Archive for February, 2013

What the Fool Tarnation Are They Thinking?

February 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republicans blocked a vote on Chuck Hagel just because they can? They filibustered a member of the President’s cabinet?

The Tea Party is running this damn country.

I had to pull my car over to the side of the road to write this. You know that sound you can make when you put your tongue between the closed lips and blow real hard? If I could spell that, that is what I’d write right now.

What Would Ayn Rand Say, Joe?

February 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The Tea Party’s very own Joe Walsh, who got stomped by Tammy Duckworth, is going back to being a Deadbeat Dad.

Instead of getting her child support payments in February, the ex-Mrs Walsh got papers from Joe’s lawyer instead.

Walsh’s court filing states: “Joe’s employment has been terminated through no voluntary act of his own and he is without sufficient income or assets with which to continue to pay his support obligation. Due to a substantial change in circumstances, Joe requests that his child support obligation be terminated based on his present income and circumstances.”

No, it was pretty much his fault that he got fired.

Joe also contends that he has no salary and no savings.  A congressman makes $174,000 a year.  Within a month of leaving office, he’s broke, doesn’t have a job, and probably doesn’t have health insurance.  Welcome to the real world, Joe, we’ve been waiting for you.

Thanks to Sybil for the heads up.

And You Thought Marco Rubio Was Silly in English?

February 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Take a look at his Spanish speech translated on CBS News.  Start the speech and then click the little CC-English option on the upper left.  Damn that man – he saved the best part for Spanish.

Here’s a sample of the written translation:

Transcript for Marco Rubio’s State of the Union Response (Spanish Language Version)

When an auction said Michael — Mr. into in the field were severely dollar and authorities and its analysis thousands. Carefully to that a President Obama political — — assume among not.

If panel to general Norton on this week — sort of dollar and on the home and number — equally ethically counts. — — that this government umbrella title beating him to — I’m at the body in the homeless in August to pay thugs and be — and asked what’s the Hamas you’ve got the April not because I was — — of them. I’ll get paneling and soaps.

Seem fun in — sort of students. And the postal — Caledonia owns him but — and wonder what about the — democratic them psyche in the Palestinians. Have Christiane.

Olympic athlete dormant podium I think that our top bottom Scioscia system — on the — my — this year but some aren’t getting enough — You don’t know Hamas known couple that went — — — but it was a thousand isn’t exception on board — today — — pick us and Oman and god alone us about us — this Llosa. He get dole said Romano didn’t that it shall dollop of deals are you out of town labels on so stunning to speak how — the — — On the bottom of my adios to felony insists. The outer space.

We invited me out of marquis woke up one penny out I don’t know what absolutely that’s — percent of the sequels hopelessly — — — A you know what I concept but that a classmate — me by — — — under the bar man in in my — a headache MI data. — and editing it — they use better than they out of the home around the mosque and what can. Now hold on the — CME gotten swings.

— — — — — I’m gonna hit — on the fretting about a — — guys dollar meetings that I’m being economic Dodi Christiane. I thank and he — — And assist Palestinians. If — — — the senate but Democrats have made the Al mosque — people thought of on this thing any fuel and — not growing illegal yet.

See, what did I tell you?   It makes far more sense in Spanish.

And you know that “middle class” and “social security dependent” neighborhood where Marco lives?  Not so much.  He’s selling his house — for $675,000.  Yep – middle class.

Thanks to Ralph and Carl for the heads up.

Just in Case You’re in the Neighborhood

February 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ted Nugent’s intellectual equal, Texas Congressvarmint Steve Stockman, is having a town hall meeting.  If you’re in the area, you might want to see a platter of stoopid served up cold.  It can be entertaining.

Congressman Steve Stockman will be in Liberty County for a Town Hall Meeting on Tuesday, February 19, 2013, at 7:00 P.M., at the Liberty Civic Center in the City of Liberty complex (across from the Liberty County Courthouse.)  The general public is invited.  Parking for the Liberty Civic Center is accessible from Milam Street between Sam Houston and Trinity Avenues.

I am told that television cameras will be there to see if they can catch some of Stockman’s plans for world domination and the pig’s feet eating championship.

Liberty is not all that far from here.  Folks from Houston can go and get home in time for The Daily Show.

It would be nice to have some foreign correspondents there.   Let me know if you’re going and need a Beauty Salon press pass.  In all fair warning, they are made out of sticky notes and perm papers and not officially recognized by any authority in Texas, but who knows?  This is east Texas, where they still accept confederate money.

Thanks to Norri for the heads up.

Valentines Eve Toon

February 13, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Oh, Thank You God That It Wasn’t Texas This Time

February 13, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Some of my less-than-Baptist friends do not believe me when I talk about speaking in tongues, snake handling, and foot washing being part of any good tent revival in Texas.

I do not know what kind of special relationship that Pentecostal ministers have with snakes, but it’s gotta be something phallic.  But, at least time time it’s Tennessee and Kentucky.

An eastern Kentucky pastor wants Tennessee wildlife officials to return five venomous snakes confiscated in Knoxville.

Gregory Coots, who’s known as Jamie Coots, is pastor of at the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name Church in Middlesboro. Coots handles the snakes as part of worship services.

His name is Coots and he worships something that likes snakes.  You know you want to know more.

He says he bought them in Aladamnbama for $800. and was toting them to Kentucky where he has a snake permit but the police stopped him in Tennessee for having his windows tinted too dark and lo and behold – snakes.  In boxes.

Coots says he can replace the snakes but he wants the boxes the snakes were in back. He says they have sentimental value.

I don’t even want to know.  And if you find out why his snake boxes have sentimental value, do no tell me.  I do not want to know and I have no intention of asking Jesus when I get to the sweet by and by either.

Thanks to Hippie in the Hollar for the heads up.