I am woman, hear me yap like a little puppy dog.

Kansas State Senator Kay O’Connor (R, Dark Ages) has a unique theory about what is wrong with the world.

O’Connor was invited to speak at the Johnson County League of Women Voters luncheon dedicated to “Celebrate the Right to Vote”. O’Connor declined the invitation and added that, “You probably wouldn’t want me there because of what I would have to say.”

No shoot, Sherlock.

We have a society that does tear families apart. I think the 19th amendment, while it’s not an evil in and of itself, is a symptom of something I don’t approve of.

The 19th Amendment is around because men weren’t doing their jobs, and I think that’s sad. I believe the man should be the head of the family. The woman should be the heart of the family.

Now, I do not know anything about the “head” part that Mrs. O’Conner’s husband is failing to provide, but I definitely think she’s a woman who could use some.

Girlfriend, go home, put on an apron and leave this public office stuff up to us girls who can have a head and a heart at the same time.  And a booty train.

Thanks to Elsie for the heads-up.

I think Mitt Romney finally got it right when he called himself “severely conservative.”

Conservatives are truly severe.  Mostly about you.  They make severe cuts to the social safety net while waging severely expensive wars.  They severely want in your bedroom and severely hate your children after they are born. They severely hate the middle class and think education is severely unimportant.

Honey, they are as severe as forty miles of rough road.

He finally got it right.

Don’t miss the liberal woman’s hunka hunka burnin’ love, Paul Krugman this morning saying, “tinfoil hats have become a common, if not mandatory, G.O.P. fashion accessory.”

Newt Gingrich, they say, has a new strategy.

Newt Gingrich says he’s deploying a “Conservative Dream Team” to promote his presidential effort — including two Texans, Gov. Rick Perry and Chuck Norris.

Newt, Honey, I don’t know how to tell you this.  That’s not a dream, that’s a bad acid trip.

Y’all probably remember that Rick Santorum gave a wildeyed crazybutt speech that went like this:

They are taking faith and crushing it. Why? Why? When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights, then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is the government that gives you rights. What’s left are no unalienable rights, what’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the guillotine. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re a long way from that. But if we do and follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are headed down that road.

It was one of those wha……? moments.  French Revolution?  Huh?  What the dickens is that all about?

As a woman of faith and having been raised in the Baptist church (twice on Sunday and once in the middle of the week), I usually catch the right’s code words.  And having been born with a name like DuQuesnay, I was born genetically predisposed and encoded to knowing about the French Revolution.

But, this one went right over my head.

Thankfully, someone else caught it.

Take a lookie right here at Revelation 20:4 (KJV) talking about the end times.

And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years.

Y’all, Rick Santorum just called Barack Obama the beast, the anti-Christ, the devil on earth, the Democrat.

Well, I have a little scripture for Rick’s supporters. Genesis 22:5 (KJV)

Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship.

Don’t roll your eyes at me.  That was no sillier than the guillotine thing.

By the way, the guillotine thing has become part of Rick’s repertoire.  He did it again on Friday.  Onward Christian Soldiers.

Thanks to Scott for the heads-up.

Customer Ralph is one of those guys who has a knack for finding weird and odd things on the internet.  I’m pondering on whether to have a regular Sunday morning weirdfest of places you can visit without the off-chance of catching some terrible disease.

Take, for example, the fact that Callista’s hair has its own Facebook page.

Or that you might have some trouble telling the difference between Dwight Schrute and Newt Gingrich.  I only got 7 out of ten right.

If you have any more exotic places to visit, let us know in the comment section, and bragging rights are freely available for anyone who can beat my score on the Newt/ Dwight thing.

Thanks to Ralph for being perfectly weird.

…  but it was close.

I have been at the State Democratic  Executive Committee meeting in Austin this weekend and it was more fun than recess in heaven.   To show you how cool it was — I was the least cool person there, and I am pretty damn cool.  More on that later.  I mean, the meeting, not how cool I am.  Although that’s up for discussion, too.

Right now I want to talk about President Obama’s “compromise” on contraception for Catholic employees.  I put compromise in quotation marks because I don’t think what he did is properly called compromise.  I think he dead solid perfect outfoxed his opponents and took a major political issue away from them while insuring that women who want contraception get it — for damn free.

In what world is that a loss, for women or for President Obama? The mainstream media is so intimidated about Republicans calling them liberal that they have to make a genius move by President Obama seem like it was a “cave-in.”  It wasn’t.  It was brilliant.  It was government at its finest. It’s how government works when it works well.

Look, we know that the right wing lost the economic war.  Things are on the upswing and we are better off than we were under Bush.  They have lost that argument.  They have also lost the argument that they can keep us safer – President Obama accomplished more against terrorists with a scalpel  than they did with a sledgehammer and billions of dollars.

So they returned to the culture wars, and now he’s outsmarting them on that front, too.

Bless his heart, Rick Santorum (don’t google it, Momma) now has a new approach:  Obama thinks he’s smarter than you.

“He thinks he knows better. He thinks he’s smarter than you. He thinks he’s a privileged person who should be able to rule over all of you.”

Holy cow, we’ve come a long way from John Kennedy’s “the best and the brightest,” haven’t we?

Santorum, of course, was trying to appeal to that person who understood what he was really saying:  Obama is black and a tad uppity for our taste.

I’m a white girl.  I don’t see racism behind every corner, but, dammit, I see it big, bold and bright right here.

Why, in Jesus’ sweet name, would it be bad for the President of the United States of America be smarter than Jim Bob down at the bowling alley?  I thought that was kinda what we were hunting for with all these debates and Meet the Press interviews.  Were we looking for another Bush?  Did I miss something?

President Obama is most certainly smarter than Rick Santorum.  I know he’s smarter than I am and I’m powerfully glad of that because I’d make a mess of things but, hell, I’m smarter than all of Rick Santorum’s audience at CPAC.  Combined.  No, seriously.  I have SAT scores to prove it.

President Obama is smart and that is a good thing. If that’s the worst you guys got on him, you need some better guys.

By the way, this is on another subject, but Bubba was listening to all the contraception talk on teevee and he said there’s three people who should never be allowed to discuss s-e-x:  Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain, and the entire Catholic priesthood.