I’ve talk about Judge Fred Biery before.  Judge Biery may well be one of the best things Bill Clinton ever did.  In 1994, Clinton appointed Biery a federal judge.

Biery is a graduate of the Texas Lutheran College and Southern Methodist University law school.  He can Bible drill with the best of them.  But, the best thing about Judge Biery is that both Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich do the Christian Seethe Two Step when Biery’s name is mentioned.

Biery thinks that freedom of religion means freedom of everybody’s religion, not just your own. So when an atheist student at a Texas high school did not want to pray like her Superintendent of School and band director  thought she should, the Judge told them to back off.  An agreement was reached that told the district to leave the child alone.

Biery’s famous ruling  took this form of reprimand to the adult Christian zealots wanting this teenager to say their prayer:

Any American can pray, silently or verbally, seven days a week, twenty four hours a day, in private as Jesus taught or in large public events as Mohammed instructed.

After the ruling, the adults did the Christian thing – they bad-mouthed the teen in on television and on Facebook.

Crap. No, seriously, that is bang your head against the wall crapola, pure and simple.

Facebook?  Adults charged with the education of our children disparaged a teenager on Facebook? And television?

Now you tell me who needs to pray.

So, the good Judge Biery wrote another ruling because his first ruling explicitly stated that the “district agreed its employees will not disparage the plaintiffs.”

Biery’s ruling was one of an adult.

Biery, who can enforce the settlement for the next 10 years, ordered the district employees to privately sign a statement apologizing within 10 days and also instructed the plaintiffs to sign a statement saying they accept the apologies.

“The court does not expect the parties to hold hands and sing ‘Kumbaya’ around a campfire beside the Medina River,” Biery wrote. “Nor does the court expect the respondents to engage in a public spectacle of self-flaggellation for communicating words better left unsaid.

Thank you, Bill Clinton, for giving us a Federal Judge who acts like a Christian should.

And who is very funny.  That’s just the bonus.

Y’all, there is not going to a beauty salon here if we all pull our hair out.  Rick Santorum’s whining about the media is snatching us bald.

He was on Morning Joe.  I am not a regular viewer – okay, I never watch it, I admit it – of Morning Joe, but a friend sent me this clip.

Santorum wants to back off saying there ought not to be contraception because it’s ruining American families, but instead of saying, “Damn, what was I thinking?” he whines that the media keeps bringing it up.  No shoot, Sherlock.  You say something completely nuts and people want to know if that’s your story and you’re sticking to it.

But the line that made me go for jerking my curls was this one, “Washington elites who think they can run our lives better than ourselves.”

Okay, so it’s bad grammar.  But, beyond that it’s crazy.

Replace the word Washington with Christian and you get … ta da! the truth.  At least the folks in Washington don’t think they are the only ones going to heaven.  At least they don’t want to get into your bedroom and tell you the approved times to have hoochy.  You wanna talk about elites who want to tell everybody how they ought to run their lives?  Then you need to talk about the Super DeLux Brand Christians that call Rick Santorum their leader.

I am plenty tired of white Christians whining about how they aren’t allowed in the public arena.  I am a white Christian and I can pray whenever and however I want.  I can participate in government.  I can have a Christmas tree.  I can rejoice, praise, have faith and love my neighbor all day long.  I just can’t do it while standing on your toes.  And it’s not because government told me not to.  It’s because Sweet Jesus told me not to.

Don’t make me tell the story of Daniel and the Lion’s Den again.  If Rick Santorum does not think people are treating him fairly, then he needs to go home and pray about it, not make the rest of us miserable with his silly whining.

Well, there’s a new study out and Texas earned some bragging rights.

We usually send a Thank You! note to Mississippi for hogging last place in everything, keeping us out of the lowest pits of hell, but this time we’ve risen enough to only feel Satan’s breath on our tails.

We got a D plus when it comes to public integrity in State Government, a spot we share with Alaska, Arkansas, Arizona, Montana and West Virginia.

This time we can thank Georgia for being in last place.

Thank you, Georgia, for making Texas not suck so much.

Thanks to Rex from Georgia for the heads-up and the bragging rights!

Oh y’all, I am deeply surprise that there wasn’t gun play.

Police and organizers shut down proceedings at one of Missouri’s largest caucuses today, as Ron Paul supporters feuded with local GOP leaders.

“It’s like the Hatfields and the McCoys around here,” St. Charles County’s former GOP chairman told ABC News, after police arrived on-scene with a helicopter and removed Paul backers.

Honey, Ron Paul’s congressional district starts about 25 miles from where I’m sitting and those rabid Ron Paul people are meaner than ten acres of snakes.  They will cut you.

Juanita Jean and her largely useless crystal ball predict that the Ron Paul and Rick Santorum supporters will go all the way to the Republican national convention with a chip on their shoulders so big that a picture of it would weigh 5 pounds.

They are going to cause more trouble than a hurricane with two eyes.  I can’t wait.  I’ve got the last week of August marked out on my calendar because, dammit, I love rowdy hoopla and these folks are in position to guarantee it.

We have a Republican guy running for United States Senate who is purposely insane.  I know that’s a hard concept, but here’s the deal:  he acts crazy on purpose because that’s what gets elected in Texas.

I’ve heard that the tea party kicked him out for being too rightwing extreme, but that’s only a rumor.  Personally, I think even General Francisco Franco finds Ted Cruz to be a little crazy rightwing.

On Cruz’s website, he scares the beejeebers out of the rightwingers by telling them about Agenda 21, with George Soros and the United Nations coming to take their land!

Agenda 21 attempts to abolish “unsustainable” environments, including golf courses, grazing pastures, and paved roads. It hopes to leave mother earth’s surface unscratched by mankind. . . . Agenda 21 subverts liberty, our property rights, and our sovereignty.

Holy sandtrap!  That even scares me!

Truth be known, Agenda 21 is a twenty year old non binding resolution signed by 178 nations and even by us during the Bush administration.  I have no idea what George Soros has to do with it except that by all accounts he was alive when it was signed.

Just wait until Cruz hears about Agenda 22, written by Jane Fonda, Janet Reno and Sonia Sotomayor and enforced by Fidel Castro to require all Republican candidates to have their winkies measured in public and if their IQs aren’t higher than the inches, they cannot run for Senate.

Thanks to Stephen, Ralph, Deb, and David for the heads-up!

The San Diego Tea Party Spokesman Michael Kobulincky was arrested yesterday for  abduction and sexual assault on a 56-year-old woman.

Kobulincky was identified as the suspect by surveillance cameras.

His defense will be that he was merely attempting to perform a transvaginal sonogram.

Girlfriends, listen up.  They hate women.  They hate us.

Pass it on.

Old Mayfly sent me this quote  from James Wolcott, an editor at Vanity Fair:

“…it’s difficult to imagine what else Republicans can do to drive women away in 2012, unless they decide to bring back witch-hanging. And I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

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