And y’all thought Louie Gohmert wouldn’t be stable even if you mounted him on a tripod? We can top Ole Louie in Texas now.

Oh Darlin’, you ain’t met new Texas Congressman Steve Stockman.

In a sudden burst of Damned if I Know, Stockman has decided to one-up Joe Wilson and live tweet the Presidents lies during the State of the Union speech.   Hashtag:  #YouLie  Please feel free to use that tag to list all the crazy crap Stockman has done in his life.  Wikipedia is a good place to start.

Stockman doing this has shocked even me.  Stockman knows how to spell?  Stockman is even vaguely aware of his surroundings?  Stockman knows where he is?

But, of yes, there’s more.  There’s always more with Stockman.

Ted Nugent who promised, promised dammit, that he would be either dead or in jail by last November if President Obama was re-elected, but who apparently is neither, dammit, will be a guest at the State of the Union.  Yes, a guest of — Steve Stockman.  I would not kid you.

It is not known if Nugent will shower, wear something with sleeves, or be sober at this historic event.  And we ask that cameras not shoot Nugent below the waist because he might be doing something with his hands under his pants that I cannot even bring myself to think about.

Musician and gun advocate Ted Nugent will be Congressman Steve Stockman’s guest at Tuesday evening’s State of the Union Address by President Barack Obama. Nugent will be available to speak to the media before and after the Address.

“I am excited to have a patriot like Ted Nugent joining me in the House Chamber to hear from President Obama,” said Stockman. “After the Address I’m sure Ted will have plenty to say.”

Oh please, Ted, have plenty to say.  Oh please.  Pretty, pretty please.

Somewhere in the dark basement of Congress, the Republican leadership is banging their heads against the wall.  I take great pleasure in that.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody who gave me the heads up.  You made my day.

His name is Dr. Akshay “A.K.” Desai and he runs Universal Health Care, Inc., and is the Finance Chairman of the Florida GOP.

Well, he used to be.  He resigned as finance chair and it appears that he may spend some time in the pokey for mismanagement of Universal Health Care, which would constitute Medicare Fraud.

You see, Dr. Desai made a misdiagnosis.  He thought Republicans were going to win and his little shenanigans would be swept under the carpet.

Now, when your business is bleeding money and you are cooking the books, it just doesn’t look right when you spend money on politicians instead of patients.  Don’t ask me to explain that, just accept my word for it.

So, when you limit-out on Republican Presidential candidates, even Rick Perry, and throw all you’ve got at the RNC and you lose, you better have stashed some money back for lawyers.

And the next time you get sick, you should have to get taken care of at your compnay.

Universal has been battling customer defections and heightened regulatory oversight over concerns of poor quality and insufficient funding throughout the past year.

Regulators in Ohio and Georgia cited concerns over the company’s relatively low reserves in contrast to its rising losses. Last month, Universal stopped marketing Medicare services in all areas.

You know when Republicans says we should run government like a business?  This is the kind of business they mean.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen and his subscription to the Financial Times.

Gosh, y’all, I had no idea the Vatican’s reaction to my pitchin’ a walled eyed snot nosed hissy fit yesterday and y’all making super snarky comments on it would have such repercussions at the Vatican.  But, all I can say is Way to Freekin’ Go!

Waving Bub Bye

The last Pope to resign was in 1412, so it’s not like this is something that happens every century.  And the fact that this was such a well kept secret and there were no hints that the guy was getting more dotty.  You know, like, “Pope looses golden hat” or “Pope forgets it’s Sunday and sleeps in.”  And that it’s right before Easter, which would make it the most insulting to Jesus time not to have a Pope.

I’m not saying that a pile of bad stuff is fixing to make its way out of the Pope’s closet.  I’m not saying that.  Oh hell, I’m saying that.

George Dubya gave him immunity from prosecution in the United States so maybe he’ll retire here and have a Pope garage sale because I don’t think they have a Pope retirement plan. Or maybe Pat Robertson would give him “Pope Time!” on his teevee station.

Unless they name one of the Nuns on the Bus as the new Pope, I’m still gonna pick on whoever they name.  And that’s a promise.

Best line came from Kary W:  I did Nazi that coming.

And from Deb —

At least until they find her boyfriend, I would bet.

A Bend woman was cited on assault and reckless endangering charges Thursday after a loaded .22-caliber Derringer pistol fell out of her pocket during a visit to McDonald’s and it fired, striking her husband in the abdomen police said. He remained hospitalized Friday, but had improved to fair condition.

Carney said a preliminary investigation revealed that Richard Lee Cooper, 47, and wife Barbara Annette Masters, 48, were sitting in the restaurant’s dining area when Masters leaned forward and the gun fell out of her pocket and hit the floor.

The impact with the floor caused the gun to go off, with the bullet striking Cooper in the abdomen, he said.

The only thing scarier than “women shoots husband in McDonalds” is “woman accidentally shoots husband in McDonalds.”  If she wasn’t aiming …. no telling who’d be in the hospital today.

Yeah, guns in school.  What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Mark Sanford of the Hiking-Appalachian-Trails Sanfords, is making a new political run – this time for his old congressional seat.

You know he’s sorry about what he did because he says he is.  You know Barack Obama is not a Christian because he says he is.  The difference is clear as black and white.

Sanford is taking his lousy butt out to meet the voters, and perhaps to love again.

“I’m not in any way unaware of how I’ve let you down. I’m not in any way unaware of my well-chronicled failings as a human being,” Sanford told a Hilton Head Island Republican group last week, in the first public speech of his campaign. “But I am equally aware that God forgives people who are imperfect.”

While through name ID, Sanford is heavily favored to win the primary in this heavily Republican District,  there’s gonna be some fun involved.

The winner of the Republican primary is likely to face off against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert-Busch, the sister of comedian Stephen Colbert, in the May special election. The Republican will be heavily favored in the conservative-leaning district.

Every now and then something wonderful happens in politics.  Honey, I gotta walk sideways to keep from flying about that race.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

It involves sex, so here come the priests.

The nation’s Roman Catholic bishops are in a difficult position as the debate over immigration reform gets underway: The immigrant-built American church, known for advocating a broad welcome for migrants and refugees, could end up opposing reform because it would recognize same-sex partners.

In a letter that remains secret because “of the sensitivity of the issue,” the Catholic Bishops let President Obama know that  “recognition of gay couples in the president’s reform proposals ‘jeopardizes passage of the bill’.”

Oh cool.  Now they wear dresses and have secrets.  They’ve become the Klan.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think they should be talking about gay

Stone, meet glass house.  One more time:  The Catholic Church should be the last damn place on earth lecturing other people about sexual preferences.  The last damn place.

Will there also be a restriction on people who had hoochy for fun and not procreation?  Fornicators?  Adulterers?  Cross dressers?

Let me tell you something NOT a secret and horribly insensitive  – you’re fixing to upset me.  I am tired of my country acting on your religious dictates.  If you do not want to marry a gay person, then don’t. Be a self satisfied judgmental hateful meanie.  That’s fine, but don’t make me be one.

Well, that got my blood a’pumpin’ this morning.

Thanks to Bernard for the heads up.