Poor Paul Ryan gave a speech at the AARP today and seemed to keep forgetting things. You know, like the fact that seniors hate him and his desire to put them on an iceberg and float them out to sea.

AARP members boo Ryan, but only because it’s illegal to throw things at him.

Thanks to DaChipster and David for the heads up.

Whoa, Rush, TMI.

Rush Limbaugh on Thursday lashed out at feminists — who he called “feminazis” — over the news that male genitalia are shrinking.

The conservative radio host pointed to an Italian study which found that the average male penis was 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago. Researchers cited weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants as factors.

But Limbaugh wasn’t buying that explanation.

“I think it’s feminism,” he declared.

Now this comes from a man who has the worst case of Winkie-Do I’ve ever seen.  Winkie-Do is a medical term for “his stomach sticks out more than his winkie do.”

Rush does not know the size of his male genitalia because he hasn’t been able to see it in 20 years.

Yeah, right, Rush, blame your weenus on me. I’ve never even met your weenus, and when I count my blessings that is always #2 on my list.  #3 is that I am not currently self-immolating.  We’ll talk about #1 later.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.

Why is it always football that brings out the high school Jesus freaks in Texas?

It’s always football where they want Jesus on the field.  It makes it appear that Jesus is not a basketball or baseball fan because these issues never occur there.  It’s only football and now it’s in Kountze, Texas.  And, yes, of course that’s east Texas.

HOUSTON (AP) — For three straight weeks, high school football players in a small southeast Texas town took the field by bolting through large red-and-white banners that hollered the praises of Jesus Christ.

Most people in Kountze viewed the banners as evidence of the students’ admirable moral upbringing — Christianity and the Bible always had been fundamental to this town of 2,100.

But someone complained to a foundation that fights for the separation of church and state, and by Tuesday, a day after receiving a letter from the Freedom From Religion Foundation, the superintendent banned the banners, and the town became embroiled in a controversy that has touched other communities nationwide.

Yes, because nothing quite says “I am a Christian” more than running through a banner with Bible verses on it to kick your butt and probably give you early signs of Parkinson’s disease.

Now, I have a reasonable solution to this.  Does it work?  No, it does not.  Last year the Kountze Lions finished 7th in their division out of 8 teams.  Apparently, there was one team who put Buddhist quotes on their banner and consequently came in dead last.

Except win.

Apparently you cannot do that through Christ.  And Christians all over the word have the Kountze High School football team to thank for that.

Thanks to Sam for the heads up.

Customer mike took this picture hisownself right outside Lincoln, Nebraska.

Neither Mike nor I suspect that’s Jesus’ truck.

Mike says his current thinking is to try and get an adjacent property owner to host a sign, or just leave a large card board sign with something like Oops a swing and a miss.

Thank you Mike for the heads up and the camera skills.

.

.