So, it has been noted that Rick Perry does pretty well in the first hour of the debates and then comes apart like a $3. suitcase at the train station in the second hour of the debate.

My question is this:  is that because the drugs are kicking in or because they are wearing off?

It’s a tough question.

Bless his heart, he made it into the fast lane and then suddenly shifted into reverse.

In this morning’s debate, Rick Santorum explained why it is that we cannot live with a nuclear Iran.

His answer:  “Because they are a theocracy.”

I got kinda confused because he said that Iranian theocracy is different from other theocracies because (1) They believe the afterlife is better than this life.  You know, like streets of gold and eternal life and angels singing and stuff.  (2) And, they believe that martyrdom is the highest calling of God.  You know, like St. Stephen and more saints at the Vatican than you can count, where they venerate martyrdom.

So, the theology in Iran is Catholic Christianity?  Like Rick Santorum’s religion?

I did not know that.

Okay, so you’ve got a guy from Texas who jogs with a gun so he can shoot snakes in the winter and if there’s no snakes, he’s gonna shoot somedamnthing, even a little coyote.

He says he rather be spending his Saturday nights at the firing range than debating.

And he appoints Sheriff Joe Arpaio to head-up his Arizona campaign.

And you’re surprised that he wants to re-invade Eye-Rack?  If that surprises you, you’re not listening to this guy.  He’s Rick Dubya Perry and now that he’s demonstrated that he can remember three things, he’ll invade Iran, too.

His campaign slogan:  War is Cool, Dude!

The Texans are in a play-off game today and that has never happened before so I might be a tad distracted this afternoon.  If it’s a good game, I’ll be a lot distracted.

However, I did not want you to miss a couple of things —

Do NOT, I repeat NOT, let Rick Santorum know about this.

And some yankee gal thinks our Governor jogs “in an ensemble that the Power Rangers rejected as ‘beneath even our dignity’?”  (Please don’t miss the comments afterwards.)

And do you know what is causing the GOP presidential field to look like the time-out chair at a kindergarten class?   Well, according to Fox News it’s a conspiracy between the mainstream media and the blog Politico.  Awww … so it’s a conspiracy that they have goofy candidates with strange ideas and a determination to rob the middle class.  I get it.  It’s the liberals’ fault.  Dude, dammit, you’ve got Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, and Newt Gingrich.  That’s no conspiracy, that’s just real bad luck.  And when Rick Perry gets back into the race because he thinks he can beat the best of what you’ve got, that’s not a conspiracy, that’s just sad.

And, lastly, seen in Fort Bend County at a big box store parking lot on, obviously, a rice farmer’s truck.  Aggies Against Rick Perry.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Thanks to Sam, Tony, Barbara, and Brian for the heads-ups.

A message to Rick Santorum:  Sweet Jesus knows when you’re lying.  Hell, son, even I know when you’re lying on this one.

Okay, so the talk all over Texas is why did Rick Perry change his mind overnight about running for President?  Other than the fact that he wakes up in a new world every day, there’s been speculation that he stayed in to kick Santorum in South Carolina so that Romney could be the nominee and Rick would be Veep because Romney needs a Southerner and a card-carrying, baptized down at the river, footwashing, hallelujah  member of the steeple people on the ticket.

According to Reuters, that ain’t right.

After talking to insiders at the Perry campaign, they broke it down into these factors:

1.  Romney is a damn Mormon, which sounds a whole lot like Muslim, and they wear funny underwear so somebody, by gawd, has to beat him and Newt is …. well, Newt, and Santorum will fade like crepe paper in sunlight.

2.  Crony Capitalism pays well.

A source close to Perry’s campaign said he still could go to his donors in major Texas cities “and raise $2 or $3 million, at least.”

“Texas is not tapped out,” the source said.

Well, sure, most Texans are tapped out, but Perry’s friends owe some pay-to-play money.  And Perry ain’t even sold the state parks and the Alamo to developers yet.  And, hell, even promising to pass legislation to do away with Texas open beach laws is gotta be worth 50 million or so.

3.  The people in South Carolina are redneck hillbillies.  We’re talking snake-handlin’, prayer-curin’, Jesus-lovin’, drunks with a pickup truck and girlfriends with tube tops and big ole hair.  That ain’t me talkin’, y’all – that’s Rick Perry’s campaign talkin’.

Graham told Perry, who has made patriotism a recurring theme on the campaign trail, that the governor could do well in South Carolina in part because of the state’s concentration of socially conservative voters and military personnel.

Look, all this is fine with me.  I am delighted that he’s still in the race because he’s a doofus pooping all over the Republican brand.

Plus, my best guess is that they’ve already made a license plate for him in South Carolina.