No kidding, Folks, the Turkish Ambassador responded to Rick Perry’s assertion that Turkey is run by “Islamic terrorists.”

First, Turkey is parliamentary representative democracy.  Rick Perry cannot pronounce those words but he loves saying Islamic terrorist so that’ll just have to do.  But, the really fun part comes when Turkey tells turkey —

Contrary to statements during the debate, Turkey receives no significant sums of foreign aid dollars from the U.S. Indeed, Turkey is a strong and growing trading partner with the U.S. in general, and with Texas in particular creating thousands of jobs throughout that state.

Rick, Dude, Turkey just punked you.

So, I suspect that if he’s ever President, those turkeys they pardon at Thanksgiving are gonna get shot dead like a coyote.  Damn Islamic terrorist turkeys.

Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.

You know, I think the whole problem is that men name their private parts and women don’t.  Every man I know has a name for his winkie – and, admittedly, most of the time it’s not “winkie” – and like to act as if it’s a body part he has no control over.

You get ideas like this by being raised in a house with only brothers, marrying a man, and then giving birth to three more of them.  They name their private parts.  One of my men named his Stanley, you know, like the power tool.

Female eye rolling is encouraged here.

Maybe if women started naming their private parts, we wouldn’t have to fight crapola like this:

Santorum Staffer Says Women Shouldn’t Be President Because It’s Against God’s Will

Now this staffer claims that he didn’t come up with this idea on his own, you know, like Newt Gingrich claiming that women can’t be in foxholes because they get infections once a month (and by the way, can you even imagine Newt Gingrich in a foxhole?).  No, sireeeee ….. this staffer came up with this idea through “reflections on over 25 years of formal, theological study [based in] classical Christian doctrine.”

Crap.

Now, I ain’t gonna get into a theological discussion with this turkey, because he wouldn’t listen to a woman anyway.  Instead, I’m gonna name my hooters Ruby and Begonia and tell him he ain’t getting anywhere near them.  Ladies, I hope you will do the same.  His name is Jamie Johnson.  Yeah, Johnson.  Like … well, you know.

Thanks to Stephen for the heads up.

So, a herd of Pentecostal  Evangelical Snake-Handling Speaking-in-Tongue Foot-Washing Steeple People met in Texas to decide who they should endorse for President because, as I already told you, Mormon sounds suspiciously like Muslim.

I know for a fact that the louder a man prays at your dinner table, the more you should check his pockets before he leaves to see if he swiped your silver place setting.  I don’t trust ‘um.

Mainly because they don’t trust each other.  The Washington Times, a newspaper owned by the Moonies but read by the semi-literate conservatives, says that the Santorum Catholics  cheated the Gingrich  Catholics.

A leading evangelical and former aide to President George H.W. Bush said he agreed with suspicions voiced by others at the meeting of evangelical and conservative Catholic activists that organizers “manipulated” the gathering and may even have stuffed the ballot to produce an endorsement of Mr. Santorum over former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

Noooo ……

Oh yeah, and they even had voter fraud.

Yet another evangelical political organizer who attended the meeting said he witnessed a possible incident of ballot-box stuffing. In at least one instance, the witness said, a participant was seen writing Mr. Santorum´s name on four separate ballots and putting all four in the box.

I’m tellin’ ya, you cannot trust those people.  And they’ll tell you that, too.  Honey, they are so crooked that they have to screw their socks on in the morning.

Thanks to Angela for the heads-up.

Yep, I heard about it.  Craig Brady acted the fool in front of Republican women.

I should have an audio tape of it by tonight but if you have a video of it, please send it to me and I’ll protect your identity.  The locals need to see it.  I know it scary to take him on because he’ll sic his lawyer on you but I’m hoping one of you will have the courage to send it.

I was out shopping and got a call from a semi-Republican friend of mine who is visiting in another state right now.  This news traveled across at least three state lines within 30 minutes of it happening.  That ain’t bad for a small Texas town.

It appears that one of our Republican candidates for sheriff, who is currently the Chief Deputy at the sheriff’s office, went beeezerk at a candidates debate at the Republican women’s club.  During their closing statements, Chief Craig Brady completely lost it at retired DPS Trooper and all around nice guy R D Frazier, who was sitting in the back of the room minding his own business.  It is fair to say that Trooper Frazier is not a giant fan of Chief Brady but that wasn’t what the debate was about, and the Trooper hadn’t said a word.

Brady’s  behavior has Republican woman all a’ talking about how weird it was to see such a small man throw such a large rude and unstable fit.  Right in the smack-dab middle of some place he was trying to impress people.

Brady, as usual, traveled with his entourage, all wearing Brady tee-shirts to an event where everyone else was dressed nicely.  Frankly, it made Brady look like he had emptied out the entire trailer park.  Then they took up 3 rows and sat on their rumps while the women who had come to the debate to make their decision about who to vote for had to stand.

More to come as I hear ……

Jon Huntsman is out, but Rick Perry says he’s on to Florida no matter what the outcome in South Carolina.

Rumor has it, and I have no proof of this other than Rick Perry’s past behavior, common sense, and my friends who know things, that Rick’s children, buddies and political consultants are making so much money from his Super Pacs that they can’t afford for Rick to quit.  And, let’s face it, after this race, money and perhaps the Tri-state Area Dart Championship  is all they have left.  Hell, they lost dignity and competence 4 states ago.  Honor departed with the first paycheck.  Respect and power?  Left it at Tallulah’s Diner in Edisto Beach.

So, they need to pump that well until it’s spurtin’ dust and bones.

There’s also Rick’s quest to embarrass Texas to damn death.  He’s gonna ride that Jesus bull till the buzzer rings and walk away from this thing thinking he’s a cowboy instead of a rodeo clown.

Because he’s Rick perry, dammit, and he’s dumb.

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, along with Americans for Campaign Reform, Campaign Legal Center, Common Cause, Democracy 21, the League of Women Voters, Public Campaign, Public Citizen, United Republic and U.S. PIRG, are all asking for your help.

The presidential primary season is in full swing, with millions of dollars pouring in to fund deceptive ads designed to mislead voters. Nevertheless, the agency charged with regulating campaign spending – the Federal Election Commission (FEC) – is a dysfunctional mess. Today, a broad coalition of civic organizations led by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) launched a petition drive through the White House’s “We the People” website to force President Obama to get off the sidelines and fix the FEC. The administration has promised an official response to any petition that receives 25,000 signatures within 30 days.

Currently, the three Republicans on the six member commission staunchly refuse to enforce our campaign finance laws. Further, five of the commissioners continue to serve despite expired terms. President Obama could nominate their replacements at any time.

“This is the chance for Americans to send a message to President Obama that fair elections matter,” said CREW Executive Director Melanie Sloan. “For too long, chaos has been allowed to reign at the FEC, allowing unscrupulous candidates and organizations to cheat their way into federal office. It is past time for President Obama to bring ‘change we can believe in to the FEC.’”

Sign the petition here.  You have to get a White House account but it’s painless and if you’re at this website, you should have one anyway.

Pass it around to your friends.  Put it on Facebook and Twitter.  It’s bad enough that we have Citizens United.  We need an Federal Ethics Commission that gives a big bear’s butt about ethics.