Hanson, Massachusetts

Somebody taped over the little girl’s middle finger because, apparently, it is not child abuse to pay a little girl to model for a billboard with an obscenity, but someone within the zip code thought it was creepy so they covered it up.  Hansen, Massachusetts:  where creepy is the high standard of personal behavior.

This is only one of three signs Robert Sullivan has erected in front of his business.  Luckily, his lawyer is an idiot.

The offending finger has now been covered over with packing tape and the authorities are debating whether the boards are even legal, since owner Robert Sullivan did not get a permit from the building commissioner to put them up.

Town official Bob Curran said the eye-catching signs could be distracting and dangerous for pedestrians and drivers.

Mr Sullivan’s lawyer, however, said he is protected under the First Amendment and that he is entitled to ‘free speech’.

Ding!  Ding!  No prize for that one, Mr. Lawyer.  They do lack the required federal political disclaimer on them saying who paid for them.  We’re sorry you’re not our winner today, but please see John McCain for your consolation prize.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen who is a whole lot swankier than some guy in Hansen, Massachusetts

I’m gonna have to quit reading.  It makes my blood pressure go up.

What did George W Bush know and when did he know it?

…. the administration’s reaction to what Mr. Bush was told in the weeks before that infamous briefing reflected significantly more negligence than has been disclosed. In other words, the Aug. 6 document, for all of the controversy it provoked, is not nearly as shocking as the briefs that came before it. The direct warnings to Mr. Bush about the possibility of a Qaeda attack began in the spring of 2001. By May 1, the Central Intelligence Agency told the White House of a report that “a group presently in the United States” was planning a terrorist operation. Weeks later, on June 22, the daily brief reported that Qaeda strikes could be “imminent,” although intelligence suggested the time frame was flexible.

You wanna know another reason not to vote for Mitt Romney?  Condi Rice.  He’s talking about bringing her back.  That’s where all this Russia is our enemy talk is coming from.  Left her to devices, the attack on our Embassy yesterday would mean we should nuke Moscow.

They say that Lyndon Johnson went crazy at the end of his life, having nightmares about VietNam.  The problem is that I don’t think W has a conscious or enough verbal skills to actually dream.

Y’all, he’s just clueless.  Seriously.  Clueless.  No, wait, not seriously.  Goofyily – that’s the word I need to create.  Goofyily clueless.

In 2004, then-Masachusetts Governor Mitt Romney succumbed to meet with a group of gay and lesbian parents who were trying to get him to follow that state’s supreme court ruling to enable same-sex couples to marry. Romney reportedly was unmoved after hearing their stories and why they needed the law to allow them to marry — to protect their families.

“I didn’t know you had families,” Romney told the LGBT parents in the group, standing in his office, according to an extensive article in Boston Spirit …

He also did not know that lesbians really do have toaster ovens or that gay men own sporting equipment.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.

My longtime adored friend, TexasEllen, has a grandson with CHARGE syndrome.  Daniel is a breathtakingly gorgeous child and was Ellen’s first grandchild.

This is serious stuff, but I thought you’d like to know one of our favorite customer’s thoughts on Mitt Romney and her grandson.  Elizabeth Moon, also a frequent commenter here, used her website to let Ellen rant.  I want to share it with you.

This is an important election.  For me, for Daniel, and for all of us together.

PRESS RELEASE:

In the early hours of Monday, September 10, 57 year old Junior Janochek, Jr. of Rosenberg, Texas, was walking home from Floozy Flo’s Bar and Buffalo Wings with a blood alcohol level of .9, meaning there was more alcohol in his blood than blood.

Junior stumbled on the sidewalk and fell on his rear end, bruising it badly.  He sat there on the sidewalk for a while and then made his way to St. Mary’s Charity Hospital Emergency Room.  He waited for assistance for a full hour before he decided to show the other people in the emergency waiting room his bruises to see if they thought he needed medical attention.

Once his pants were around his ankles and he was all leaned over pointing at his naked rump, the police were summoned.  Also in the emergency waiting room was Mrs. Verdelia Trunket with her 7 year old grandson, Dude “Bless His Heart He Ain’t Real Bright” Trunket, who had stuffed a piece of popcorn up his nose that she couldn’t get out.

Fearful that she and Dude would lose their place in line if Junior got to go next, she pulled a large caliber weapon out of her purse and attempted to fill Junior’s rump with more lead than a sinker factory.  Verdelia is of the “License, I don’t need no stinkin’ license” school of thinking so she did not take proper aim before pulling the trigger because she wanted the deed done before the police arrived.  She, of course, missed, taking out an armchair, a potted plant that needed killing, two empty oxygen tanks, the recently replaced sliding glass doors to the hospital and Nurse Haley’s favorite trauma cart.

In the ensuing shock of it all, Verdelia’s grandson Dude snorted up the piece of popcorn, two green peas, a pink pencil eraser, and a hair barrette.  We told you he is not very bright.

The police arrived and made a determination that Verdelia should not be messed with.  Also, due to that fact that all 26 of the other people in the waiting room claimed to be in the one toilet bathroom when the incident occurred, they felt that it would just be best to send her home with instructions that she should not shoot people or leave Dude unattended with foodstuff.

They attempted to arrest Junior, who wailed that he was an injured victim and repeatedly tried to show Officer Becky Crowley his injury.   When she said, “Bite me,” Junior took her at her word and resulting in her having to be tested for rabies, several STDs and Hanta Virus.  Junior went to jail.

Immediately following this whole situation, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney released a statement saying, “None of this horror would have happened, including the death of an innocent potted plant, if Barack Obama would not have built the sidewalk so far from Junior’s butt.”

“You can’t argue with that,” commented local newspaper editor T. R. “Hashtag” Wilson.  “Well, maybe you could but it wouldn’t do any good.”

Satsuma, Louisiana

Thanks to my seatmate at the Democratic National Convention, Vickie Vogel.