You remember that guy Bob Perry – no relation to Rick Perry except for the sleaze – who financed the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth?

Bob Perry: Flushing Money

Now he and  his Swiftboat Veterans for Truth buddies – none of whom served on swiftboats – are financing a Karl Rove very creepy group called American Crossroads.

A trio of wealthy Texans have donated more than half of the money the pro-Republican super-PAC American Crossroads has received, according to a new study by the Center for Public Integrity.

Bob Perry, Harold Simmons and Robert Rowling have combined to donated $30.5 million to the group, more than half of the $56 million the total the group has raised since its creation.

Okay, according to my jeweled pocket calculator, that’s 10 million dollars each.  Now I realize that $10 million doesn’t go as far as it used to but using that same calculators, that’s 300 Texas teachers.  You know, the state where we’re laying off teachers because we can’t afford them.

Now you would think that a fine Christian man like Bob Perry would rather leave a legacy of well educated Texas children than adding $10 million worth of cheeseburgers to Karl Rove’s rear end.  Maybe he likes Karl’s rolly rear, I dunno.  Not for me to say.  I’m just saying that a man’s gotta have his priorities and Bob Perry has chosen his.  He and Karl want to elect people who will cut even more from Texas education.

So, when you see a despicable ad from American Crossroads, think Karl Rove’s rear end instead of Texas schoolchildren.

Thanks to Bob for the heads-up.

Remember back when the Center for Public Integrity gave a few states an F grade in transparency, accountability and anti-corruption efforts?

Al Jaeger has a reason for that:

“Essentially, we don’t have corruption in North Dakota at all,” North Dakota Secretary of State Al Jaeger, told POLITICO. “We have no history of that.”

You ask if Jaeger is a Republican?  Uh, duh.  Does Howdy Doody have wooden toes?

They also have no sin in North Dakota.  Or lightening or thunder.

He lives in England, but I think he got there via Texas politics.  His name is Ed Jacobs and he has a back-story that beats Sarah Palin seeing Russia from her porch.

He says that he was adopted as a baby by a 9ft tall, green alien which explained that she was his ‘real, more important’ mother. Later, when he was 11, she took him on board her spacecraft and a deal was struck about contact between the two worlds.

In Texas, we just refer to that whole spacecraft thing as the Texas Lege and we try to make the Republicans in the Lege have contact with the real world.

Shoot, Darlin’, if I thought I could make Texas Republican Rep Debbie Riddle have contact with the real world, I’d build the damn spacecraft myownself and let Lucille paint herself green.  We’d visit Debbie Riddle and do that woman a world of good.

Thanks to Tina for the heads-up.

I don’t know this for a fact, but I think Karl Rove takes it personally that the entire world blames him for George Bush because, well, face it, he is to blame for that.

So, he’s attempting to train little demons in pajamas to spend day and night on the internet machine in their parent’s basement attempting to drive all of us crazy in public forums.  Seriously, he’s training them to be jerks.  Which, for most young conservatives, only takes one short lesson.

It starts off like this:

TACTICS FOR EFFECTIVE CONSERVATIVE BLOGGING By Karl Rove

Engage Demand an elaborate, time-consuming comparison / analysis between your position and theirs. Entangle Insist that the Liberal put their posts in their own words. That will consume the most time and effort for the Liberal poster

They will be unable to spread numerous points on numerous blogs if you have them occupied. Allowing a Liberal to post a web link is too quick and efficient for them. Tie them up. We are going for delay of game here. Demoralize Dismiss their narrative as rubbish immediately.

Do not even read it. Once the Liberal goes through the trouble to research, gather, collate, compose and write their narrative your job is to discredit it. Make it obvious you tossed their labor-intensive narrative aside like garbage. This will have the effect of demoralizing the Liberal poster.

Oh yeah, and it gets worse.

And we wonder why we end up with Fox News “reporters”?

One of my personal favorites —

If you find yourself in a debate with a Liberal where you are losing a fact-based argument then call them a name to derail their diatribe. Remember your goal is to prevent a meaningful exchange of views and ideas which may portray Liberalism in a positive light.

And lastly —

If you know a wealthy man with a double digit IQ who will follow orders, lie, and steal, buy him a Supreme Court and make him President.

Okay, so I just made up that last one, but you know it’s true.

Thanks to Iris for the heads-up.

Republicans are just so danged entertaining to watch.

They are a political philosophy thought up to justify greed.  And they are becoming experts at scamming people out of their vote.  And, (you’re gonna love this) each others money.

Meet the Boys at CAPE PAC.  CAPE PAC  stands for Coalition of Americans for Political Equality but actually it should be CAME – Coalition of Americans for MONEY Equality.  They have an address and a website.  Their purpose is “restoring conservative values in the politicians elected to represent all citizens of the United States of America.”

They have pictures of politicians all over the place and trick people into thinking that they are donating to a politician when they are really donating to CAPE PAC.

Here’s the deal:  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

But, when you punch the “Contribute Now” button, you donate to CAPE PAC, not the candidate.  So far, it appears that CAPE PAC has done diddle squat.

It is charming, Republicanly deceptive.  Over here at Linkedin, Ole Jeff says his education is “life.”  Yeah, and Republican scam tactics.

They are eating each other.

I like it when that happens.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Tomorrow, both Democrats and Republicans in Texas will be meeting to pick their delegates to the National State Convention.

Democrats will meet with our neighbors, pass resolutions, holler about Republicans, and generally have fun.

Republicans will also meet.  They will pray, hit each other over the head with sticks, and then swear that God told them to let little children die outside of emergency rooms because  their parents didn’t buy insurance.

If you go to your senatorial convention anywhere in Texas, please let me know how it went by posting right here.  And let me know if I’m gonna to see you at the State Convention in June.  I sure hope so!