Oh thank you, Lord.

Nancy Pelosi could be venturing into less-than-friendly territory this afternoon, when she visits Texas A&M University for a Presidents Day speech at the George Bush Presidential Library and Museum.

…

A group called Texas Aggie Conservatives has announced plans for a protest outside, beginning at 4:30 p.m. It will include someone in a grim reaper costume — emblematic, the student group says, of Pelosi’s role as a “job killer.”

Yes, I will be there.  You know I will.

One of the protesters, Cary Chesire, was quoted in a news release as saying: “Her economic agenda is largely responsible for the continued high youth unemployment rate. Obamacare, out-of-control deficit spending, increased federal regulations, and heavy taxes are destroying the jobs that students like me will need when we graduate.”

You know what I think?  Just like priests, cardinals, and bishops need to shut the hell up about sex until they clean their own house, Texas Aggies need to shuddup about politics until Rick Perry resigns.  And conservatives standing at the Daddy Bush Liberry really, really need to shuddup about raising taxes.  And if Daddy’s boy shows up, deficit spending if off the table.

That leaves Obamacare.  I wonder if they know that Obamacare allows their parents to keep them on their insurance policies while they’re in college?

Well, now you know why everybody makes fun of Aggies.

Front page in Sunday’s Dallas Morning News:  Click the little one to get the big one.  —

The Dallas Morning News is so self-important that they make you pay to see their entire stories, but I can help you with the jest of it.

After almost six months away from the state to campaign for president, Rick Perry has barely returned to his Capitol office since arriving back in Austin, state records show.

In the first 16 days since he dropped from the race, covering Jan. 19 through Feb. 3, Perry went to his office only three times and stayed no more than three hours each time, according to his state calendar obtained by The Dallas Morning News under the state’s public information law.

The bad news:  Rick Perry is not showing up for work.

The good news:  Rick Perry is not showing up for work.

And when he does show up, it ain’t for, you know, actual work.

The schedules may also indicate that Perry remains vulnerable to criticism that has dogged both his gubernatorial tenure and his presidential campaign: that he doesn’t dive deeply into policy and is more focused on politics. Perry’s political schedules are kept separately, but interviews show that he spent time upon his return to Texas calling financial and political backers to thank them for their support.

Honey, if the devil is ever dieing, we’re gonna use Rick Perry to go fetch the doctor.  We have to lay out markers to see if he’s moving at all.

If you do decide to purchase this article, I do need to warn you that they quote Harold Cook.

“It doesn’t matter what time period you look at, this governor always has something better to do than run the state,” said Harold Cook, a consultant who works closely with Democratic state senators.

And he says that like it’s a bad thing.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

So, I have a question.  Do they keep a fool’s list in Wisconsin?

The training director for the Wisconsin Department of Justice is recovering from an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound to the hand.

DOJ spokeswoman Dana Brueck says Tony Barthuly was cleaning his personal handgun Wednesday night at his Fond du Lac home when it went off.

Now, I don’t mean to make matters worse for Pistol Pete here, but his exact title is, “the director of DOJ’s Training and Standards Bureau.”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure the Governor has copyrighted the foot shooting thing, so Barthuly was fairly limited on what body part he could shoot.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.

Sometimes I worry that if I really – no, honestly really – go nuts, who can I go see about that?

I mean, most psychologists I know are floating around on glossamer wings as it is, so confronted by someone with even the most obvious mental health issues, they get too hot not to cool down.

Case in point:  Dr. Keith Ablow.  I am told that is not a made-up name.  Somebody is even willing to swear to it.

Ablow: Psychiatrist to Fox news

Dr. Ablow works for Fox News.  Okay, right there off the bat, you gotta figure something’s wrong.   I mean, this guy stood there and watched as Glenn Beck melted into a pile of cognitive dissonance right there on your electric teevee screen, and apparently did nothing.

But, then there’s this:  Dr Ablow thinks Newt Gingrich is super delux and on sale right now and would be a great President because … get this … not one, but three women found him worth mating with.  Holy cow!  I never even thought of it that way.  But then again, I’m not certifiably crazy.

Oh no, I am not making this up.  It’s so insane that even Fox News had to put the word “really” in the headline:

Newt Gingrich’s three marriages mean he might make a strong president — really

And what follows is the stuff that mental health hospitals deal with everyday.  Delusions.  Dr Ablow writes with what I sincerely hope is not a sharp object —

I want to be coldly analytical, not moralize, here. I want to tell you what Mr. Gingrich’s behavior could mean for the country, not for the future of his current marriage. So, here’s what one interested in making America stronger can reasonably conclude—psychologically—from Mr. Gingrich’s behavior during his three marriages:

1) Three women have met Mr. Gingrich and been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him.

