Those of you who have been following the saga of Paul and Jan Crouch of the Trinity Broadcasting Network and their Circus Jesus Roadshow, will be interested to know that crazy and crooked just turned nasty.

A granddaughter of Trinity Broadcasting Network founders Jan and Paul Crouch filed a lawsuit Monday alleging that she was plied with alcohol and raped by a TBN employee when she was just 13 — and that her family covered up the incident, rather than report it to authorities, to protect TBN’s reputation.

Good Lord, they’ve turned Catholic!

That there is some dandy hair, ain’t it?

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

But, Dude and Dudettes, I did.

Now we know for sure why Antonin Scalia was hog wallowin’, snake bitin’, goose honkin’ mad about the Court striking down Arizona’s  immigration laws.  He knew, yes he did, that even though he had been bought and paid for on the health care law, he was going to lose again.

Okay, I know I’m playing amateur psychologist but it seems to me that the reason John Roberts broke away from the snarling ultraconservative pack is that he knew the reputation of the Supreme Court was on the line.  He knew that everybody – and I mean everybody! – would know for a fact that Scalia and Thomas  had sold out for thirty pieces of silver.  Roberts is young and needs to be thinking about the reputation of the court.

Now it is time to get Scalia off the court before he bites someone or runs around the room nakkid yelling, “I wanna hoochy koochy with Michelle Bachmann!”

And the absolute best part of all this is watching Michelle Bachmann’s hair on fire and Louie Gohmert start drooling.

Here’s Bachmann prior to the ruling, showing off her ticket to watch the court call her a damn fool.

And Gohmert wants to impeach Elena Kagan.  Not Scalia or Thomas for selling their vote, of course, but Elena Kagan.

GOHMERT: We still have the issue of Justice Kagan. Either she was totally derelict and negligent in her duties as Solicitor General and had absolutely nothing to do with the most important bill to the president, her boss, or she did have something to do with it, she has violated federal law, and as such she needs to be removed from the Supreme Court. […] I think it’s important to look at Justice Kagan for potential impeachment. […]

KEYES: Considering she was the deciding vote in the case, does that leave the ruling illegitimate if she broke federal law?

GOHMERT: Yes it would. It would mean this decision would be illegitimate if she lied in order to get onto the Court.

Oh y’all, I am totally thrilled with The Affordable Health Care Act, aka Obama Cares, being upheld today but I am downright giddy over getting to watch the rightwing blow a gasket.

Okay, so I got very brave and switched over to watch FOX.  Hopefully, you did, too, because they had on former disgraced Attorney General Alberto Gonzales commenting how this is what America gets for voting for a Democrat for President.  Seriously.   Alberto Gonzales.  The damn crook.

Another picture!

And Sandy just sent me another great shot taken right after the Supreme’s decision was announced.

Sorry about being lazy yesterday but Bubba and I had a small dinner party for the Democratic National Convention delegates from Fort Bend County, and as you other pathetic counties know, I had to rent a ballroom.  Seriously, Bubba had to barbeque a cow to feed everyone.  Agreed, it was a small cow, but a whole cow nonetheless.

Gidget Commando sent me this email and since I’m going to the Democratic National Convention with Fenway Fran, I thought we all would enjoy it.

So, while we’re waiting on the Supremes, take it away, Gidget.

Dearest Susan,

I don’t know about Texans, but we Bostonians take our baseball seriously. Eighty-seven years of longing for a championship, only to see victory snatched away over and over again, does that to folks.

Anyway, there’s not a soul in these parts who can’t tell you exactly where they were when the Sox beat St. Louis in 2004 to reverse the Curse of the Bambino. (Me, I was at a little neighborhood bar that no longer exists, around the corner from my suburban apartment, with a bunch of locals who gave me bubbly when we won and a shot of something stiffer when one of the dudes was too chicken to down it. Yours truly, however, did, to the enduring cheers of those gathered. Ah, those were the days.)

Except, as it appears, one former governor of Massachusetts who’s now the presumptive nominee of those danged Republicans. From April, though it’s timeless, IMHO:

Earlier this week Red Sox season-ticket holder Mitt Romney gave a national network interview at Fenway Park. This led someone to bring to my attention that Romney, who was governor at the time, was there at Fenway Park for the historic championship-clinching Game 4 of the 2004 World Series. Or at least, he told an Air Force pilot he was:

When he told me he was Massachusett’s governor, I politely asked him to leave the flight deck, declaring the cockpit off limits to all Red Sox fans. He laughed and made a few cracks my way, regarding the Yanks, and we hit it off pretty well. I asked him if he was at Fenway when the Sox finally won the World Series, and with a huge boyish grin he replied, “Yes I was.”

No, he wasn’t. I could go to a lot of trouble proving to you that Romney was actually in New Hampshire campaigning for George W. Bush that day, but it doesn’t really matter because — as every New Englander has been screaming while reading this post — Game 4 was played at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, Missouri.

