Archive for January, 2013

Finally! An Honest Republican!

January 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Holy Crap. No, Seriously, Actual HOLY Crap.

January 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

So, out of the clear blue, the Catholic church has decided, contrary to years of wanting to force women to have babies under the guise of pro-life, has decided that maybe a fetus isn’t a person after all.

But only if it will cost them money.

A woman pregnant with twins shows up at a Catholic hospital emergency room.  The doctor is paged.  He refuses to respond to the page and she dies, along with the twins she was  carrying.

The husband sues for wrongful death of his wife and the twins.

And the lawyer hired by the Catholic church argues —

As Jason Langley, an attorney with Denver-based Kennedy Childs, argued in one of the briefs he filed for the defense, the court “should not overturn the long-standing rule in Colorado that the term ‘person,’ as is used in the Wrongful Death Act, encompasses only individuals born alive. Colorado state courts define ‘person’ under the Act to include only those born alive. Therefore Plaintiffs cannot maintain wrongful death claims based on two unborn fetuses.”

Oh, so now a fetus is a person unless they are left neglected to die in a Catholic Hospital.

That’s the problem with sanctimony – it has a large capacity to bite back.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

The Michelle Eye Roll

January 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, biggest thing on the Internet Tubes – Michelle Obama’s eye roll at John Boehner.

Personally, I think estrogen causes all women do that around John Boehner.

I also think she was saying, “Good Lord, Man, I can even smell your orange.  Tone it down, Bud.”

Or maybe, “Yeah, in a million years.  No, wait, let me check – nope, not even then.”

Well, Bless His Heart, He Does Have an Unfortunate Name

January 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Customer Paul likes to make me feel better by reminding me that Texas isn’t the only clown show in town.  I appreciate that.

Virginia is pulling up as a crazyville contender in recent months.

Virginia's Dick Black

A Republican state lawmaker in Virginia stirred controversy on Tuesday when he used the occasion of the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade to compare abortion to the Holocaust.

State Sen. Dick Black (R-13th District) took to the floor and likened abortion clinics to Nazi concentration camps, saying at both places horrors “were taking place behind closed doors.”

So, he would prefer medical procedures be done on Main Street with a viewing stand?

Women exercising their constitutionally guaranteed rights is the same as Nazis.  I wonder why that’s not true for men with their guns?

But, the winner goes to …

A Republican lawmaker in New Mexico introduced a bill on Wednesday that would legally require victims of rape to carry their pregnancies to term in order to use the fetus as evidence for a sexual assault trial.

House Bill 206, introduced by state Rep. Cathrynn Brown (R), would charge a rape victim who ended her pregnancy with a third-degree felony for “tampering with evidence.”

There is a real special place in hell for state Rep Cathrynn Brown.  Will they hold the “evidence” in the “evidence locker” until trial.  How about chain of custody?  It is obviously that Rep Brown has not watched near enough CSI: Crime Scene Investigation shows.

Thanks to Paul and Brian C for the heads up.

Maybe His Tangue Got Tungled Up or He Has Dame Bramage

January 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

But my bet is that he’s just goofy.

Texas Lt. Gov David Dewhurst, who during his primary race against Ted Cruz was referred to as “the almost sane one,” is losing ground on that title.

You mean like arm college students or extort women with the threat of a trans-vaginal ultrasound?  Is that what you’re bragging about?

Hey, Dew, although I am certain that you didn’t mean to say that we do things in Texas that people with a fully functioning brain would never do, at least you’re looking in the right direction.

Thanks to Jim Henson for catching that one.

Fox News Lose

January 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, I watched Hillary Clinton’s testimony again last night.  Outside of the fact that John McCain really should be taken off the track and put out to stud or something and Rand Paul has Presidential fantasies that make me snort-laugh out of my nose, I had to blink twice when I saw Fox New’s summary of her testimony.

Really, now?

It kinda makes you wonder what they were watching.  Anybody who can hear thunder and see lightening did not see what Fox News saw.

But, in their defense, I am absolutely dead solid certain that’s what they wish they saw.  And also in their defense, I am certain that they made that cool graphic weeks prior to her testimony and didn’t want to scrap it because cool graphics are hard and confusing.

Honey, she whipped them silly while recovering from a blood clot in her brain.  Once that is cleared up, they might want to clear out.

Thanks to Ashley for the heads up.