2) Two of these women felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married.

3 ) One of them felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married for the second time, was not exactly her equal in the looks department and had a wife (Marianne) who wanted to make his life without her as painful as possible.

Conclusion: When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.

Wait a minute!  Wait a minute!  Wait just a damn minute!  Is Dr. Ablow suggesting in any possible way, shape or form that I am anything, and I mean anything, like Callista Gingrich?  That the two of us want any of the same things?  Because if that’s what he’s saying, he’s looking at a swarm of this really mad woman upside his head.

And Dr. Ablow thinks Marianne wanted to make Newt’s “life as painful as possible?”  Where the fool tarnation did that come from?  Newt’s moon base?  Dr. Ablow, Honey Honey Honey, women who do not want to be in a threesome with their husband’s ho are not necessarily being mean.  Sometimes they’re just being realistic – I mean, how does one dress for such things and where do the thank you notes go?

And where does Ablow get the idea that Newt is “not exactly her equal in the looks department.”  That I agree with.  Newt is a whole lot better looking than Callista.

Ablow’s next argument is proof of that glossamer wing thing.  He says that Newt had to deliver “incredibly painful truths” to two wives.  And … it’s coming so take cover … that would be the exact same thing Newt can do to Congress, because he’s had experience at it.  Oh Lord, I could not make that up, but if I could I’d be famous.

This guy’s a psychiatrist.  Johns Hopkins. They let him talk on television.

So Newt would be a great President because he’s been married three times?  I would like to introduce Dr. Ablow to Junior Janochek, Jr., half owner of the Pixie Pins Miniature Bowling franchise, a family entertainment opportunity that just hasn’t taken off as expected but if miniature golf worked, so can this.  Junior, Jr. also sells Amway and Avon products with just slightly overdue expiration dates.  He has the largest velvet Elvis painting collection in Southeast Texas.  People come from Southwest Texas just to see it.  He’s been married 4 times and will be announcing his Presidential intentions as soon as he can get Dr. Ablow to clear some underbrush for his campaign.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

East Texas is just a damn shame.  It’s beautiful country, covered in the Big Thicket, where Archer  Jesse Fullingim, the greatest newspaper man to ever walk Texas soil, said The Holy Ghost lived.

East Texas gave us Bill Moyers, Archer Fullingim, Ralph Yarborough, Wright Pattman, and Charlie Wilson.

But, they have been replaced by this.

I have not seen that many old white people outside of a Tony Orlando and Dawn concert in  Branson, Missouri.

Okay, so first you got how the Republicans feel about homosexuals. They don’t like ‘um none at all.

And next you got how the Republican feel about undocumented workers.  They don’t ‘um them absolutely none at all.

And then you’ve got former Arizona Republican county sheriff and and current congressional candidate Paul Babeu.  I never liked ‘um and always will.

Arizona GOP congressional candidate Paul Babeu acknowledged Saturday he is gay but forcefully denied charges he threatened an ex-lover with deportation after their relationship soured.

“All of the allegations are false except one, I am gay,” Babeu said.

The nationally renown Pinal County Sheriff called a news conference to address the explosive story by The Phoenix New Times that he pressured a man only identified as “Jose” into signing an agreement to conceal their relationship or face deportation.

Jose?  They call him Jose?  What?  Pedro was taken by another gay Republican’s undocumented worker?

Babeu also proclaimed, “”What I do in my personal life and private life is my business.”  Hey Bud, I’ll pay ten dollars cash American money to watch you say that to Bill Clinton’s face.

But my favorite quote came from his answer to the question of whether or not he’s going to drop out of the congressional race.

“We’re not cutting and running.  That’s not who I am,” he said.

I agree with that, Sheriff Babeu.  You’re not the cut and run type.  You’re more the hump and dump type.

I wonder if the Arizona Democratic party is making a call to the Arizona Republican party this morning to see if they can dust off some of their old Barney Franks joke and recycle them.

Thanks to half the population of the Juanitaville for giving me the heads-up on this yesterday when I was busier than granny with twenty snakes and one hoe.  Sometimes breaking news has to lay on the floor for a day or two until I can get around to sweeping it up.