I’m spending the night in Tennessee tonight and tomorrow night I’ll spend the night on the other side of Tennessee.

However, I want to show you something. Look right here.. This is the most perfect set of pictures from the convention that I’ve seen.

Picture # 20 and # 21 are of the Texas delegation. The “old man” is Glen Maxey, who occasionally posts here and is one of my most favorite Texas Democrats. Glen was our delegation goat herder. As the story explains, every email we got from Glen said, “No freekin’ big hats.”

So, a delegate from Houston named Mary Luckey who is totally adorable made these little hats for everyone.

Here’s mine.

Mary’s hats got national attention and Glen Maxey got called old. That, in my book, is a perfect day.

And, those of you who went to all the trouble to like Juanita Jean on Facebook now understand why I could not post from the convention floor after about 5:00. Every freekin body was attached to their cell phones and the Internet tubes got clogged up.

Juanita’s homework assignment.

There will be a test

Don

Everyone has been enjoying JuanitaJean’s reports from the DemocratIC National Convention (that IS the correct pronunciation Sarah Palin to the contrary not being worth the mention that Senator Kerry made of her in his DNC address). I had a mole inside the RNC. My friend (and cow-orker) Tom was a delegate to the Republican National Convention. Yes, it is possible to have friends who are unrepentant Republicans but Tom is more of a Libertopian and Ron Paul-ite than he is a Republican. In 2004 he ran for Congress as a Libertarian against the otherwise unopposed Republican incumbent. Running as a minor party candidate in Pennsyltucky is no mean feat. Just to get on the ballot requires a herculean effort because the number of signatures required by anyone other than a Republican or Democrat is defined as a percentage of the total vote cast for that office in the previous election. R’s and D’s, in contrast, need only a token thousand or two; the rationale is that everyone who voted in the previous election as an R or D was in effect signing a nomination petition for the next election so the token number is just to keep things looking honest. As a Libertarian, Tom got 100% of the “anybody but Peterson” vote which amounted to about 20% of the votes cast. But he did win the write-in contest for township auditor the following year. (I once won a similar election when I convinced my child to write me in and I got 2 votes which was 1 more than all the other people who wrote themselves in. But then I learned that I wasn’t eligible because I already had an appointed position on the zoning hearing board, so I had to decline the honor.)

After a few years in local government, Tom got the urge to run for another office. This time it was State Representative. The current occupant of the seat was retiring which meant that there would have to be at least one candidate so Tom held his nose and became a Republican, went out and got people to sign petitions to get him on the primary ballot and beat out the choice of the party elders who were forced to pretend to support him but not with money and the Democrat (who, as the former coroner, had better name recognition) won by a handy margin. So this year, Tom decided that he would try for a spot as delegate to the RNC and he circulated petitions, got on the primary ballot and won a spot as delegate which entitled him to as much monetary support as he had previously received as a candidate.

As a Ron Paul-ite, Tom is not beloved by the party hierarchy. He, and several other Paul-ites, attended the convention where they tried to vote against changes to party rules relating to “choosing” delegates rather than the current method where delegates are “selected” by a voting process. “Choosing” allows the party elders (I consider them as brothers-under-the-skin to the party elders in the old CCCP of the USSR who decided what the people wanted and then told the people what they wanted) to replace an elected delegate who doesn’t suit their sensibilities. If that had been the case this year, Tom wouldn’t have been in Tampa at all. But the resolution was enacted on a voice vote and was declared to have been accepted BEFORE the chair called for the Nays who were described as being just as loud, if not as many, as the Ayes.

When it came to the roll call of the states for the nomination, there was another little change to the rules so that instead of announcing that Pennsyltucky cast 206 votes for Mitt Romney and 6 votes for Ron Paul, they only announced the 206 votes for Romney. Minor candidates were not mentioned. This was due to yet another change which altered the number of states required to get a candidate mentioned from 5 to 10. Ron Paul had 6.

While in Tampa, Tom had the fortune to encounter a relatively unknown candidate for President. Vermin Supreme wears a boot for a hat and favors a Federal law mandating tooth brushing. According to the Wikipedia article I consulted Vermin Love Supreme is a performance artist, anarchist, and activist – something like a modern day version of Pat Paulsen. It is of interest to note that Tom’s car now displays a Vermin Supreme bumper sticker. Ain’t democracy wonderful?

