Former (thank you, Lord) Texas Republican congresscritter Dick Armey is a big ole hunk of ego walking around on tiny little feet.  Seriously, every time I see him, I snicker.

Dick. Just Dick.

The  former  minority leader and double digit IQ carrier has said some stoopid things in his life.  Remember when he said that cars can commit mass murder?  God forgive me, I cannot chronicle his ignorance – it’s too much work for an old woman.

Well, Dick got to cahooting with the Tea Party and ended up on the payroll of Freedom Works, a group of people who don’t believe in freedom or work.

Well, after the Tea Party got walloped in the last election, there was a splitting of the sheets between Mr. Armey and the Tea Party, who, ironically is generally also known as The Dick Armey.

The jilted lover, the first Dick Armey, wrote a snitty letter to the folks at the Other Dick Armey, where they are trying to Dick it out.

November 30, 2012
To: Matt Kibbe, President, FreedomWorks Inc.
From: Honorable Richard K. Armey
Regarding: Resignation

This is to inform you that as of 5:00 P.M. ET on November 30, 2012 I resign my position of Trustee at FreedomWorks, Inc. and my positions of Chairman of FreedomWorks and FreedomWorks Foundation.

As I resign from all board positions and duties, please see below a list of dispositions on outstanding issues: I expect to be fully compensated through the expiration date (December 31, 2012) of my current consulting contract with FreedomWorks. Henceforth FreedomWorks shall be prohibited from using my name, image, or signature in any way or for any purpose without my written permission or in the event of my death, without my heirs written permission.

Effective immediately I expect that Freedom Works shall remove my name, image, and signature from all its letters, print media, postings, web sites, videos, testimonials, endorsements, fund raising materials, and social media, including but not limited to Facebook and Twitter. I expect to receive via email at [redacted] by the close of business, December 4, 2012, all user names, passwords, security questions, and security answers for all accounts, web sites and social media, including but not limited to Facebook and Twitter, created in my name.

Effective immediately FreedomWorks is prohibited from using my booklet or any updated versions of my booklet “Hitting the Ground Running” without my written permission which I innovated while still in congress and trusted to Max Pappas to update for new member orientation. I request that FreedomWorks deliver the copy of my official congressional portrait to my home in Texas.

Yes, yes, the official congressional portrait.  He only rents that out to the highest bidder.

Okay, admit it, you snickered while reading that letter.  You did.  You are enjoying this melt down of the Tea Party more than is proper. Yeah, me, too.

Added at 5:45 today —

“A confidential contract obtained by The Associated Press shows that Armey agreed in September to resign from his role as chairman of Washington-based FreedomWorks in exchange for $8 million in consulting fees paid in annual $400,000 installments. Dated Sept. 24, the contract specifies that Armey would resign his position at both FreedomWorks and its sister organization, the FreedomWorks Foundation, by the end of November.”

Thanks to Ellen, Carl, and David for the heads up.

Ole Bubba and I were watching the electric teevee the other night and Bubba,who has a triple digit IQ and can multitask, was reading his iPad.

All of a sudden, Ole Bubba just hoots. He said, “Babe, you’re gonna love this and enjoy it in an unflattering and unseemly manner.”

Ole Bubba knows me well.

I am not a fan of Ann Romney. From the day she said, “you people,” until her haughty presence after the second debate when she refused to even look at President Obama when she took the stage, I have found Ann Romney to be a very entitled woman. I thought that she patronized me and every other struggling young couple when she talked about having to sell stocks (oh my!) to pay bills in college.

She was a woman lacking class before the election and she hasn’t improved much. At all.

By all accounts, the past month has been most difficult on Romney’s wife, Ann, who friends said believed up until the end that ascending to the White House was their destiny. They said she has been crying in private and trying to get back to riding her horses

Bubba is happy to report that I have never in our marriage cried because I am not First Lady.

Maybe we could all pitch in and buy her a princess outfit.

See, I am behaving just as Ole Bubba predicted – unseemly. So, instead of saying anything else, I will simply say, “Bless her heart.”

Republicans.  Live live with them; can’t flush them.

They have a plan for the fiscal cliff:

Boehner's Doomsday

Republicans are seriously considering a Doomsday Plan if fiscal cliff talks collapse entirely. It’s quite simple: House Republicans would allow a vote on extending the Bush middle class tax cuts (the bill passed in August by the Senate) and offer the President nothing more: no extension of the debt ceiling, nothing on unemployment, nothing on closing loopholes. Congress would recess for the holidays and the president would face a big battle early in the year over the debt ceiling.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why they don’t call it “Bring Me the Head of Barack Obama Plan,” because that’s what is it.

I dunno, is it just me?  Calling something the Doomsday Plan seems a bit over the top what with December 21st approaching.

Republican Congressvarmint Scott DesJarlias is a jackass.  Sorry, Momma, but no other word will work here.

He’s as worthless as a screen door on a submarine and he’s going to hell in a frilly hand decorated handbasket.

DesJarlais, who is a physician, remains anti-choice even though he supported his ex-wife’s two abortions and encouraged a mistress to have one, too, just for the helluvit.

He’s has sex with multiple of his patients and is just generally a complete jerk.

But, none of that matters.

U.S. Rep. Scott DesJarlais, R-Tenn., says God has “forgiven me” and asked “fellow Christians” and constituents “to consider doing the same.”

Scott, Babe, your soul belongs to God.  But your butt?  That belongs to us.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

The first step to becoming a Republican is to have a humorectomy.

Do you know any funny Republicans?  You do not.

So, it comes as no surprise that everybody’s favorite Twinkie and Ding Dong replacement, Todd Akin, did not get Jamie Foxx’s joke at the 2012 Soul Train Awards, which, and I’m only guessing here, Akin did not personally attend.

Foxx joked that President Barack Obama was “our Lord and savior.”  Again I am only guessing here, but I don’t think that by the use of the word “our” that Foxx meant Todd Akin.

But Akin felt legitimately raped by that comment and sent out this email.

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. I saw this article and wanted to pass it along, because it is frankly quite appalling.

Our Christian values are being mocked openly by Hollywood elite, the media, and the professional left. This past weekend, a performer on a nationally televised broadcast referred to President Obama as “Our Lord and Savior.”

Article after article has been written about a no-name filmmaker who produced a short video mocking Islam.

How much do you think will be written about an Oscar winning Hollywood star mocking Christianity.

Friends, I may have lost the Senate race, but I do not plan to stop speaking out about the problems facing our country, and I encourage you to do so as well!

Thanks for all you do, in particular your recent help in getting our last few remaining campaign bills paid promptly. We’re making great progress on that front, but could still use your help if you can donate $10 today! We want to make sure our vendors, who sacrificed a lot for this campaign, are paid as quickly as possible.

Sincerely,

Todd

P.S. – Don’t forget to chip in $10 to get our last few bills settled! I want to continue the fight for a better America alongside you.

I hope you have “the biological ability to ward off” puking.

Poor guy, went through a whole election, got beat so bad that his grandchildren will be born shaking, and he didn’t learn diddle squat.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Whaddya think?

Would this do it?