Alex Jones pounds on Glen Beck.  For your viewing delight, I offer Lunch Time at The Funny Farm

Please allow me to introduce you to Texas Congressidiot Steve Stockman.

Weird even by Texas standards

This is not Steve’s first time to serve in congress representing Texas.  He was elected for one term in 1994 and promptly defeated for what the Beaumont Enterprise described …

Stockman’s two years in Congress were marked by weirdness, such as an article in Guns & Ammo magazine that appeared under his byline in which he suggested the then-new Clinton administration raided the Branch Davidian compound in Waco on April 19, 1993, to justify a ban on assault weapons.

Oddly, Stockman said this immediately after the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in downtown Oklahoma City.

Stockman spent some time being a vagrant until he found Jesus at the Southern Baptist Church and claims, in his own words, that the reason he lost the election in 1996 was because he “had a birthday, two federal elections, and a wedding anniversary, all within 30 days.”

If you go to Stockman’s website, you’ll discover that President Obama has declared war on Texas.

So, Texas sent Weird Steve back to congress.  Before he even packs his bags, the FEC blew the whistle.  (It opens in a pdf)  It seems that Steve’s contributions are in excess of the limit for individuals or groups, and that he failed to file true and honest timely accounting of contributions just prior to the election.

I am certain this was caused by Obama, the Branch Davidians, Hillary Clinton, the Federal Reserve, and a couple of birthdays, but it’s still an ethics violation.

Now I know you wish I’d quit typing and telling you about Weird Steve, but Steve’s from East Texas and has some work to do to rise to the Louie Gohmert level of nincompoopism.

He’s got a good start.

Freshman Republican Rep. Steve Stockman (Texas) on Monday said he would “seek to thwart” executive action by President Obama in regard to gun laws by any means necessary, even if it means “filing articles of impeachment.”

And to think there are some people who had placed five dollars cash American money bets that Weird Steve would call for impeachment by March.  It took him less than two weeks and now I owe five bucks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen.  Dammit.

Thanks to everybody and their Aunt Mable for the heads up.

The father of elementary school children was volunteering in the school library.  He overheard a kindergarten class reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and felt sure that they left out the word “liberty.”

Look, a kindergartener saying any word after saying indivisible is liable to sound suspicious like a foreign language.  You and me – well, get that and we think it’s cute.

Not so Colin McGroarty.  He went berserk.  He demanded to see the principal, who was busy, and then demanded that the librarian call the principal and she just hushed him.  So he did what any well trained FOX viewer would do – he interrupted the kindergartners and lecture them Bill Reilly style, starting off with a complaint that the world is not as he wants it to be and then ending up with Hilter.

He said Wednesday was the first time he was there to hear the kindergartners say the Pledge of Allegiance. He thought he heard the word “liberty” removed. But more importantly, he said, was that the pledge was immediately followed by students’ recitation of the school creed. In it, students are asked to treat others with respect, follow school and classroom rules and “to try their best.” He said he was upset they pledged this while still holding their hands over their hearts and facing the U.S. flag.

There should be a break between the pledges, he said, and students should not be facing the flag. He called it “conditioning a child” to blindly obey authority without knowing what is in the rules they are promising to obey. “In the beginning of the Hitler Youth movement, people made similar promises,” McGroarty said.

We cannot be running kindergarten this way, so Colin McGroarty told the little children —

“Children, do not blindly follow to swear allegiance and to follow rules without knowing what they are,” and that’s when he told the children to ask their parents about Nazis.

So Colin McGroarty thinks little children know what the Pledge of Allegiance is, but not what treating other with respect is?

Crazy One:  thinking little children should speak clearly.

Crazy Two:  lecturing little children about Nazis

And yes, there is a Crazy Three.  He send an email to school officials saying that he had “spilled blood before” and would do so again to defend freedom.  He later claimed that he meant that he was a veteran and would serve again.

And yes, there are armed guards at the school now and Colin McGroarty is barred from the campus.

Holy crap.  This guy just hit the Fox New Trifecta of Freekin’ Nuts.

President Obama made it clear today that while we have a deadbeat Congress we are not a deadbeat nation.

Now listen to Ole Mitch yabber —

“The president and his allies need to get serious about spending, and the debt-limit debate is the perfect time for it,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., said in a statement.

No, it is not.  Not paying my electric bill because I want to cut back on electricity leaves me with no heating or lights while I’m trying to figure out a way to cut back.  Not paying the bill for what you’ve already used leaves to you freezing in the dark.  And that is exactly what Mitch McConnell wants for America.  Just to make Obama look bad.

McConnell makes my butt itch.

Texas State Representative Steve Toth  is proposing “legislation that would make any federal law banning semiautomatic firearms or limiting the size of gun magazines unenforceable in the Lone Star State.”

You know, because of the chemical reaction that happens when the Second and Tenth Amendments collide in a mess of testosterone and Aqua Velva.   The 10th Amendment keeps the federal government from putting restrictions on the 2nd Amendment.  That is gonna be real exciting news for people who want to holler “FIRE!” in a crowded theater or show pornography on big screen teevees in their front yard.  And, best we can tell, under Toth’s logic, we can shut down Ft. Hood and start housing our troops in all the Republican homes in Waco.

Think of the fun we could have in Texas when we take restrictions off the Bill of Rights!

Toth and Nails

But, Toth isn’t finished yet.

Under his plan, anyone trying to enforce a federal gun ban could be charged with a felony in Texas.

A felony.  Damn.  This dude is gonna charge the federal government with a felony.  Boy Howdy, talk about a deterrent.  He doesn’t say what the range of punishment would be, but I bet it has something to do with protecting the Governor from coyotes.

Yeah, and if they try to keep us from arming every school teacher in Texas with a gun in the classroom, we’ll slap them on the wrist with a ruler!  A big ruler, not one of those flimsy little 3 inch ones.  You know, like Steve Toth has.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Glenn Beck, Grand Wizard of Goofy, not only has moved to Texas, he’s opening a commune here.

Yeah, that worked out real well for David Koresh.

Beck wants to use Ayn Rand’s fictional utopian “Galt’s Gulch.”   The key word here is fictional.  I give it a week before it becomes Lord of the Flies.

[Beck is] unveiling grandiose plans to create an entirely self-sustaining community called Independence Park that will provide its own food and energy, produce television and film content, host research and development, serve as a marketplace for products and ideas, while also housing a theme park and serving as a residential community.

At the center — in the middle of the lake that is itself larger than all of Disney Land – Beck (with the help of David Barton) will create a massive “national archive”/learning center where people can send their children to be “deprogrammed” and elected officials can come to learn “the truth.”

Dude, that’s Jamestown.

My best hope is that they secede and can’t vote in America.  On the upside, it will be nice to have people in robes selling flowers at airports again.

And, hell, if it does go Lord of the Flies and they all kill each other, that does kinda prove our national selection theory.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.