking at pictures of your cat or what you had for dinner is far too tempting a lifestyle for Ted Cruz’s Teapartiers.  They now have their own Facebook.

Okay, there’s an upside.  I only have two Republican friends on Facebook, and now they can go post their crazy crap somewhere else.  It’s not that I fear it will pollute my mind, it’s just that I just hate knowing how many people will believe any damn lie that ted Cruz, the NRA, and GOP tells them.  And that Snopes has a liberal bias.

Thanks to EMoon for the heads up.