Just when you thought that free enterprise was safe in Texas, along comes the Republican controlled Texas House of Representatives claiming that Planned Parenthood sex education is aimed at selling abortions.

You know, like Avon or Tupperware.  In your damn home.  With your kids.  Get scared, dammit!

Currently, Planned Parenthood provides materials for sex education classes in Texas.  Some Texas GOPpers have up and decided that Planned Parenthood, who is now known  by the code word “abortion affiliate”, is plotting to make make themselves rich by causing more pregnancies that will need terminating.

You think I’m making this crap up, don’t you?  Haven’t you learned anything here by now?  You cannot make this stuff up; it would be impossible.

Jodie Laubenberg: All leathered-up

Rep. Jodie Laubenberg of Parker, a co-author of the bill along with Reps. Geanie Morrison and Scott Turner claimed that abortion providers “have a financial interest in the area of sexual education,” adding, “the classroom is not the proper place to market and recruit clients.”

Because if you teach kids how to use a condom, you’re just begging them to get pregnant so you can sell them an abortion because they used a condom and everybody knows that condoms cause … wait a minute!  I just got lost on this highway to conception.

I dunno how to explain this to you, so I won’t even try.  I’ll just say, There ya go.  That’s Texas.

Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.

Remember that part in Game Changers when Sarah Palin went bizarrely obsessed with her political standing in Alaska while running for Veep?  I think maybe she had a crystal ball, which would make that whole event very understandable and not so crazy.

A new poll by Public Policy Polling (PPP) shows that not only are Alaskans done with Palin, but Clinton could win the state by 16 points were she to run in 2016.

Palin is so over.  Except for the occasional Rotary luncheon, she’s just your average undereducated narcissistic bleep on the political fashion scale.

Well, maybe not even that.

And yes, I do drink my milk out of a saucer.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Remember when Ron Paul didn’t believe in the United Nation? You know, yesterday?

Well, faster than hoop snake he changed his mind.

Five years ago, some stoners with delayed maturity who loved, loved, loved Ron Paul bought the URL ronpaul dotcom and set about developing a fan website. All was well because Ron Paul really, really, really needs to be adored.

But Ron Paul, now that he’s unemployed, suddenly up and decides that he wants to own ronpaul dotcom. His supporters, having read Ayn Rand, said, “Sure, it’s for sale. $250 grand.”

They offered to give him ronpaul dotorg for free, but wanted to be paid for their website. You know, like capitalism. Like Ron Paul believes.

Yesterday morning, Ron Paul repaid their support by filing a complaint with the World Intellectual Property Organization, an agency of Paul’s much-reviled United Nations, seeking the expropriation of both RonPaul.com and RonPaul.org from his supporters without any compensation

Each, that whole capitalism is for chumps.

I’ve only been to Chuck E. Cheese one time and I needed a gun there, too.  To shoot myself.

But, 30 year old Tawana Bourne saw things a little differently when somebody’s obviously deranged child pushed Tawana’s two year old off a ride.   I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Chuck E. Cheese, but children playing nicely in a spring meadow does not happen there.  It’s a mosh pit of small people hyped up on bad food and noise headaches.

But, Tawana decided that bullying was bad and “brandished a .380 semiautomatic handgun and chambered a round” during a verbal altercation at the restaurant.

Nothing fights bullyism better than a .380 semiautomatic.

But, there’s a better part.

In a brief interview with the newspaper Tuesday, Bourne described herself as a “very good person” that is “very involved in the community.”

According to the Courant, Bourne had “rediscovered God, conquered a crack cocaine addiction and pursued her dream of working with children,” prior to the incident. She is the mother of two boys, and is the founder of a local non-profit organization that works with parents on crisis prevention and intervention.

Police said that Bourne had a state permit for the handgun, but that both the weapon and permit were seized in her arrest.

So Tawana has a legal handgun permit and works with local parents on crisis prevention.

Oh sweet nectar from the Irony Gods, how I do love thee.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

A bunch of you have sent me this article about the mean Republican sumbitches in my county who are trying to help developers steal land from minorities.  This is land that families have held for generations and this tactic has been used for 100 years to steal their land.

County Judge Bob "Boss Hawg" Hebert

County Commissioners have played eagerly into this crapola because developers fund their political campaigns, pick up trucks, and fishing trips.  Developers give county commissioners $100,000 and then can steal property for unpaid taxes for a dime on the dollar.

Most of these folks are property poor so they can’t afford a lawyer.  Bubba doesn’t know squat about this kind of law, so I have taken the liberty to notify five other lawyers who do and would be willing to up their chances of getting into the pearly gates by helping people keep their land.

I have also notified my own Democratic county commissioner, any newspaper that gives a flip, and I told God about it last night.

There is a very special place in hell for people who let this happen.   I won’t be one of them.

Thanks for all the heads up.  I do appreciate it.

Bless this child’s heart.  Kim Kardashian doesn’t have two IQ points to rub together but God forbid anybody should mess with her rightful inheritance.   This poor child needs every penny of it.

First she signed the Sandy Hook Promise to work for gun control, and then a few days later, she posted this picture of her diamond studded gun.

Nothing says, “Peace, Y’all” like a diamond encrusted gun.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.