The folks over at InTrade are letting their gamblers make prediction and give odds on who will win the Republican primary and the general election.  You can even buy shares in it.

Take a look.

Obama with 60% in November.  And you can put butter on Newt because he’s toast.

Now, if they’d give me odds on Calista Gingrich’s hair being able to cut diamonds, I’m in.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

Thanks, Guys, for all your help.  You’re the best.

And a big ole High Five and a Oreo Blizzard to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for his hard work and dedication to get this done.

I thank you.

Humility would have the same effect on Newt Gingrich as daylight does on Dracula.  Newt is the only man I know who can strut sitting down.

And now enters Michele Bachmann.  During an interview last week with Bloomberg’s Al Hunt, things got Newtish.

“Let me ask you this,” Hunt said. “Who is the more conservative of these four candidates left?”

Bachmann: “I was. I was the perfect candidate.”

A few moments later, Hunt tried again: “Who’s the second most conservative?”

Bachmann: “America had their chance with the perfect candidate.”

Now, I understand that both Bachmann and Gingrich figure they have a shot at being Veep to counteract Romney’s lack of hair-pulling Jesus hollerin’.

But we need to be careful about this.  If you put Bachmann and Gingrich in a room together, you’d have to file an environmental impact statement on fracking ego.  Those two will suck the innards right out of you.

But they do have great hair.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

John Boehner.  The indoor tanning salon industry.  Match made in … oh crap, I dunno.  And I do not want to think about it.

Seriously.

The Indoor Tanning Industry’s political action committee has contributed $5,000 House Speaker John Boehner’s (R-OH) campaign account and another $5,000 to the National Republican Congressional Campaign’s Boehner for Speaker Committee.

The trade association “actively lobbies against legislation that would place unfair restrictions on salon businesses.” Boehner no doubt earned the group’s gratitude with his staunch opposition to inclusion of tanning salon taxes in the Affordable Care Act.

I have an app that tell me where I am, and an app that tells me what to cook for dinner, and an app that send me a text message when there’s breaking news, and an app that tells me where all the sales are, and an app that lets me talk into my telephone machine and it automatically puts it in writing.

But what I really need is an app that tells me to hurry up and go turn on C-Span because Louie Gohmert is fixing to talk.

Don't touch that hand. You do not know where it's been.

Look, I’ve given up on the jet pack that they promised me back in the 50’s.  All I’m asking for is a Louie Gohmert app.  That’s not rocket science, or even jet pack science.

If we can have a moon base in 8 years, can’t we have a Louie Gohmert app right now?

Gohmert took to the House floor (and I misssssed it) yesterday to roll his eyes and lecture us about the Ninth Circuit’s ruling on Prop 8.

GOHMERT: Nature seemed to like the idea of an egg and a sperm coming together because of pro-creation. Apparently [the judges] thought the sperm had far better use some other way biologically, combining it with something else. But the voters of Iowa came back and said you know what, if you’re not smart enough to figure out actual plumbing…then perhaps we need new judges, and that’s what they did.

Louie, meet State Senator Constance Johnson in Oklahoma.  I do believe she has a bill for you.

Thanks to Mark in Austin for the heads-up.