Okay, here’s the deal. I got back to the hotel at 3:00 am – long story and it involves Constable Ruben Davis, a medical doctor, three policeman, a bus, and a large woman with a pail of attitude, so you can bet your sweet patootie that I’ll be telling it – and it’s now 9:00 am, which means this is the most sleep I’ve had in four days.

But, Honey, you could not wipe the grin off my face with a stick of dynamite.

Bubba and I are taking the long way home through our beautiful, beloved South, eating our way back to Texas and breathing the crisp air of the Smoky Mountains. I have a thousand stories to tell you and you know I will.

Big, special, adoring hugs to Texas hero Glen Maxey for running the damn near perfect delegation organization and never once telling me to go slap myself, even when I thoroughly earned it.

Meanwhile, I have bags to pack, breakfast to eat, and 1,300 miles to home – all with a big ole grin on my face. So, I want you, my friends, to chatter amongst yourselves, enjoy any of our visiting postings and I’ll see you tonight in Tennessee.

da Chipster

Are We Dumber Off Than We Were 4 Years Ago?

The other day, my homeostatic tranquility was shattered by an article by Greta Van Sustern.  She is a  FAUX News “personality,” a huge Palin friend and booster, and a Scientologist.  (So, basically, a triple crown loon.)  The article that made my blood to boil, my breathing to accelerate, and my heart to race faster than Chris Christie after a jelly doughnut was entitled, “Will We Ever Have a President Who Went to Community College?”

Frankly, I hope not.  I’ve got nothing against Community College students – heck, I’m married to one – but the world is a very complicated place, and getting more so.  I want really, really smart people to run things, people like… Democrats. 

But it starts before college, even.  It starts with going to high school and learning the true basic science behind cosmology, climatology, evolution and paleontology. Then some logic, math and reading comprehension skills. Then a true understanding of how religion is an unprovable, untestable, inconsistent philosophy and not, you know, real, as in a “let’s-rule-the-world” type of reality.

If we can accomplish that through public education, then Democrats will rule the world, because facts and logic are to Republicans what holy water spritzers with garlic garnish are to vampires.

I’m not taking gratuitous shots here, either;  I have data!  Just check out the difference between the First Lady’s speech and that of her wannabe.   Based on the Flesch-Kincaid readability test, Michelle’s speech graded out at a 12th grade level, while Ann’s was more at the Lovie Howell level, 5th grade.  This says almost as much about their respective spouses and audiences as it does about themselves.  But it doesn’t end there.

A few months ago, someone applied the same test to the floor speeches of Congresscritters, and discovered this was the Dumbest. Congress. Ever.  The bottom 10 IQ curve wreckers were all  Republicans and hailed from South Carolina, Kentucky, Arkansas, Arizona and two each from Georgia, Wisconsin and Missouri. Anyone see a pattern?

Now, I had my doubts then as to whether sentence and word complexity were adequate predictors of intelligence, until I went back today and noticed that #6 on the list was Todd Akin.

Yep, America is exactly as she needs to be for Mitt Romney to have a hope in Hades of becoming President:  dumber off than we were 4 years ago.

I spent way too much time picking out my clothes and getting my toenails painted blue and not near enough time on physical training for this convention.

This stuff takes muscles and feet. It’s easily a mile walk to the arena from where the bus drops you off – uphill both ways – and then another half mile walk once you get inside, which North Carolinians charmingly refer to as “just 20 blocks right up there.”

It’s hot, muggy, and there is lightning.

And then there’s this —

Oh my goodness.

I do not want to love this stinker of a man, but I do. Lord help me, I do. This morning they are telling me that 40% of his speech was extemporaneous. And that’s why he’s the Big Dog.

We got back to the hotel at 2:00 am and had to be at breakfast at 7:00. Nobody was late and everybody was smiling. It’s a damn great day to be a Democrat.

I promise some more great stories when I get home. Somebody remind me to tell you about football for girls.

I am the happiest exhausted woman you know.