The Republican Party of Texas is a mess.

Polls show that the majority of them still favor Rick Santorum.  Well, that’s not exactly true – a majority of them owe Noah a dime and favor Attila the Hun and Sarah Palin.

Since the Huns are still refusing to register to vote in Texas until we secede, Rick Santorum is the closest they can come.

Major announcement today – Santorum will headline the Friday night Texas Republican Party convention gala on June 7th in Fort Worth.  The cheapest tickets are $200 each.  Cheapest.  Each.  Tickets to hear a guy in a sweater vest condemn gays.  Two hundred bucks to hear a guy who thinks a woman’s place is barefoot, at home, pumping out babies, and fetching his damn dinner.

So, here’s the deal.  You can buy $200 tickets to sit in the back of the room to see the folks in the front of the room who you are paying more taxes to support.  Cool, huh?

Breaking News. Good news. Texas cannot exclude Planned Parenthood from the Women’s Health Program. It’s un-freekin-constitutional.

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — A federal judge on Monday stopped Texas from preventing Planned Parenthood from getting state funds through the Women’s Health Program.

U.S. District Judge Lee Yeakel in Austin ruled there is sufficient evidence that a law banning Planned Parenthood from the program is unconstitutional. He imposed an injunction against enforcing it until he can hear full arguments.

Judge Yeakel is a University of Texas grad and was appointed to the federal bench by George W Bush. So, I don’t want to hear any liberal Yankee activist judge chatter.

Yeakel wrote —

The court is particularly influenced by the potential for immediate loss of access to necessary medical services by several thousand Texas women,” Yeakel wrote in his ruling. “The record before the court at this juncture reflects uncertainty as to the continued viability of the Texas Women’s Health Program

Now this is only temporary until there’s a full trial in his court, but it seems to me that he’s pretty much made up his mind.

Did a mention that he’s a Bush appointee? You know, George W Bush.

Damn conservative judges are gonna make Rick Perry have to secede from the union.

Thanks to Kyle and David for the heads up.

The national Democratic Party has used Texas as an ATM machine for longer than I can count.  The state has not gone blue for President since Jimmy Carter.

Check this out —

… for 2008, another presidential election year, Texans gave $15.7 million to Democratic candidates and committees and followed up with $17.9 million for 2010. So far this cycle, donors have given $7.4 million.

For decades, Democratic Party leaders and influentials have stood by and watched this happen, even participating.  Meanwhile, local Democratic parties struggle to stay afloat and even pay rent on headquarters.  And the state party is flat broke.

I, too, open my wallet to folks from foreign states.  However, I match those donations at home in Texas.

I have a suggestion.  We need to ask foreign candidates to leave 10% of what they raise in Texas in Texas.  Leave us a tip.  Help fund a program to get out Hispanic voters and Texas will turn blue.  I promise you that.

Let me give you an example of what we’re facing.  Barack Obama came to Houston and raised $2.7 million in one night.  A week after that, I had to drive to Austin and beg, seriously, beg  for 10 Obama rally signs to use at a fundraiser I was giving locally for Get Out The Vote efforts.  And, to make matters worse, I live in the county that HAS to flip if Democrats are to win the state.  We carried 49% for Obama 4 years ago.

I begged and got 8 rally signs.

The campaign  probably pays 25 cents each for those rally signs, maybe even less, but you’d have thought I asked for the Holy Grail just to get 8 stinkin’ rally signs.  I do not blame President Obama for that.  I blame the damn consultants and money men who are totally unwilling to help local parties.

I made $10,000 on the fundraiser for our local Silver Democrats club and we’ll buy our own damn rally signs from an independent supplier.  But, we are limited by law to spending no more than $1,000 on a national campaign.  So, unless someone gives us Obama materials, we’re screwed.  Right along with other Democrats in Texas.

It pisses me off.

Remember those people who ran around saying that Janet Reno had black helicopters that were going to spew drugs on us to make us all zombies and then put us in re-education camps?

They’re baaaaaack.

Medical examiners in Los Angeles are investigating the possible poisoning death of one of their own officials who may have worked on the case of Andrew Breitbart, the conservative firebrand who died March 1, the same day Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced probable cause for forgery in President Obama’s birth certificate.

Oh, and that’s just the opening paragraph.

The night before Breitbart died, WND senior staff reporter Jerome Corsi arranged for Breitbart to interview Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who the very next day held a news conference to announce there was probable cause to believe President Obama’s birth certificate released on April 27, 2011, was a forgery, as well as Obama’s Selective Service Card.

Then, get this!, a coroner in Los Angeles, who may or may not have worked on Andrew Breitbart’s  case, died from may or may not have been poison.

Then, on the very same day that Joe Arpaio was going to hold a press conference that Obama’s birth certificate was a forgery, Michelle Obama ate tuna fish for lunch, the same thing that Andrew Breitbart had for lunch and she did not die!

Okay, so I made up that last part, but you didn’t know it until I told you, did you?

And these people do not understand why we don’t want them to govern.

John Boehner is as out of touch with reality as a Kardashian on crack blindfolded during plastic surgery.

He’s trying to sell Mitt Romney to the American people.  Get this approach:

“The American people do not want to vote for a loser,” Boehner told CNN’s “State of the Union with Candy Crowley.” “They don’t want to vote for someone who hasn’t been successful. I think Mitt Romney has a chance to show the American people that they, too, can succeed.”

Well, hell, I guess so.  Mitt Romney is successful in the same way that Paris Hilton is successful, and damn, I wouldn’t want either one of them to be President.  Plus,  Paris and Mitt both will get a tax cut in a Romney presidency even though neither of them are job creators.

So then Boehner tried this one —

“I’ve known the governor for for 15 years. He’s a very likable person,” Boehner said.

Well so is Bozo the Clown but he’s not getting my vote either.

The best they can come up with is that he didn’t lose his Daddy’s money and he’s likable?

Y’all I think he wants us to vote for Charlie Sheen.

A big ole hug to Kool Beans and her daughter Em.