Archive for September, 2012

Name My Plane!

September 14, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so I’m not saying that Mitt Romney is out of touch with the rest of us, but holy smackers what the fool tarnation planet does this guy live on?

You might have noticed that the middle east on fire today and our ambassador was brutally murdered by thugs, but Hey Sunshine!, Mitt has a bigger problem!

What to name his airplane.

He sends out an email today with this crapola —

Ann likes to joke that the campaign plane should be called “Hair Force One.”

Personally, I don’t quite know what to call it, but I do know it’s crucial in getting this campaign’s message to every corner of the country. And with just 54 days left until the election, we will be putting it to good use.

I’m excited to invite two of my supporters to come on board the plane, and join me for a day on this important journey. I hope you’ll enter for a chance to fly with me.

I don’t know exactly what our itinerary will be, but if you’re one of the winners — I can tell you it will be exciting. And, who knows, maybe you and I will come up with a better name for the campaign plane.

Thanks for your support,

Mitt Romney

How about The Mittfit?  Look, Ma, No Wings or Brains?  Arrogant Airways?  The Egads Express?  The Dumber than Palin and Less Honest than McCain Airline?  Empty Chair Force One?

Dude, don’t make it so easy.

Come on, Folks, join in —-

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

And Stalin Got Rid Of The Breadlines By Shooting All The People In The Breadlines

September 14, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thank you, Donald Trump, for your foreign policy lecture.

Oh Crap.

September 14, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Breaking News

The University of Texas has evacuated this morning due to bomb threats.

The latest —

Update 10:46: UT Austin just posted to Twitter: “Time specified in phone threat has passed but we have not yet cleared all buildings. Decision to resume operations&classes will come shortly”

Hundreds of students are standing near the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard and Brazos Street. Police are telling people to move to the southern side of MLK, and officers and DPS troopers are blocking the entrances to campus in the area.

A UT official told the American-Statesman that the university had received multiple bomb threats to multiple buildings.

North Dakota State University has also received bomb threats this morning, according to news reports.

At 8:35 a.m. the university received a call from a male with a middle eastern accent claiming to have placed bombs all over campus. He said he was with Al Qaeda and these bombs would go off in 90 minutes. President Powers was notified and it was decided to evacuate all of the buildings out of an abundance of caution.

Barefoot, Pregnant, and Voting Republican

September 14, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

If I was married to Ohio Governor John Kasich, his name would be Limpin’ John today.

It seems he got carried away with himself and let us know where Republican women are while their husbands are out running the world.

“It’s not easy to be a spouse of an elected official,” Kasich continued. “You know, they’re at home, doing the laundry and doing so many things while we’re up here on the stage getting applause, right? They don’t often share in it. And it is hard for the spouse to hear the criticism and to put up with the travel schedule and to have to be at home taking care of the kids. And where is the politician? Out on the road.”

Somebody please go after hm with a pile of laundry and shove it up his … nose, okay?

Hey, at least he said “spouse” and not little lady.  That’s definitely an improvement.

Anybody check recently how far ahead President Obama is in Ohio?  Well, add two points to that for the ta-ta vote.

Thanks to Stephen for the heads up.

Friday Toons

September 14, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Ma! Ma! Stop Him! He’s Tryin’ To Do Mah Hair!

September 14, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Beaumont – the gateway to East Texas and big haired wimmen.

Beaumont big hair

So, it was odd when after more than a decade, the Adult Cosmetology class offered through Beaumont Independent School District’s Taylor Career and Technology Center fired the teacher and  is closing.

The reason, you ask?

Principal Thomas Amons would rather close the program than admit a man Amons thought was gay after a brief encounter with the prospective student on the first day of class Sept 10.

The teacher, Ms. Clark, says she saw this coming —

“Earlier this year, I learned he had a problem with gay guys while we were at the hair show in April.” Clark said at the hair show, Amons told her that he never wanted to see “flamboyantly gay guys” in the BISD program like the men enrolled at other programs competing in the event.

So, when 22 year old Kwmane Gray attempted to enter the program, Principal Amons, a deacon at Antioch Missionary Baptist Church where they apparently teach laying on of the gay, decided that he smelled – yikes! – gay and ordered Teacher Clark to remove Kwmane from the program.   She refused.

Principal Amons, who has not read a newspaper or watched Will and Grace in twenty years, closed the program down that very day.

Everybody is throwing a walled eyed snot nosed hissy fit, including fellow students, Kwmane’s mother, and every woman in Beaumont who is tired of bad hairdressers.

Three cheers to Teacher Clark, who is herself a pastor of a Groves church and owner of a salon in Beaumont.  She said that she is heartbroken at the thought of students not being able to utilize the much-needed program any longer, but that she had “to stand up for what’s right.”

Now here’s the question I have.  Are you telling me that Beaumont has had a cosmetology program for a decade and this is the first gay student they’ve ever had?

Well, that explains all that horrible hair in east Texas, now doesn’t it?

Thanks to Texas Ellen for the heads up.