Just in case you haven’t heard, President Obama has joined with others in making January 19th the Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service.

Not to let a day of service honoring a black man pass without comment, the gun freaks have announced that they will use that same day as “Gun Appreciation Day.”  Best we know, school children in Sandy Hook will not be appreciative enough to satisfy the participation requirements.

The timing of this event is not lost on the organizers.  It is two days before Barack Obama is inaugurated.  Outdoors.

Yeah, they really did put that on their website, along with rants about the President banning all guns.

Listen up, dudes with small winkies, they have drones that can shoot a missile down your chimney and aircraft carriers that can sit 50 miles offshore and hit your bass boat right in the Evinrude.   They have women who can blast your Bushmaster right outta your hands before you even finish your second beer.   They have damn nuclear weapons.  Do you think a 200 round clip can trump that?

I’m beginning to think that anyone who owns a weapon to protect against tyranny is too damn crazy to own a weapon.

You know what else bothers me about that site.  This:

Do you know where Thomas Jefferson said that?  In a rough draft of the Virginia constitution.  Seriously.  He wrote it, thought better because he foresaw Jim Bob over at the bowling alley drunk, armed, and looking for Betty Lou, and then took it out.   You’ll note that this is filed at my link under “Spurious Quotations.”

Dudes, you screw with Thomas Jefferson and you gotta come through me and my can of Aqua Net to do it.

So, while you and I are out doing service, the men with small winkies will be at the gun shop.  Where they spend every damn Saturday anyway.

Thanks to Fenway Fran for the heads up.

Uh oh, in cases like this you gotta ask yourself (1) what dirty secrets are they trying to hide, and (2) do they know what the hell obstruction of justice means?

Michele is refusing to pay some of her Iowa campaign staff, even though she and her somewhat delicate husband are swimming in money.

Dr. Peter Waldron, Bachmann for President National Field Coordinator, explained it this way, “Recently Mr. Pollack demanded that each unpaid staff member sign a non-disclosure agreement that prohibits any discussion of any criminal, moral, and/or unethical behavior witnessed during Mrs. Bachmann’s campaign in Iowa. In fact, Mr. Pollack insists that each staffer not speak to law enforcement and/or lawyers without first speaking with Mrs. Bachmann’s attorneys.”

Good Lord, even Lindsay Lohan doesn’t demand that from her staff.

Well, come to find out Bachmann “the Urbandale, Iowa, police department is investigating the theft of confidential data from a staff member’s personal laptop computer and cover-up of the theft by her staff.”

Confidential data?  Really, now?  Maybe they don’t teach this at Oral Roberts University where Michele went to “law school” but demanding that someone not speak to the police during a criminal investigation is what we here in the real world call obstruction of  justice.  You know, what Republicans gleefully impeached Bill Clinton for doing.

And under the category of “Who Needs Lions When You Have Two Christians Ready to Eat Each Other?” comes this from Dr. Peter Waldron, Bachmann for President National Field Coordinator ….

“It is sobering to think that a Christian member of Congress would betray her testimony to the Lord and the public by withholding earned wages from deserving staff,” Dr. Waldron concluded.

Let’s stay tuned.  This might get funner.

Thanks to Rick and Ralph for the heads up.

The American Family Association isn’t American or Family Centered but it is, however, an Association so one out of three ain’t bad.

They tend to use the Bible as a weapon instead of a guideline.  So, they were outraged, outraged I tell you, that the proposed Employment Nondiscrimination Act will cause “flaming homosexuals” to storm Christian bookstores and demand jobs.

Well, don’t that just beat all.

You mean Christian bookstores where they have signs that say Love One Another?

Brian Fischer, the leader of the American Family Association, henceforth know only as Association, was having celestial visions.

If the law goes into effect, “the homosexual lobby will send a flaming homosexual into that Christian bookstore to apply for a job. They’ll send a guy in there wearing stillettos, a dress, and dangly earrings and dare the owner of that Christian bookstore not to hire him.”

Describe the dress, Brian, I want to know more about the dress.  No self respecting homosexual would wear just “a dress.”  It would have to be an outfit.  And it would have accessories better than oh dear God dangly earrings, a certain tool of the devil.

Brian Fischer: Flaming

It’s not in the story, but I’m betting you that Brian got himself so enthralled with the vision of RuPaul working behind his counter that he had to excuse himself for a minute to go take a cold shower and fan himself for a minute.

Anyway, if the “homosexual lobby” (which, best I know, is outside most any Broadway musical) doesn’t do this, I will.

And Brian Fischer didn’t even consider another result of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act – he could demand to be hired at an adult book store.

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

This one comes to us from Chicago, where a school board candidate objected to replacing the current 55 year old building used to teach special needs students.  The building is pretty crappy.

… some of the problems with the current facility: hallways too narrow for wheelchairs, inadequate bathrooms, no air conditioning, and so little space that they’re forced to use a janitor’s closet for teaching.

Jan Shaw spoke to the school board last month —

“Don’t build a magnet that’s going to be pulling more special needs children into the district that we’re going to have to educate the whole way through,” Shaw said.

When later asked if maybe, just maybe, that statement was a tad offensive to children with special needs, Jan had a ready answer.

Shaw says, “I could see somebody who’s got special needs kids who wants everything for their child saying somebody told me no. How dare you say no to the poor little child? Of course those kids need to be educated. I understand that…but I also think somebody needs to represent the taxpayers around here.”

Oh, I get it.  This is what Matthew meant about separating the sheep from the goats.

Jan, you old goat, you’re going to hell.

Thanks to Angela for the heads up.

In 2007, Texas voter overwhelmingly approved the Cancer Prevention and Research Institute of Texas.  It’s the same sad story of a public trust and money being used to make friends of Rick Perry very wealthy.

The long and agonizing back story is that Rick Perry’s friends got grants from the fund without having their request properly vetted.  And there has been no positive results from those funds.  And Texas newspapers have been going wild researching where the damn money is going and who is getting it.  This ain’t pocket change.  This is $3 billion, with a b, that Perry amusingly calls “an assault on cancer.”

The whole thing is a disgrace, and cancer is laughing.

Texas legislators used the noblest of language to tout the 2007 bill that created the state’s taxpayer-funded, $3 billion assault on cancer, but Gov. Rick Perry now says creating wealth is a key mission of the cancer agency.

In an interview with the Houston Chronicle this week, Perry said the embattled Cancer Prevention and Research Institute of Texas must regain public trust so it can carry out its dual mission of cure discovery and commercialization.

“The way that the Legislature intended it was to get cures into the public’s arena as soon as possible and at the same time create economic avenues (from) which wealth can be created,” said Perry. “Basic research takes a long time and may or may not ever create wealth.”

So now Governor Perry says that the purpose of the fund is to create wealth.  You know, because pharmaceutical companies ain’t making enough money by ripping off sick people enough already.

Texas Democrat Craig Eiland ain’t buying the create wealth thing.

“I believe that the purpose of the Cancer Prevention and Research Institute of Texas was to research and develop cures and treatments for cancer, not act as an investment bank or hedge fund to ‘create wealth,'” said Eiland. “The state has the Emerging Technology Fund and the Enterprise Fund as business development tools.”

I mean, hellfire, why didn’t we just give Rick Perry $3 billion, with a b, to hand out to his friends and not tease with the whole false hope about curing cancer thing.

Rick Perry is evil, y’all.  He’s right out of a Stephen King novel.

It’s cancer, Rick, and you know how karma is a bitch.