That hunka hunka burnin’ love, Rush Limbaugh must be having a few problems at home with the Ex-Mrs.-Wonderful #5 so he’s taking it out on all women.

On the electric radio …

How many nervous breakdowns?

“When women got the right to vote is when it all went downhill. Because that’s when votes started being cast with emotion and maternal instinct that government ought to reflect”

Moments after he realized what he said, Limbaugh interrupted the caller to claim he was “just joking” and was “frustrated.”

Frustrated?  Frustrated?   No, Rush, you don’t have frustration, but you are a carrier.

Thanks to Norma and Carl for the heads-up.

Contrary to what you’ve read, Texas is not dead last.  We are dead first.

No, no, even worse than last.  Out of 50 states, Texas comes in 51st in the delivery of health care.  Seriously.  Washington DeeCee beat us.  We have to look up to see last place.

I don’t know about the rest of you guys but I would like to personally thank Rick Perry, Greg Abbott, Karl Rove, and the entire cast of the Texas Republican Party for this amazing honor.

We are also proud to announce that the same friendly folks who gave us last place are also going to turn down billions in federal assistance for Medicaid because they would rather you be sick than they be wrong.

“Our office is reviewing the study, but at first glance it appears to be an extremely broad report that goes well beyond the parameters of the state Medicaid program and doesn’t take into account our diverse population,” Catherine Frazier, press secretary for Gov. Rick Perry, said in a statement.

Frazier said Texas will “continue to fight the federal government for more flexibility to address our health care challenges, which is crucial to effectively improving our health care system.”

So what Catherine is saying is that “Damn, this report covers a whole lot of stuff that we don’t like to think about and I forgot to read the section on blacks and Hispanics because, y’all, this report has a freekin’ lot of words and my lips don’t move that fast.  Plus, we are not going to take federal money because we do not want to be like other states.  You know, healthy.  We’d rather be dead last.  Or maybe dead first is what I mean.  Tee hee hee.  I made a funny.”

Thanks to Carl and Kyle for the heads-up.

Those of you old enough to drink remember when Ross Perot ran for President and after he got beat it became very apparent that he was two tacos short of a combination platter.

History repeats itself.  Herman Cain.  Loco is blooming out his ears.

Failed Republican presidential candidate and former pizza CEO Herman Cain is planning to launch his own Internet TV channel called “CainTV” that, oddly, features patriotic dinosaurs and a cartoon version of President Ronald Reagan, among other bizarre attractions.

Sashay on over to Raw Story to watch the video because I can’t get it to post here.

By the way, Cain quotes Ben Franklin saying, “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.”  Ben Franklin never said that, and the word “lunch” didn’t come into use until at least the 1820’s.

However, Herman Cain uses this quote to defend giving guns to lambs.  No, seriously.  Watch the video to the end.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

There was a rodeo in Arkansas.  They made an effigy of President of the United Damn States of America Barack Obama.

Then they let a bull knock it around.

Apparently, many Greenwood, Arkansas rodeo fans’ idea of family entertainment includes violent displays of hate toward President Obama. A crude effigy was produced during the rodeo on Saturday night, and then violently beaten and destroyed in response to an announcer’s call to the audience: “Who wants to rip Obama’s head off?”

They are all going to hell.  Except for the bull.  It isn’t his fault.  I mean, a bull can’t even read or nothin’.  I know, I know.  That does not separate him from the rest of the crowd.

Thanks to Anthony for the heads up.

A herd of folks have sent me links this morning to a so-called “news” story about some white, toothless Alabama preachers holding a conference for whites only and burning a cross or some damn thing.  In Alabama, that is not news.  That’s Tuesday.

Residents in Guin, Alabama became outraged earlier this week after they noticed flyers posted around the town that read, “Annual Pastors Conference All White Christians Invited.” The groups Christian Identity Ministries and the Church of God’s Chosen told WIAT that they just didn’t have the “facilities” to accommodate non-whites.

“We’re seldom ever have been invited to black Muslim events and we never have been invited to NAACP events and we never have been invited to join Jewish synagogues events and stuff,” Christian Identity Ministries Pastor William J. Collier explained.

I read that a couple of times and have come to the conclusion that it’s not Seder dinner or Rosa Parks Day or “Yo, Cracker, We Have Guns, Too Black Panther Day” that they are upset about not getting an invitation to.

It’s the stuff.

Y’all are doing stuff and not inviting this fine fellow, who is touted as a member/preacher at the Church of God’s Chosen.

So, the next time you do some stuff, please make sure this guy gets invited.

He really wants to do some stuff.

And if the stuff included a haircut and a shower, I am certain that the hound dogs up under his porch would appreciate it.

Momma is an 86 year old Baptist (but not THAT kind of Baptist) lady with a bad heart, a pure soul, and lifetime supply of making people mind their manners.  It’s going to be hard to get her through this election if we don’t review the rules.

The only permissible four letter words are hell, damn, and butt, giving you leeway to say “damnhellbutt” if the spirit moves you.  I can get away with sumbitch about once a month but more than that and Momma starts looking for the Lifebuoy soap.  I can say caca del toro only because Momma doesn’t speak Spanish.

You cannot tell Momma to look the other way and then cuss.  Her neck doesn’t work like that.

I really do have a real job that needs tending to from time to time.  Therefore, I don’t answer every email I get.  Momma says that is rude and she wants you to know that I wasn’t raised that way.  She’s right.  However, I can have a website or answer every email.  I pick website, because if I don’t vent a couple times a day, I’ll explode and make a helluva mess.

Also, if you send me a very good link, I might not use it right away.  I sit on some of them for a month before I think of an opinion.  I’m not ignoring you; I’m pondering.  Sometimes I ponder and come up with nada.  It’s happened to me since kindergarten, so instead of feeling bad about myself, I chose to believe there are places in my brain that are artistically empty.

The only reason I write this stuff is to read the comments, so comment, dammit.  For the most part, I ban Republicans.  There’s a good reason this.  Our local GOP has only 1 blogger and he’s anonymous, a boring human being, and living proof that there are more horses patooties than horses.  So, they want to come here and post anonymously.  Screw ‘um.