Michael Li, one smart dude, is live tweeting the Texas redistricting hearing today.  You can go to his site and watch the tweet feed there even if you don’t know how to tweet.  Or follow him on Twitter at @mcpli

Link to the live feed is here.

I know you’ve been waiting, but we’ve been waiting, too.  Big Mike sent us the prize for this contest and it got here today.

Same rules as before.  Your guess the outcome of the Florida Republican primary and you win this glorious, magnificent, plastic, pink, and weatherproof flamingo that’s perfect for fine lawns all across the south.  If you live in the north, what is wrong with you?

It's genuine. This ain't no faux plastic pink flamingo.

It’s not only pink; it has legs, my friends.

You guess the correct order of the finish in the Florida primary and the percentage each candidate gets.  The winner will be determined by:  (1) who has the 4 names in the correct order, and then by (2) who comes closest to the correct percentages of the vote.  In case of a tie, the names will be ceremoniously written on small pieces of scrap paper and put into Thelma’s Mardi Gras hat, where the winning name will be drawn by Miss Verdelia.  We will give this event the dignity and importance it oh so well deserves.

If you are the winner, this pink flamingo will be mailed to you at your home or place of business.  Sorry, but we no longer mail to Crazy Manny’s Ice House because we are hacked at him over his tacky comment about Thelma’s Mardi Gras hat.  So, if you get your mail there, you’re just flat out of luck.

A giant thanks to Big Mike for providing this genuine pink plastic flamingo.

Along comes Jeffrey Scott Berea, who is running for President of the United States of America as a Republican, and is a Texan in the fine tradition of Texas Republicans.  He has even filed his candidacy with the Federal Elections Commission.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Jeffrey is currently residing in the Denton County jail, but he’s perfectly serious about how to make this country great.  He suing Tom Cruise, the Internal Revenue Service, the United States District Court of the Eastern District of Texas, the Justice Department, the United States Attorney, the Southern District of New York,  and the states of Texas and Florida.

Hey, who could blame him?

He’s asking for $2.7 million in lost wages and medical injury.  He must be a Mitt Romney fan.  And, “one copper penny” in punitive damages.  No, wait – a Ron Paul fan.

However, I am betting that he could beat Rick Perry in a debate.

Have a look.  The document will open in pdf format.

I am so sorry that Newt did poorly in the debate last night.  I really want him to win.  And it’s not because I’m a crook.

The good news: Newt Gingrich has reportedly received a former House colleague’s endorsement, something that has not been very common.

The bad news: It’s from Randy “Duke” Cunningham, the former California GOP congressman who is currently serving a 100-month sentence in federal prison on conspiracy, fraud and tax evasion charges.

So the congressvermin stick together, huh?

You can read the whole endorsement letter here, but I’ve already cut the good parts for you:

Newt, a voice out of the past. Down but not out and still fighting. First I do not want anything from you but have been watching the debates. I have 80% of inmates that would vote for you. They might not be able to but their extended families will.

You know, one of the striking things about Newt is that he can’t get the endorsement of his former colleagues because he’s such a whiny nincompoop.  So, this has got to mean a lot to him.

And that’s where the Newtenfreude comes in.

Thanks to Suzy for the heads-up.

Do you want to know what bothers me about this picture?

I am a strong opponent of finger wagging and don’t you ever forget that.  However, you wanna know what hacks me off about this?

It’s not that Governor Jan Brewer shook her finger in the face of the President of the United States of America.  Jan Brewer has multiple mental health issues.  People with mental health issues do things like that.

It’s not that she obviously set up this shot so she could look tough.  Hell, if that’s what it takes to look tough, go for it.  President Obama killed Osama bin Laden and gave the go ahead to rescue hostages so he could look tough, but if this is what it takes for you to look tough, please be our guest, Ms. Wimp.

No, what bother me is the black roots.  Woman, if you are going to commit to being a blonde, commit to being a blonde.  You’re going to meet the President and set-up a photo shoot, for goodness sake, get your roots done!  You’re making all blondes look bad and there’s just no damn excuse for that, even when you have mental health issues.

Shame on you, woman.  Black roots.