Archive for January, 2012

There’s Dumb, There’s Damn Dumb, and Then There’s Take Your Breath Away Dumb

January 11, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You remember James O’Keefe, of pimp fame at ACORN, of breaking into Mary Landrieu’s office fame, of sophomoric attempts to seduce Abbie Boudreau of CNN fame, and of NPR fame where he “deceptively” edited the video.

He’s an employee of Andrew Brietbart.  You know, if I was ever going to start a Creepy Farm, I’d use Andrew Brietbart for breeding stock.

The sexy and seductive James O'Keefe

And if The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. gave a yearly award for the World’s Most Narcissist Punk, we would have retired James O’Keefe’s  jersey by now.

Now he’s violated the law again and will more than likely get his friends arrested.

O’Keefe decided to prove that we need voter ID laws in the United States.  So, he merrily got his friends to use the names of dead people to go vote in the New Hampshire primary.

First, that’s illegal.  His accomplices could be facing both state and federal criminal charges.

But, second, he pretty much proved that we do not need voter ID laws because …. you guessed it …. they got caught.

Someone did, in fact, catch on to the scheme when a man dressed in a suit and tie tried to vote as a dead man known to the poll watcher. The man left before police arrived and said the poll watcher would “soon find out” why he tried to vote under a fake name, the Boston Herald reported Tuesday night.

And the whole scam fell down.  That’s the problem with having an organized effort to vote illegally.  Somebody is gonna squeal when caught.  And they will get caught.

Now, I’ve got to admit that I have some mixed feelings about this.  I have voted Democratic my whole life, and when I die I want to be buried in Duval County, Texas, where I can continue to vote Democratic.  But, if some little punk like O’Keefe comes along and tries to vote me Republican, I’ll be waiting for his skinny little butt in the hereafter.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads-up.

There Is a Real Special Place in Hell For These Guys

January 11, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I think God gets really hacked off if you are not kind to children and old people.  And common sense says that you would not want to mistreat people who are fixing to meet God, simply because they’ll get there before you and might poison the well for your trip.

Bless Rick Perry’s heart.  Dante’s Inferno does not go deep enough for his mortal soul.  There’s a real special place in hell reserved for this behavior.

State leaders awarded $2.1 million in taxpayer funds last year to the parent company of a hospice care firm that, according to allegations made by the Justice Department, misspent millions of Medicare dollars intended for the care of terminally ill patients.

Another arm of the parent company has given more than $600,000 to the Republican Governors Association, which Gov. Rick Perry has chaired twice in the past four years. The association has been one of the biggest donors to Perry’s gubernatorial campaigns.

It’s a little known fact that Pay to Play also carries into the afterlife.  However, there it is called Earn to Burn.

Karma, sweet Karma.

And In One Giant Affirmation That We Are Right About Republicans Being Deceptive …

January 11, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s this.  A Bible-thumping rightwinger is running for Governor of Missouri.

Republican Dave Spence, the plastics guru running for governor, says he “earned a degree in Economics” from the University of Missouri.

That may be true — but it is not entirely accurate.

According to the university, Spence’s degree is not in economics. It is in home economics.

He has a fancy website.  It still says he has a degree in Economics, even though he told the local newspaper, “If you want me to change it, I will.”  And added —

“I was not the greatest student in the world,” Spence said. “I’ll make fun of myself: I was a 60-watt bulb in a 100-watt society.”

Whoa, whoa, hold on a damn minute!  That’s Rick Perry’s campaign slogan!

Thanks to MB for the heads-up.

And In One Giant Affirmation That We Are Right About Republicans Being Criminally Greedy …

January 11, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. proudly presents

Stephen Looney

Republican Party Chairman Facing Felony Charges

The chairman of the Cherokee County Republican Party is facing felony charges stemming from investigations into his work as a public servant.

Stephen Looney turned himself into the Cherokee County Jail Monday on charges of tampering with government records with the intent to defraud or harm, and theft of property greater than $500 but less than $1,500 by a public servant, according to documents from the Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office.

Both are state jail felonies.

Cherokee County is in east Texas.  Of course.

The Chairman of the Republican Party was caught stealing from the government.   Of course.

His name is Stephen Looney.  Of course.

Oh Bless His Heart, Really, Bless His Heart

January 10, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Other did better than he did.

Someone who dropped out did better than he did.

20120110-195736.jpg

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

First Willie, Now Snoop Dogg

January 10, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Yep.  The border agents “smelled a small amount of marijuana” on a tour bus.

Rapper Snoop Dogg was arrested over the weekend after border control agents found what they said was a small amount of marijuana on his tour bus.

The singer and record producer, 40, was stopped at the same Sierra Blanca, Texas, checkpoint Saturday where country singer Willie Nelson was arrested for marijuana possession in 2010, customs officials said.

Bill Brooks, a spokesman for Customs and Border Protection, said agents conducted a routine inspection of the rapper’s tour bus on at the U.S.- Mexico border checkpoint east of El Paso and thought they smelled marijuana.

I think some kind of real special award needs to go to the proud men and women of United States Customs and Border Protection for keeping music safe from the harm of “a small amount” of marijuana.

And another award for their smelling abilities!    I, for one, cannot even imagine the smell of a tour bus, but I would suspect something akin to a twelve year old boy with a goat under each arm and a catfish in his back pocket, returning from gym class.

Holy crap.  If that’s the only illegal thing on Snoop Dogg’s bus, you need to give him an award for cleaning up his act.

Personally, I think they just have a thing for men in pig tails.

I heard from my friend TexJeff that Willie was on his way to bail the Dogg out of jail: “Hold on Dogg I’m comin as soon I find my cars keys. Wait, is that pie?”

Thanks to TexJeff for the heads-up.