The best part about the rightwing is that they see a conspiracy everywhere.  You know, like the one that placed a fake birth announcement in Hawaiian newspapers so that Barack Obama could become President.

They have a much cooler explanation of why Hillary Clinton was in the hospital.  If I were her, I’d go with their story.

A startling Foreign Military Intelligence (GRU) report circulating in the Kremlin today states that President Obama was informed by White House medical personal shortly after Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s return to the United States that her health prognosis was “grim” as her likelihood of survival was “diminishing by the hour.”

As we had previously reported in our 30 December report, Clinton Injured, US Navy Seal Killed In Secret US Mission To Iran, Secretary Clinton was severely injured over a fortnight ago when her US military C-12 Huron aircraft crash landed at Iran’s Ahwaz International Airport during a US secret mission to that Persian Gulf nation where she was reported to be “unconscious” and “bleeding profusely.”

US mainstream propaganda news sources have, so far, denied the truth of this incident and as late as 28 December were reporting that Secretary Clinton would be returning to work this past week after her having suffered a bout of the flu and a concussion.

Cool, she’s like James Bond.

So, she went from”near death” to this —

And the only reason she’s wearing a coat is because she has to hide the scars.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Glen beck has decided that any staff member who says the words “Barack Obama” will be immediately fired.

Seriously.

Conservative radio host Glenn Beck returned from his 18-day holiday break on Wednesday with a New Year’s resolution to terminate any of his employees who utter President Barack Obama’s name in 2013.

“This is in effect,” Beck warned his staff. “Anyone who brings him up — unless it’s me — is fired… I can’t take the man’s voice, I don’t want to hear him, I don’t want to know about him. You want that information, go anyplace else. There’s thousands of outlets. You can have all the information you want, I’m not talking about that man.”

But, this does seem to level the fairness doctrine.  I’ll betcha that Barack Obama doesn’t say “Glen Beck” all year either.

Good grief.  So are you trying to tell me that Peter King and Chris Christie are just now noticing that the political party they salute is a bunch of mean, uncaring, callous hacks who would sell their grandma for three minutes of airtime and an hour of power?

Peter King - Got a kink in his thinking mechanism

Did Peter and Chris harbor – and dock – under the misconception that their party defines “conservative” as John Boehner so elegantly put it, “go f*** yourself”?  That’s their Party philosophy in three words.

Peter King says he may join the Democratic Party.  I dunno.  Anybody who is that completely unaware of what their party stands for might not know that we favor the United part of the United States.

I have one thing to say to these guys – Honey, ya lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.  You boys built this snake and then you want to holler when it bites you.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

You’ll enjoy this one.

Republicans have grown to habitually blame everything on Barack Obama.  The economy?  Barack Obama.  The deficit?  Barack Obama.  The fact that it’s 2013 and we still don’t have flying cars?  Barack Obama, well, and maybe Bill Gates.

They have grown so used to doing this that they cannot stop.

Appearing on Fox News Thursday, syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer said President Barack Obama has successfully broken the will of Republicans in the House and has created an “internal civil war” amidst “fiscal cliff” negotiations.

“He’s been using this, and I must say with great skill — and ruthless skill and success — to fracture and basically shatter the Republican opposition,” Krauthammer said. “His objective from the very beginning was to break the will of the Republicans in the House, and to create an internal civil war. And he’s done that.”

So what is President Obama?  The Dope Whisperer.

In his attempt to govern and to keep us from falling off the cliff, it’s Obama’s fault that the Republicans are square dancing with chain saws.

Good grief.

Then Krauthammer says …

But all-in-all, he explained, Obama will be “remembered as a failed president.”

Honey, if Barack Obama destroys the GOP, then he’ll go down in history as a great, nifty and handsome.   He doesn’t have to do anything else, just that and history will adore him.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Rand Paul, the man with the dead baby squirrel on his head, is condemning Democrats for wanting to “drown the rich.”

Rand Paul

Rand Paul (R-KY) brought the shrillness to new heights today on the Senate floor, screeching about how y’all want to punish the rich “producers” and how you’d pay for it when you ruin the economy just because you wanted to get some rich people. Paul likened raising taxes on rich people to “drowning” them (a more specific version of “death by taxes”). Yes, you are killing rich people out of pure spite.

I know this is a stupid question but I’m just full of stupid.  We’ve had the lowest tax rate on the rich for 12 years now and where the hell are the jobs?  Where the hell is the trickle down?  These guys did not create jobs – they created Swiss bank accounts.

I do not want to drown the rich.  I just want to keep them from peeing in the pool.

Thanks to Marcia for the heads up.

Look, I know this is some tough times for John Boehner.  I know that by about 10:00 last night he was feeling that if he was a dog on Noah’s ark he’d get stuck with both fleas.

But that’s no excuse for saying the F word to Harry Reid.  The worst F word that Harry Reid has ever said is fiddlesticks.

According to Politico, several sources claimed to have overheard a verbal altercation between the two men in the White House lobby.

With no bipartisan agreement about the debt ceiling, spending cuts and tax increases in sight, Boehner reportedly pointed at Reid and said, “Go f**k yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” Reid asked.

And Boehner again said, “Go f**k yourself.”

I completely understand that last night, at least to John Boehner, Harry Reid looked like a man who’d won the lottery twice in a row.  But in reality Harry wasn’t having a stellar night himself.  Joey B had to come save the day.  So I think the man Boehner wanted to say the F word to was Joey B.  I wouldn’t mind that because Joey B has used the F word himself and could knock Boehner so cold that by the time he woke up his clothes would be out of style.

John Boehner is a pissant of a man.