Okay, say you’re shopping and you are determined NOT to buy one single damn thing where the Koch brothers make even a stinking .00001 cent off your purchase.

There’s fixing to be an app for that.  Seriously.

Darcy Burner, a Democrat running for Washington’s 1st Congressional District came up with the idea.

“Our democracy has been bought and sold by people like the Kochs,” Burner said, citing the Citizens United ruling that allows tax exempt nonprofits like Americans for Prosperity, founded by David Koch, to donate anonymously in unlimited amounts to candidates and causes. “When I’m out talking to voters, they say they want a way to take action.”

At her recent Netroots Nation keynote address, Burner pitched her plan of action to an audience of progressive bloggers: a smartphone app allowing shoppers to swipe bar codes to check whether the Kochs, or other right-wing supporters, are behind a product on the shelves.

I am so getting that app.  Not one dime to the Koch brothers.

I will be happy to live my life Koch free.

We need you guys to keep on with all that investigating and contempt stuff.  It’s working so damn well.

And, hell, let’s go for impeachment!  The American public just loves when y’all try to impeach a President.

In Texas’ 25th congressional district, Republican  congressional candidate Wes Riddle is campaigning on a platform to impeach President Obama.

What has President  Obama done, you ask?

Riddle, a retired Army officer from Gatesville, wants to impeach Obama for “giving away” seven Arctic Ocean and Bering Sea islands near Siberia to Russia.

(Yes, even though those islands were ceded in 1991 under President George H.W. Bush.)

Well, at least he’s in the right century.

Thanks to Cheryl and Brian C for the heads up.

Yep, East Texas.

It seems that a psychic who goes by the name of “Angel,” and don’t we all, told the police that she had a vision that a couple dozen dismembered bodies were in a field in Liberty County.  Well, I guess it was more than a vision because Jesus was involved.

“I am a reverend,” she said. “I am a prophet and I get my information from Jesus and the angels. I told them that I had 32 angels with me and they were giving me the information and then it went from there.”

And where did it go?

Again I remind you that this is East Texas.  This being the closest thing to an actual police investigation that Liberty County has seen in a spell, it went to a major news conference with the Belo corporation sending helicopters and a couple of truck with antennas that’ll pick up Mars  to the backyard of a house owned by normal people named Joe and Gena.  Since the news media showed up, so did the FBI, DPS, and a particularity curious chapter of the PTA.

Okay, so I made up the PTA part.  So sue me.

An actual photo from the actual scene on a road outside the actual farmhouse.

And after conferring on proper police procedure what with Jesus being involved and all, they decided to dig up the backyard of Joe and Gena, the normal American family.

The digging commenced …

An actual news screen of an actual helicopter shot of the actual farmhouse of Joe and Gena

And they kept digging until the could hear people speaking Chinese on the other end.

Actual news media at the actual scene of the actual digging.

So Joe and Gena ended up a hole the size of a moon crater in their backyard and plenty of people suspecting that they were the Boston Strangler and Lizzy Borden.  I mean, why the hell else would Jesus and the 32 Angels tell Angel the Psychic something like that?

Well, of course, they found nothing in the backyard, except dirt.

Now, I’d like to tell you that this was one of those, “Fool me once, shame you you.  Fool me twice .. you can’t get fooled again” things that George Bush was fond of.

But, it wasn’t.

Come to find out, Angel the Psychic kinda made a habit of calling the police with bad tips.  So, Joe and Gena are suing the whole bunch of them – the police, Angel the psychic, Belo corporation, everybody.

The police say they were just following procedure.

So, lookie here, if you would please call the Liberty County Sheriff’s Office and tell them that you had a vision that the DNA of Jimmy Hoffa can be found in the dust on the tops of my ceiling fans so they better come over here and get it all and analyze it, I’d surely appreciate that.

Not an actual picture of the actual ceiling fan in my actual house.

Thanks to Diane for the heads-up.

Oh hell, let’s just move the whole operation to Louieeanna or Nevadda.

The Boston Globe reports a new PAC aiming to boost Republican congressional challengers in the Bay State had to file an amended Federal Election Commission report earlier this month to correct an egregious error. When the Massachusetts Forward, Inc. — its official mailing address is a P.O. box in Alexandria, Va. — was created in May, the group spelled “Massachusetts” with only one “T” and five “S’s”.

Bosstan Tea Party

Y’all, there is a perfectly good reason for this:  they thought the “S’s” were dollar signs.

Plus, everybody knows it’s spelled Taxsachusetts.

And they want to be in charge of education.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

.

Scott Brown is back drinking again.

Sen. Scott Brown said Thursday that he’s held secret meetings with “kings and queens” and other top leaders during his time in the U.S. Senate. An aide later said Brown misspoke when referring to meetings with kings and queens.

Dude, that’s your poker game in the basement.  Those aren’t like real kings and queens. Seriously,  I’m not jacking with ya.  They’re just cards.

He explained his statement:

“Each and every day that I’ve been a United States senator, I’ve been either discussing issues, meeting on issues, in secret meetings and with kings and queens and prime ministers and business leaders and military leaders, talking, voting, working on issues every single day,” Brown said.

Well hellfire, that’s even scarier.

They let Scott Brown vote?

Crap, I didn’t know that.  That poor man has strolled off into Alice and Wonderland and has not even a clue where he is.  We can’t let him actually vote, y’all.  He’s liable to yell Bingo! in the middle of a congressional vote, grab the sword from the stone, and King Kong his way up to the top of the Capitol building.

When asked about it later, we get this understatement about the  garden party going on in Scott Brown’s head…

“He misspoke when he said kings and queens,” Brown campaign aide Colin Reed said.

Misspoke?  No, you did not say that.  You did not, right?  Honey, sometimes when it comes to explaining someone’s delusional behavior, silence cannot be improved upon.  This, obviously, was one of those times.

Secret meetings with kings and queens.  Holy crap, y’all.

Thanks to mb for the heads up.