As I may have told you a hundred times before, I am a delegate to the Democratic National Convention.

And I am excited.

And even more excited.  I’m excited with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

First, The Big Dog is going to be there and I love to hear him speak.

And now, I will get to cast a vote to put marriage equality in the Democratic Platform.  It’s historic and I will cast a vote in favor of love and equality for all God’s children.

Did I mention that I’m excited?

Joe Walsh.  Illinois.  Crazy hollering dude who doesn’t pay his child support.

Well, it now appears that stealing bills from Democrats is his new hobby.

Rep. Tim Bishop thinks Rep. Joe Walsh’s bill to provide renovation grants for Veterans of Foreign Wars posts is a really good piece of legislation.

Primarily because he wrote it.

In 2010, Bishop, a Democrat from New York, introduced the Renovate and Enhance Veterans’ Meeting Halls and Posts Act with a bipartisan group of co-sponsors. Then in May of this year, Walsh, a Republican from Illinois, unveiled a practically verbatim version of the bill on his own without consulting Bishop or asking him to be a co-sponsor.

Now, prepare for the cringe factor:  this is same Joe Walsh who whined that his opponent, Tammy Duckworth, spent too much time talking about her years in the military.  Duckworth, of course, is a war hero –  so any time she talks about it is too much time in Walsh’s mind.

So, Walsh needed something – a little gift, let’s say  – for veterans.  So, he stole a bill.

Joe the Jerk is his mafia name, you know.

I will be so glad when he loses this race and gets his own show on Fox.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

He’s in Israel and everybody is holding their breath.

Remember how he was for government health care in Massachusetts and then he was against it for the nation?  Well, today’s position is the Stumbling Lotus position …

Presumptive Republican nominee Mitt Romney offered praise for the Israeli health care system today — a medical plan that has been socialized since its founding in 1948.

Romney has explained that he opposes ObamaCare because what worked in Massachusetts may not work for other states. Highlighting the success of the Israeli system — in a country that enjoys one of the highest life expectancy rates in the world — could complicate matters for Romney at home.

Hey, it could have been worse.  He could have ordered bacon.  Or told them that the Wailing Wall he built in Salt Lake City is nice than theirs.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.

Dick Cheney says that John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin for a running mate was “a mistake.”

Well, that makes us even because I think Dick Cheney’s choice of a running mate was a mistake, too.

Y’all, it appears that Texas is going to elect a genuine nut case to be United States Senator from the Formerly Great State of Texas, which, of course, will give us a matching set.

Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz, a teabagger who Sarah Palin is just ga-ga over, is leading his opponent by 10 points in the GOP primary.

I know I’m going to make my Democratic friends mad for saying this, but we’re trying to get Democrats to vote in the run-off between a certifiably crazy guy who gets into run-offs on name ID alone and a guy who is so boring that he could be substituted for Ritalin.   Paul Sadler is a real nice guy and I voted for him.  It’s difficult to tell what he stands for because it’s hard to hear him above the snoring when he speaks.  On the upside, he is the only sane guy who won’t embarrass the hell out of Texas among all four of them.  There a plus to that nowadays.

My hope is that if Sadler wins, we can get him a speech writer, a person in charge of thank you notes, and a glitter enema.

We will be here at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. bringing you up to date results on Tuesday night.  There’s a few other interesting races in Texas and I hope all you foreign correspondents out there will get us the results on those, too.

Come to find out, the oh-la-la business success that Mitt Romney touts in his run for the Presidency is based on his use of shell companies in two offshore tax havens.

Romney gained no personal tax benefit from the legal operations in Bermuda and the Cayman Islands. But aides to the Republican presidential hopeful and former colleagues acknowledged that the tax-friendly jurisdictions helped attract billions of additional investment dollars to Romney’s former company, Bain Capital, and thus boosted profits for Romney and his partners.

So, let me see if I have this straight.  Romney is going to grow our economy by putting it in Bermuda.

Hell, sounds like the best Republican plan I’ve heard so far.