Republicans are looking for any way to say they aren’t voting for Romney without saying, “Yikes!  He’s a Mormon!  Which sounds suspiciously like Muslim.”  Their theory is that if Mormons did not want to be mistaken for Muslims, they should have named themselves something else.  You know, like Baptist or Pentecostals.

Their latest strawman is that last night in the GOP debate, Romney bet Rick Perry $10,000 that Rick was wrong about some damn thing.  Who knows what it was.  That’s not important.  I’m sure Rick doesn’t know because every answer he gave was “blah blah blah blah oh look, a frisbee!”

Republicans think that betting $10,000 shows that Romney is out of touch with the average American.  Seriously.  They are saying that.  Like anybody on that stage is in touch with the average American.

Oh hell, give me a break and an American Express Gold Card!  There was not a sumbitch on that stage who could not afford a $10,000 bet.  Every one of them probably had $10,000 in their pocket right then and there except for Ron Paul, who had it in gold in a wheelbarrow in the green room — which he totes around with him just in case the revolution comes and he needs a suit that fits.

One other thing:  Saying that Newt is the smart one on the stage is like saying that Jeb is the smart Bush.  It don’t take much.  “Palestinians are an invented people,” can be translated into candidate-speak as, “Jews have lots of money and I need some.”

That’s entertainment!

I do not ask much of you.  Okay, okay, so I do but here’s something else.

Sen. Bernie Sanders has proposed a constitutional amendment that would overturn the Supreme Court decision in Citizens United vs. FEC.

For Pete’s Sake, what are you doing just sitting there.  Go sign it.  Now.

Thanks to Jimbo for the heads-up.

It’s a damn goat rodeo.

In a move that resembles Bush v. Gore, the  judges on the Supreme Court have thrown a monkey wrench into the entire Texas electoral system. The whole damn thing.  Hell, this is so confusing that we might stop having elections.  We don’t seem to be real good at picking great people anyway, so what the hell do we have to lose?  Hell, at this point, I’m betting the Supremes rule that Antonin Scalia gets to pick all our elected officials with an assist from the Heritage Foundation and Texas’ expert on redistricting, Tom DeLay.  Tom’s tan, rested, and not in prison.

Our filing deadline for public office is December 15th, but The Supremes have decided that they will hear oral arguments against Texas redistricting on  January 9th and decide whenever they get around to it.  So, we can either have our candidates run for an office that they don’t even live in or hold a double primary – one for President, county and statewide offices, the rest – Texas House and Senate and U.S. Congressional – two months later.

Nobody has a clue about how we’re going to pay for this.  Holding primary elections is expensive.  Holding two primary elections is twice as expensive.  And the Texas Secretary of State is already cutting back on the pay for election workers because – all together now – we can’t afford it.

But, the bottom line is that nobody, not even all the damn writ twits at my house, knows what the Supreme Court ruling means, including Harold and Kuff.  And I’ve come to depend on them knowing everything.  Well, except accessorizing – they are both really, really bad at that.

The best background information is here, which basically says that there are no rules to a knife fight.

It’s a damn goat rodeo.

Just when you think Rick Perry cannot embarrass Texas any more than he already has, the boy opens his mouth and doesn’t know the number of people on the Supreme Court – even on the day when all of Texas is waiting for the Supreme Court to rule on redistricting – or Judge Sonya Sotomayor’s name.  There’s You Tubes, y’all, or I wouldn’t believe it myownself.

And he couldn’t remember where we were at war, either.

There’s a whole lot of stuff that you gotta know to be President.  But, apparently you do not need to know crap to be Texas Governor.

Meanwhile, Anita Perry has an answer for all this —  Jesus, of course.

“I pray for him to have strength and wisdom and for the right words to come out of his mouth and to be patient because we’re not on his timetable, we’re on God’s timetable.”

I’m real happy for you, Anita, and Imma let you finish, but Jesus had the best album this year.  No, no, no, Anita, you ain’t blaming this stuff on Jesus, Girl.

But, at least Anita did offer to help Rick.  She explained to the Christian Broadcasting Network —

“The right word might not come out of our mouths,” she said. “But if I could have remembered that word, I would have gone and put it in his mouth at that time.”

Well, I suspect worse things than that have been in Rick Perry’s mouth.

Come home, Rick.  I think Jesus and me are starting to take this personally.

Thanks to Irene, Bananas and Carl for the heads-up.

Okay, I hate to have to do this, but we need a collection of Rick Perry ads to greet the boy when he comes home to Texas.  The meme forms here.

We’re gonna kick it off right here.  MOMMA, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK.  It has bad words in it. But, it’s funny.  And a non-Momma-safe ‘nother one.

I know there are hundreds of these out there so in the comment section, post the link to your favorite and let Momma know whether or not to click the link.  Momma may have a bar of soap and be a Baptist, but she thinks Rick Perry is an idiot.

Rick Perry, a man not content to leave this race with what little dignity and intelligence he has left, and I do mean little, decided to go out wearing a jacket from Brokeback Mountain

and yammering on about how persecuted he is because he is a Super DeLux Brand Christian and therefore not gay because people who love Jesus like he does have never, ever been gay.  So, there ya go.

Reminder:  Rick Perry is positively not gay.  Write that down somewhere because you’ll need it later.

Perry’s campaign team had to disable the “Like and Dislike” buttons on YouTube when their Dislike button got stomped on 250,000 times.

And even his top staff is fighting over the ad.  I don’t think that has anything to do with the Brokeback Mountain jacket but probably what Rick is hiding under it.

If Rick Perry wanted to make history, it’s working.  He may well be the first presidential candidate with negative polls numbers.

But, as a Yellow Dog Democrat, I would like to personally thank Rick for spending all of his rich friends’ money attacking Newt and Mitt in his latest ad.  In the new ad, Rick calls himself “an outsider,” which is real close to being a loner.  In the basement.  With kerosene and rags.  And an eye on the Texas Governor’s mansion.  Oops.