In my mind, I’m already there.

Thanks to MB for the heads-up.

Mitt Romney is going to be in Texas this weekend at the Republican state convention.

He’s here to pass the collection plate while avoiding any prayer meetings.

Romney is not expected to be seen with the state’s most famous politician, former President George W. Bush, who now lives in Dallas and is building his presidential library at Southern Methodist University.

Also not appearing with Romney: Governor Perry. After dropping out of the race in January, Perry backed Romney-rival Newt Gingrich for a time, before ultimately supporting Romney when the latter clinched the nomination. Perry will be in San Antonio when Romney campaigns in Fort Worth, and in Fort Worth when Romney raises money in San Antonio.

Boy Howdy, in square dancing that’s called the Double Around Aleman Left And Snub Your Partner move.  It ain’t easy.  Texas is a big state, but holding three nincompoops at once is still difficult.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

From Houston.

A Houston mother is shocked at what she claims is a profanity-spewing doll.

Apparently, there’s three dolls that interact with each other.  It’s what you get your kids if they have no friends, no imagination, and mentally unbalanced mother.  The dolls are supposed to coo, babble, and talk with each other.

But [Zoe] Pickens says one of them, the one dressed in pink, doesn’t play nice.

“She is a potty mouth,” said Pickens. “She actually says the ‘B’ word. I just never paid attention to what the dolls say. They say mama and dada, and this particular day　she said you crazy b*tch.”

She must have gotten the Republican Party edition.

I suspect it probably wouldn’t be considered a successful Louisianan State Republican convention if there wasn’t a fight and couple nakkid ladies and a gator wrestlin’ or two.

So, I guess the convention in Louisiana this year was only semi-successful because as far as we’re heard, the nakkid ladies didn’t show up.

Several supporters of Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) sustained injuries while being arrested during the Louisiana Republican Party’s state convention over the weekend, in a conflict that engulfed the meeting after Paul’s supporters overwhelmed other delegates and voted in new leadership, only to be ignored.

So, here’s the deal.  Rick Santorum won the Louisiana primary, Mitt Romney was next and Ron Paul creeped in (pun intended) at fourth.

However, Paul’s supporters don’t know the meaning of the words, “You lost,” and the meaning of a whole lot of other words, too.  But, by gawd, they showed up double down strong at the Republican State Convention, declaring themselves the victors and picking up a giant majority of the votes for Paul.  Louisiana has a double-tier system of picking delegates, just like Texas does.

So, a hoedown began and some old dude got his hip replacement busted and Lord have mercy, the fightin’ and spittin’ are all over You Tube.

Now, to me, it looked like your average Louisiana wedding, except there was less camo.  The scary part is that you know all those old fat white men were one good boo! away from a heart attack.  Add to that the fact that they are surely all armed. I mean, it could have been so much more fun.

Just think, if Mitt Romney himself had been there, he would have switched sides a couple of times and ended up fighting himself.

Thanks to Carol for the heads-up.

They used to call it The Republican War on Women.  It shall now be referred to as The Republican Goofy on Women.

Mitt Romney’s senior campaign adviser, Eric Fehrnstrom, on Sunday said that social issues important to women, like contraception coverage and abortion rights, were “shiny objects” that were being used to distract voters.

Oh, you know, that is so true.  We women are so willing to trade our constitutional rights for one of those $100 pure genuine faux cubic zirconia 10K semi-gold plated rings in a special velvety presentation box.  Oh.  Oh.  Oh. I want one of those, Darlin’.

Ain’t it funny how a Democratic woman’s right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is just a shiny object to Republican men?

Come on over here, little Romney adviser, and you can learn about another shiny thing, when you kiss my big blue shiny butt.

Thanks to Deb, Craig, and several others for making my Monday morning a tad shinier.

Did you know that John McCain’s opposition research on Mitt Romney is online?

Neither did I.

Thankfully, Elise did.  It’s 200 pages with some very interesting stuff in there.

Thanks to Elise for the heads-up.