UPDATED: Never mind.   Screw it.  There ain’t no damn balls.

Y’all, there seems to be something afoot among Democrats in Washington.  They’re playing El Degüello over the loudspeakers.

Get this – Harry Reid is gonna do what needs doing on filibuster reform.

Reid reiterated his ultimatum to McConnell to make a deal or watch Democrats go it alone.

“I am not going to negotiate things here,” Reid said. “Senator McConnell and I are talking. The point is this: we’re going to change how we do business around here. We can do it the easy way or the hard way, but it’s going to change.”

Y’all, the visual on this is Mr. Rodgers holding his foot atop a turtle in a very threatening manner.

This is what a mandate looks like.

Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Tell your daughters that this is how it’s done.  She made GOP Senator Ron Johnson look like a petty fool.  And then she showed the power of words —

“My faith in our country and our future is stronger than ever. Every time that blue and white airplane carrying the words ‘United States of America’ touches down in some far-off capital, I feel again the honor it is to represent the world’s indispensable nation. And I am confident that, with your help, we will continue to keep the United States safe, strong, and exceptional.”

And I don’t want to hear anyone else say that she looks tired.  She looks amazing.  She is amazing.  And 65% of Americans hold a favorable view of her.

Sic ‘um, Hillary.  If you do nothing else today, go see her and then stand and applaud.

I introduced you to newly elected (for the second time) Texas Congressweirdo Steve Stockman.  He’s odd.  And not in that good way that’s amusing.

Come to find out, Stockman, who leaves a trail of question marks behind himself wherever he goes, may not qualify for a gun permit to carry.  He probably couldn’t pass a background check.  He’s been to jail, been a vagrant, said some crazy crap, and even lived on the streets with a guy who “saw things in trees” that weren’t there.  But, hell, Stockman thinks even the tree guy should be able to tote a weapon.

He’s threatening to impeach President Barack Obama for his executive orders.

Is this a great country or what?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Rick Perry’s first suggestion to stop gun violence at schools was to pray.  Obviously, either you didn’t pray or that didn’t work.  I know that because there was a gunfight at a college near Houston yesterday.  So, it’s either your fault or Rick Perry is an idiot.  I’m going with the idiot.

Two students, both carrying weapons, started shooting at each other.  An innocent bystander was hurt.  Okay, I have to be honest here and tell you that when I die I want to be real old, real sick, or doing something worth dying for.  I do not want “innocent bystander” anywhere in my obituary.  That’s looking increasingly  unlikely in Texas.

I was out of pocket last night, but I got text messages from friends telling me to turn on the teevee because the entire Texas Republican Party was strutting tail feathers and horse hockey in public by saying that the new solution to gun violence on college campuses is to arm everybody.

Increasingly, I am of the opinion that they all own stock in funeral homes.

Let’s say I’m sitting in American Lit 301 and a gunfight breaks out between the two guys on the back row and bullets are flying around like a pinball machine.  Help me here:  how am I supposed to know which one is the good guy and which one is the bad guy?  Are we going to require them to wear white or black hats?   Is one of them required to go Beep Beep like the roadrunner or say, “Luke, I am your father”?

So, I figure this is my one grand opportunity to shoot Betty Sue on the front row because she stole my boyfriend and ruins the curve on every test.  I could shoot her and then just say, “oops.”  I take aim and then realize that Betty Sue has an assault rifle the size of Vermont and is pondering whether to shoot me or either one of the guys in the back.  Dewayne, who left his gun at home that day, throws himself on the floor like some sort of table arrangement at a picnic and trips the security guard coming in the door which luckily for me is a good thing because that is when I realize that I am not only wearing all black that day but am making strange beep-beep sounds.

I hate Texas Republicans.  I really do.  The last damn thing we need is armed students at colleges. That is what caused the mess yesterday.  That is not what solved it.

Yes, he does.  Seriously.

Rep. James Lankford (R-OK), the fifth-ranking House Republican, laid the blame for gun violence at the feet of an unusual suspect: the children of “welfare moms” who commit fraud.

That’s a two-fer. You can blame women AND poor people all at once.

He claims that gun violence is cause by putting kids on psychiatric drugs to get more benefits. I knew they’d eventually get to blaming women even though it’s men doing the shooting.

Gun violence is caused by everything except guns.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

If you’re wondering what caliber God is carrying, you may get some guidance form California Assemblyman Tim Donnelly.

Tim’s been shown the light and wants to shine it in your eyes —

A Republican lawmaker in California who disagrees with President Barack Obama’s effort to prevent mass shootings says that guns are an “absolutely essential” part of God’s plan.

“Guns are used an average of 3 million times a year according to the Clinton Justice Department,” Assemblyman Tim Donnelly told the Christian talk radio show The Bottom Line on Wednesday. “That’s like 6,900 times a day. That’s the high end of the statistics, other people say it’s only 200 times a day.”

“Whatever that number is, they are used to defend human life,” he explained. “They are used to defend our property and our families and our faith and our freedom, and they are absolutely essential to living the way God intended for us to live.”

Tim, Babe, oh Honey, Bless your heart.

Tim is also real, real, sure that President Obama’s nakkid power grab to get guns would have done nothing to stop Sandy Hook.  Uh, I can think of at least one person’s guns that needed taking.

Thanks to Lindy for the heads up.