The whole thing’s good. He’s as phony as Paris Hilton’s…well, everything.

Love and kisses,

Gidget

Mitt Romney has no idea what he’ll do about immigration, but he promises that he’s thinking real hard and will come up with something by … oh say, early next spring.  This solution stuff is hard.

Mitt Romney has had a lot to say about immigration the past few days, but what he has said adds up to a giant question mark. Rarely has a candidate had as many opportunities to clarify or recalibrate his position on a vital issue, and rarely has a candidate passed up those opportunities as consistently as the former governor.

Well, we do know he’s against the Dream Act because as he said during the debates against Rick Perry, “it makes no sense.”   Children who were brought here by no choice of their own should not be educated or allowed to succeed because “it makes no sense.”

And we’re pretty sure he’s against just shooting everybody with brown skin, but I can’t swear to that.

His idea about “self-deportation” didn’t catch-on as well as he expected, even when he threw in a free ticket to horse dancing as incentive.

I want to be honest here.  Presidential candidates with secret plans scare the crap outta me.  They do.  So, maybe it’s just me who is concerned.

Okay, so it’s not enough to let a Republican in Pennsylvania admit that “voter identification” really means “voter suppression.”

Pennsylvania Democrats are fuming over a comment made by a Republican state representative, who said a controversial voter identification law will help Mitt Romney carry Pennsylvania in November.

After listing off a series of GOP legislative accomplishments involving Second Amendment rights and abortion regulations, Turzai mentioned the new voting law, which requires voters to show a photo ID, as one of those GOP victories.

“Voter ID, which is gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania, done,” he said, drawing applause.

Oh no, that’s not enough.

Now we have Herman Cain and Ken Blackwell saying that taking people off Florida voting rolls is a civil rights issue, but not like you think.

I am assured that this is not parody.  This is their argument.  I hope they sell that stinky stuff to the fluffy old white boys because anybody who ever worked for civil rights knows that’s pure  caca del toro.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

I don’t even know where to start.  I’ll hit the highlights and you guys can pick up the things I miss.

They favor no taxes whatsodamnever, except a national sales tax which hurts the middle class the most.  They want to repeal the 16th amendment and the Paris Hilton tax.  They also want to repeal property taxes and all licensing fees.

We urge the income tax, capital gains tax, estate tax, and all other tax reductions be made permanent. The death tax is immoral and should be abolished forever.

They want to return to the Gold Standard.

They want to privatize social security, so that Bernie Madoff can go back into business.

They oppose education.  I really don’t know any other way to put it.    They oppose multicultural education, critical thinking, and even mentioning evolution and climate change.  They do, however, support beating children in school.

They are not big on marriage either.  They only want something called “Covenant marriage.”  They want to repeal no-fault divorce and don’t even mention the “gay” word around them because it makes them frisky.  “We affirm that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society and contributes to the breakdown of the family unit.”  And this, “We support the definition of marriage as a God-ordained, legal and moral commitment only between a natural man and a natural woman, which is the foundational unit of a healthy society, and we oppose the assault on marriage by judicial activists.”  They spend a whoooole lotta time talking about the gays.

They want to eliminate executive orders, but are apt to change their mind if a tea party candidate is ever elected.

They want Karl Rove to become a tax-exempt church.  And, they want to do weird things in church, tax free.  “We urge amendment of the Internal Revenue Code to allow a religious organization to address issues without fear of losing its tax-exempt status. We call for repeal of requirements that religious organizations send the government any personal information about their contributors.” However, in the next breath, “We support full disclosure of the amounts and sources of any campaign contributions to political candidates, whether contributed by individuals, political action committees, or other entities.”  A page later, “We call for the Republican members of the Texas House of Representatives to convene in caucus after each November general election to determine by secret ballot…”  Make up your damn mind, you fools!

They want to put the Ten Commandments any damn place they want to.

They are fixing to make American English the “official language of Texas.”  Holy cow, nobody here will be able to talk.

They demand that human health care be only between a person and their doctor with no government interference, unless, of course the human happens to be female.  They also oppose the Morning After pill and RU-486.  They also oppose stem cell research.

They want to beat up women who try to enter an abortion clinic, “We urge repeal of the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Law.”

Oh hell, I’m only half way through.

Again, they want to beat the hell out of their kids, “We support eliminating bureaucratic prohibitions on corporal discipline and home schooling in foster homes.”  They also want their kids to get sick and give it to your kid, “All adult citizens should have the legal right to conscientiously choose which vaccines are administered to themselves or their minor children without penalty for refusing a vaccine.”

So far, all I’ve figured out is that they want to beat up women and children, buy heavy artillery, not pay their taxes, and get to shove Jesus Christ down your throat.

Cripes.  I have to stop for a while.