Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, former cheerleader and teevee news personality who married money, is resigning from the United States Senate this year.

You folks from foreign states might not know that she took on Rick Perry in the Governor’s race last election and he whipped her so bad that she’s still limping.

Kay has never been a friend of women’s heath care and she even voted with her GOP overlords to defund Planned Parenthood.

But, like Paul on the road to Damascus, she’s had a vision:  she finally realized that she’s a woman.

So, on MSNBC this morning, she took on Governor Perry one more time and announced:

We cannot afford to lose the Medicaid funding for low income women to have health care services. We cannot. We keep turning back federal funds that every state gets and then try to find money in our budget, which is already being cut in key areas like education. I do think that the governor needs to sit down with the federal government and work it out so we can have our share — our fair share not more — of money for Medicaid to help low-income women have their health care services.

So Kay-Come-Lately has finally arrived at the party.

I wonder what took her so long?  Could it be that Republican women are finally – God help us all – finally seeing the disdain that Republican men feel that hooter toters deserve?

It’s no help for her to come to our aid after she decides to leave office.  Personally, I think she just wanted to slap Rick one more time.

Thanks to a whole mess of people who gave me a heads-up about this.

New Yorkers have all the fun.

New York commuters arriving at Grand Central Station will soon be greeted by a monstrous sight: a 48-foot-long, 2,500-pound titanoboa snake.

The good news: It’s not alive. Anymore. But the full-scale replica of the reptile — which will make its first appearance at the commuter hub on March 22 — is intended, as Smithsonian spokesperson Randall Kremer happily admitted, to “scare the daylights out of people” — actually has a higher calling: to “communicate science to a lot of people.”

I dunno about science but it sure will communicate all the attributes of Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich:  It’s fossilized, cold-blooded, and predatory.

Thanks to Sam for the heads-up.

I dunno.

I just seems that when you see a Republican standing up shouting about the evils of something, odds are pretty darn good that they’re doing whatever it is they are against.

I am convinced that Rick Santorum has the kinkiest sex thoughts on the planet.

I suspect that Newt Gingrich has a spending problem – secretly ordering things off the Home Shopping Network until he’s on Hoarders and totally broke.

I think Ron Paul sneaks out at night to admire the socialist welfare shiny red fire trucks down at the station house.

I would bet that somewhere, deep inside, Mitt Romney has a strongly held conviction.

And the guy who drafted the science platform for the 1988 Republican convention is sitting in a jail Argentina for smuggling cocaine.  See, I’m right.

But, it’s only fair to mention that in 1988, the Republicans nominated Dan Quayle and let Pat Robertson speak at the convention, which was pretty much the end of science for them and I could see where a guy would turn to drugs after that.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

Up in Dallas there’s been some hoopla over that whole “love thy neighbor” thing at Daystar Christian Television.

It seems that everybody got lawyers and sued each other over a little good ole Christian hanky-panky.

The accusations and counter-accusations started in 2010, after Daystar co-founders Joni and Marcus Lamb took to their own broadcast to admit that he had an affair with a former employee. At the time, they said their marriage had been restored but that they faced an extortion attempt by other former employees.

Eventually, three women came forward. One accused the Lambs of forcing her to cover up information about the affair. The second accused Joni Lamb’s father, who worked for Daystar, of sexually inappropriate behavior. The third claimed harassment.

So the women all sued Daystar and the Lambs (Personally, I think that if God had a real sense of humor, their name would have been Sheep, for a variety of reasons) and then the Lambs counter-sued, and every damn lawyer in the three county area bought a new bass boat.

Well, now it’s all settled.  The legal part, that is.  The founders slippery zipper may be hot enough to melt for all I know.  Those things usually don’t settle down all that easy.

The story is at the Dallas Morning News, where they came up with the silly idea that they should charge to let you see their website.  I got the story from a subscriber because I ain’t giving them a dime when I can read every other newspaper in Texas online for free.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

I do.  I love you.

“Homosexuality was well known in the ancient world, well before Christ was born and Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. In all of his teachings about multiple things -– he never said that gay people should be condemned. I personally think it is very fine for gay people to be married in civil ceremonies. I draw the line, maybe arbitrarily, in requiring by law that churches must marry people. I’m a Baptist, and I believe that each congregation is autonomous and can govern its own affairs. So if a local Baptist church wants to accept gay members on an equal basis, which my church does by the way, then that is fine. If a church decides not to, then government laws shouldn’t require them to.” – Jimmy Carter, speaking to the Huffington Post.

Those who want to know what Christians who know Christ’s teachings believe will want to read the whole article, and maybe buy the book.

Oh y’all, Ron Paul says that Secret Service protection is welfare.

“It’s a form of welfare,” the presidential candidate told comedian Jay Leno Tuesday. “You know, you’re having the taxpayers pay to take care of somebody and I’m an ordinary citizen and I would think I should pay for my own protection and it costs, I think, more than $50,000 a day to protect those individuals. It’s a lot of money.”

Okay, so the way I understand this, the police patrol car that drives down my street a couple times a day is welfare.  I’m supposed to go hire Ramon Bigalow and His Trained Killer Dog Pansy to protect me?  Oh maybe get my shotgun out and sit on my porch all day?

And the fire department?  That’s welfare, too?  Hell, if I can’t afford a big hose and a ladder, then I deserve for my house to burn down.

And the FAA is welfare, too, dammit.  If I don’t want airplanes falling on my house, then I need to get a bunker like Ron Paul has.

And oh hell yes the game warden is welfare.  For stinkin’ animals!

Ya know, for a man who has never done one single constructive thing in his entire tenure in the United States Congress, I figure we ought to gift wrap his paycheck every month and call him the King of Damn Welfare.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.