Lindsey Graham is just shocked about Chuck Hagel. He accusing President of acting like he won the election.

Graham is the oddest man on earth to be claiming anybody is outside the mainstream.

I’m headed to Austin tomorrow to watch the Texas Lege get sworn in and to make fun of what Debbie Riddle says.

Our Lege meets for 140 damn days every two years and makes more mess than finger paints in a kindergarten class.

If anybody has any extra free time, you can help me find crazy bills at this handy location.  Thee will be some real crazy stuff filed in the coming month so you might want to wear a gas mask while you search.

I’m serious.  We elect some crazy people to the Lege.  Apparently, there’s no rules about that.

The big issue this session will be vouchers.  The big money boys want to open for-profit private schools n Texas and Rick Perry wants to help them.

In The Big Lebowski, the Stranger says, “Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well, he eats you.”  I’d like to add … And sometimes nobody gets dinner.

A year and half ago I told you about a billboard near Lufkin, Texas, that just beats all.  Even for East Texas.

I made Ole Bubba pull over and let me take a picture of it because I considered it a Republican crime scene.  You have to put a disclaimer on political signs in Texas saying who paid for it.   This sign had no disclaimer.  No right wing nut in all of East Texas had the guts to stand up and say what they believe and put their name on it.   It comes from their days of wearing hoods.

The Angelina Democratic County Chair  filed a complaint with FEC.  And the FEC made their ruling last November.  I’m just now finding out about it because somebody, and I’m not going to mention any names here but their initials are Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen, fell down on the job.

The FEC was able to trace the purchaser back to Winston Ranch in Lufkin, where the Piney Woods Cattle Baron’s Ball is held, and specifically to Virginia Winston as the purchaser.  She had two signs.  The cost was $10,500.

In response to the complaint, Virginia hand wrote back to the FEC that she is an 82 year old widow woman with health issues.  She claims not to know anything about these rules and she just copied something she saw on the internet.  It should be noted that Virginia is also a member of the Lufkin Junior League, and that Winston Ranch is not exactly a trailer park.   (Click here and see page 29)  It’s a 1,000 acre cattle ranch with award winning cows.  This old woman probably has enough money to burn a wet elephant.

I’d be willing to bet that Virginia has more lawyers on retainer than the FEC does.

So, Virginia leads the FEC to believe she’s some poor widow woman living on social security with a hacking cough who doesn’t even own a computer to write her letters.

So they don’t even fine her because, as they say, “she seems highly unlikely to repeat the violations.”

Oh, so you get one free ride at the FEC if you’re old.  Dude, I am so going to remember that.  Another ten years and a nasty bout of pneumonia and I can start making money by people paying me to take responsibility for FEC violations.

I have proper Junior League stationery, Virginia’s address, and full intent to find out how much money Winston Ranch gets in ag exemptions and government subsidies.  I am going to let her know, in the sweetest way possible, that I’m going to buy an ad in the newspaper, print a list of all the government aid she gets, and sign my name to it.

I figure that evens things up, because I believe in personal responsibility and consequences.  No, wait, only Republicans believe that.

Ted Cruz is our new Tea Party Republican Senator.  He makes Rand Paul look like a sane liberal college professor.

Bless his heart, his head’s so hollow he’s got to talk with his hands to get away from the echo.

Couple that with Fox New Sunday and you get …

Newly-elected Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) accused politicians of exploiting the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut to advance gun safety legislation and argued that efforts to limit assault weapons and high capacity magazines are unconstitutional.

So, according the Cruz you can now own a sawed-off shotgun, a missile launcher, and a small tactical nuclear weapon.

It’s only gonna get worse, Folks, because Cruz ain’t gonna shuddup.

Thanks to Tony and Kathleen for the heads up.

Because some people just really resent that they can’t say the N word anymore, they have to find other ways to be a son of a motherless goat.

Wisconsin state Senator Glenn Grothman (R) has launched a new war on Kwanzaa, claiming it is a fake holiday invented by racist radicals who want to “divide America.”

Kwanzaa is a holiday celebrated by “left wing nuts” because “they don’t like America and seek to destroy it.”

Kwanza Expert Glen Grothman

I guess now would not be the time to remind Glen Grothman that Kwanzaa is celebrated on the 7 principles of unity.

Grothman is also resentful that he can’t say chick or gal anymore. In supporting  Scott Walker’s repeal of the equal pay law …

A Republican lawmaker in Wisconsin has an eyebrow-raising theory for the chasm between men and women’s salaries: Men care more about money.

Do you want to know why that is?  Of course you do.

“Take a hypothetical husband and wife who are both lawyers,” Grothman told the website. “But the husband is working 50 or 60 hours a week, going all out, making 200 grand a year. The woman takes time off, raises kids, is not go, go, go. Now they’re 50 years old. The husband is making 200 grand a year, the woman is making 40 grand a year. It wasn’t discrimination. There was a different sense of urgency in each person.”

And if you’re a single woman with a family or a man who wants to help raise his children, then you are seriously screwed up and probably voted for the Kwanza.

Thanks to Dan in Wisconsin for the heads up.

The best part about former Texas Congresscheater Dick Armey is that he won’t stay bought.

As the boys at Freedom Works have learned, you can buy him but you don’t get a receipt.  After his armed coup at Freedom Works failed, Cancer Treatment Centers of America founder Richard J. Stephenson agreed to pay Armey $400,000 a year for 20 years just for Armey to leave and go away.  Armey claimed that with this buy out, he;ll never have to work again.  Except for his mouth – he’ll keep working that.

What did Freedom Works get for its $8 million buy-out of Dick’s contract? They got Dick.

Former FreedomWorks chairman Dick Armey revealed that the Tea Party group paid Glenn Beck about $1 million to say “nice things” about the group on his radio show, and that it got a negative return on that investment … It’s the latest strange revelation in the FreedomWorks civil war. Armey reportedly tried to stage an armed coup last fall, but his reign didn’t last long, and donor Richard J. Stephenson agreed to pay Armey $400,000 a year for 20 years to go away. Apparently that didn’t come with a non-disparagement clause.

And he also says FreedomWorks paid Rush Limbaugh to talk some sweet about them.

It appears that Armey is going to take his 15 minutes of fame in sound bites.

Pass the popcorn.  It ain’t my bull being gored.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.