You will be happy to know that President Barack Obama is no longer a Muslim, Kenyan, socialist/communist, tool of the devil, hell bent on destroying America.

Glad that’s over, right?

He’s now a gay Muslim, Kenyan, socialist/communist, tool of the devil, hell bent on destroying America.

And Mitt Romney is still going to get whooped by him.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

In fact, they liked it so much that a Republican lynched one in Austin.

Reports a blogger:

Updated 6:28 p.m. I called the homeowner to ask about his display, citing my concerns as a fellow Austinite. He replied, and I quote, “I don’t really give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take [your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama with you. I don’t give a sh**. If you don’t like it, don’t come down my street.”

I guess he’d been on Rick Perry’s phone call and was just standing his ground.

Thanks to Jacob for the heads up.

Mitt Romney appeared on Univision.  In brownface.

My friends assure me that this is exactly how he looked.

Well, his people did come from Mexico.  And maybe he just lightens his face for all other appearances.

Damn, I hope he goes on BET teevee.

Thanks to TexasEllen for the heads up.

Y’all, it’s Rick Perry.

His brains are oozing out his ears.  Or something.

During a conference call with evangelicals on Tuesday, Texas Governor Rick Perry (R) called upon “Christian warriors” and “Christian soldiers” to “stand our ground” against President Barack Obama, who he said is trying to ”remove any trace of religion from American life,” a message inspired by “Satan” himself.

Oh dear Lord, now he’s talking to the devil.  Hell, even crazy old Clint Eastwood only talks to empty chairs.  Rick’s got the devil on speed dial just to check on Obama status updates.

And then there’s that whole really confusing thing about Christian Mitt Romney wanting 47% of the country to wither away and die while Devil Obama wants to care for his fellow humans like, you know, that Jesus fella said to do.

Then that wacky pastor Rick Scarborough credited the governor’s spirituality with ending the Texas drought.  No, no, hot damn no.  Please ‘splain to me why Rick Perry let Bastrop, Texas, burned to the ground.   Why didn’t he say a prayer for them?  He was too busy that day.

Now he’s got the Steeple People all riled up to go to war.  If they don’t get to shoot somebody for Jesus, they are gonna be real upset.

Thanks to everybody who sent me this.

Go get a Twitter account just so you can follow #missing2min. It’s a damn hoot!