Storytelling is an art form in Texas.

(Momma, don’t watch.  It has the poop bad word in it.)

Thanks to Diane for the heads up.

I bow to genius.

You should, too.

.

Ron Paul is like your dotty old Uncle Melvin who sits on the front row of the Baptist Church every Sunday and Hallelujahs! every mention of demon rum and then goes home and drinks a bottle of “cough syrup” before he goes to bed.

Ron Paul: Getting high on the cough syrup

Ron Paul gladly takes his social security.  Yep, the same social security he claims is unconstitutional and that I should feel real bad about taking.

You know, I used to say that it’s easy to be an ideologically pure Looneytarian, until, of course, you have to govern.  Apparently, I was wrong.  It’s easy to be an ideologically pure Looneytarian as long as it doesn’t apply to you.

“Just as I use the post office, I use government highways, I use the banks, I use the federal reserve system, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work to remove this in the same way on Social Security,” the Texas congressman said.

Wait, wait.  He uses the government highways?  No, Dude, you gotta walk.  I mean, that’s only right.

However, I do hope that dotty old Uncle Melvin and Ron Paul take over the GOP convention.  Hey, what’s one more greedy hypocrite to that bunch?

Thanks to all of you who gave me the heads-up.

Texas has something amusingly called “tort reform.”  What this really amounts to is that a known defective product or a drunk doctor can maim you but you can’t collect from them by winning a lawsuit because Republican controlled government protects insurance profits over citizen’s bodies.

Reform, my patootie.  It’s buyer beware even though the average citizen has no idea that there are internal memos within say, a tire company, where they know their tires are defective but it’s cheaper to pay the lawsuits for injury and death than it is to fix the defect.  Honest to God, this really is happening.

And Lord forbid you can sue a doctor who cut off your arm instead of your appendix because he was drunk during the surgery.

Republicans got this through the Texas Lege by claiming that we were going to save enough money to buy everybody a pink Cadillac if we just wouldn’t let people sue businesses or the insurance companies that insure doctors.  They claimed there was something called “lawsuit abuse,” even though there were already legitimate and effective remedies for that.

Lawsuit abuse, may patootie.  The goal of tort reform was to protect insurance companies and big business.

And how about those savings the Republicans promises us?

Oh, fiddlesticks, of course that didn’t happen.

A new study found no evidence that health care costs in Texas dipped after a 2003 constitutional amendment limited payouts in medical malpractice lawsuits, despite claims made to voters by some backers of tort reform.

The researchers’ findings come after a report last fall in which the Ralph Nader-founded consumer group Public Citizen said it found Medicare spending in Texas rose much faster than the national average after tort reform.

So, you got screwed twice.  You lost your constitutional right to go to court and it ended up costing you more money.

The next time Republicans say they are going to do something nice for you, by “you”, they mean “insurance companies.”

I just hate Republicans.  God help me, I do.

Is Scott Brown just a #1 jerk or have I lost all sense of reality?

Okay, maybe both.  That’s certainly possible.

Here’s the deal:  Vickie Kennedy, wife of Senator Ted Kennedy, has proposed a debate at the Kennedy Institute between Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren.  Warren accepted immediately.

Brown, however, has some conditions.  First off, he says that the choice of Tom Brokaw as the moderator isn’t right because Brokaw is an “out-of-state cable networks with a reputation for political advocacy.”  Tom Brokaw.  Seriously?  Is there some other Tom Brokaw than the one I know?

Scott Brown: Thinks 1st Amendment is Way Overrated

Second off, and this is the one that fans my fanny, is that he will only debate at the Kennedy Institute if Vickie Kennedy agrees not to endorse in the race now or forever.

Okay, that’s saying, “I’ll come participate in participatory democracy only if you give up your First Amendment rights.”

Fool, what the hell are you saying?  I mean, other than you’re scared poopless to debate Elizabeth Warren?  Hell, why just leave it at that?  Why not demand that Vickie Kennedy has to lock herself in a closet for 6 months?  How about we have to re-name the Kennedy Institute to the “Scott Brown Loves Ronald Reagan Institute” before you’ll come?

Scott Brown:  determined to shut women up one woman at a time, except sometimes he wants a two-fer.

GOP congressfools are sitting around twiddling their thumbs, waiting for Mitt Romney to get a new position on immigration.  This will be … what?… his third or fourth position?

Senate GOP Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday he and most other Republican senators will hold off commenting on the merits of President Obama’s new immigration policy until Mitt Romney makes his position clear in a speech scheduled Thursday to a group of Latino elected officials.

I guess Mitt just figured immigration would never come up in this Presidential campaign.  So, to figure out what he thinks about it, he had to commission a poll, then they had to analyze the results of the poll, and then someone had to write the position paper, and then Rush Limbaugh had to approve it and add suggestions,  and then it had to go for a rewrite, and then just to make sure, they ran another poll just in case everybody had changed their minds by now, and then there’s that whole Rush Limbaugh thing again and that dude is so stoned that it takes him for-ever to read something, and then they had to write a flip flop for next week, and then John Boehner got some orange crap all over the paper so they had to print it again, and then the sound of fingers drumming on a desk became the sound of heads banging against the wall, and then — tada!  Mitt Romney has a position.  For now.  Who the hell knows what his position will be tomorrow?

So, the entire GOP position on immigration is being decided by some guy in Iowa with a land line who got called at dinner time and asked what he thinks about Mexicans by a pollster who just barely speaks English.

And that, y’all, is GOP leadership.

Oh yeah, and I forgot the part where they have to make sure that Sean Hannity can pronounce all the words in the position paper.

Thanks to David for the good link.