As you may have heard by now, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are having a contest of their own tomorrow night to see which one of them that the Iowa voters hate the worst so that unlucky person can have his butt beat like a rented mule by Barack Obama this November.

So here’s the deal.  You rank who you think will be the top 4 candidates and give the percentage of votes you think they will get.

If somebody takes your numbers before you get a chance to post them, that’s tough tamales and what you get for being late.  Go whine to Newt.  Seriously.

The Grand Prize, oh yeah with capital letters, will be this amazing extra large tote bag mailed to your house free of charge, by the proud men and women of the United States Postal Service.

The contest closes tomorrow night at 5:00 p.m. and the winner will be announced when I get all the math done or Don A. steps up to the plate to do it for me.

Jump on this train before it pulls out of the station!

I have decided that Republican brains do not work the same as mine.

Vaneta Becker: She protects your ears, bygawd!

With all the problems facing the world today, Indiana State Senator Vaneta Becker has decided that the most pressing problem is that some people don’t sing the national Anthem properly.

I’m not saying that she’s specifically referring to me, but there is a strong possibility that she is.  I can carry a tune pretty well, but I just can’t unload it worth a damn.  You recall when Rick Perry shot that coyote?  I don’t have to do that.  I just start singing to them and they commit suicide.

So, I was distraught to read that Ms. Becker came up with some rules for singing Jose, Can You See before baseball games.  In order to perform the National Anthem at a school or university you must follow these rules —

Performers would have to sign a contract agreeing to follow the guidelines. Musicians — whether amateur or professional — would be fined $25 if it were deemed they failed to meet the appropriate standards.

…What is and what is not “acceptable,” according to Becker’s bill, would be determined by the State Department of Education, with input from the Commission for Higher Education.

Becker said she would expect the guidelines to require that the national anthem be sung with the usual lyrics to the traditional melody — “the way that we normally have it sung or heard throughout most of our state and our country.”

Apparently Jimi Hendricks has arisen and has gotten a gig singing at the opening of K-Marts in Indianapolis and must be stopped!  Plus, Aretha Franklin is destroying little children’s minds in Evansville.

And, by gawd, $25 will make them straighten up and fly right.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up and thanks to Vaneta Becker for starting this year off right.

I know a lot of you have waited patiently, so you’ll be glad to know that Glen Maxey’s book about Rick Perry is out and you can buy it on paper.

Your favorite hairdresser/unblogger/eyeliner maven wrote the Glen Maxey cover story for the current edition of OutSmart, which is kinda odd considering that I am neither.  You can read about it here.  Or, better yet, click here to see how it looks in real life.

The cover looks adorable and you’ll be happy to know that Glen went out and bought a Brokeback Mountain jacket just for the photoshoot.  After all, if Rick Perry did his anti-gay ad wearing one, the least Glen could do is remind people that Rick Perry likes to dress like a gay cowboy.

You can either buy it from Amazon as an electronic or paper copy, or from Glen directly.  Glen says:  Mail orders: $19.99 + $1.64 tax+ $1 postage = total $22.63 and email me your address to glen@glenmaxey.com  Send checks or cash to Glen Maxey P O Box 2505, Austin 78768. I trust you and you trust me (I’ll mail immediately).

If you tell him that you know Juanita, he’ll even autograph it for you.

Let me assure you that the book is far more entertaining than the interview.  Interviews have to be serious.  It’s the law or something.

Okay, so I admit it’s only 8:00 in the morning and I just got up so no telling if I won the lottery last night or lost 10 pounds in my sleep, but so far this tops everything else that’s happened this year ….

After years of me nagging him about it, Kellybee finally got his own blog.

You’re gonna love it.  I’m gonna link to it.

If you Twitter, you’re gonna want to follow him there, too:  @KellyBWalker.