Just when you thought they were reformed and on the right track toward salvation, the Texas Association of Businesses (better known as TAB during the Tom DeLay trials and tribulations), is back in the political fundraising business. Tom DeLay and TAB were tighter than skin on a sausage.

Click here to open a PDF of their statement of organization filed yesterday with the Federal Election Commission.

And some of you may remember that TAB fessed up to a misdemeanor violation of Texas Ethics and paid a $10,000 fine.

The state’s largest business organization pleaded guilty Tuesday to violating campaign finance law, six years after helping elect a slate of Republican lawmakers to the Texas Legislature.

As part of the settlement, the Texas Association of Business pleaded guilty in District Court in Austin to a misdemeanor charge of unlawful direct campaign expenditure and agreed to pay a $10,000 fine.

The agreement involved the last of the criminal charges against the Texas Association of Business stemming from an investigation by Travis County prosecutors that began shortly after the November 2002 elections.

Here we go again with their fancy new website and every intention of defeating Democrats any way possible, legal or illegal.

Heads up!  They’re tan.  They’re rested.  They’re ready to crap all over Texas elections.

And yes, I had lunch with Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen today and we’re working on an ap to track TAB contributions and expenditures.  Would that be cool or what?

Newt Gingrich is so narrow minded that he can see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Mr. Smarty Pants has decided that it’s time to act all arrogant because he’s unilingual.  (I think I just made up that word, but it’s a good one.)  He’s got some odd ideas about the romance languages.

They’ve got a video of a speech he made in 2007 that included this line —

“The American people believe English should be the official language of the government. … We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto,” Gingrich said to cheers from the crowd of more than 100.

The language of the ghetto?

I’m speechless.  In two languages.

Newt, no es como usted dice.

Are you telling me that people don’t have a $500,000 line of credit at Tiffany’s because they speak Spanish?  Did it ever occur to you that if they don’t, it might be because they have good taste or maybe they are not all over conspicuous consumption like a fat boy on a double cheeseburger?

Spanish is the language of love, Newt.  You wouldn’t know about that, huh?  You’ve got three wives, but you can’t learn two languages?  Cripes, Newt.  ¡Qué payaso eres!

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I guess that whole ‘return to our founding fathers’ spiel didn’t work too well so Rick Perry is going to give a speech today announcing his intention to re-write the Constitution.  And if that doesn’t work to put him back on top, he’ll get three monkeys, a clown, and a bearded woman and open a circus.  Come to think of it, he could find that whole crew among his pals also running for the nomination, including the beard thing.

Rick wants to “uproot the three branches of government.”

Perry said his reform proposal will target “lifetime federal judges who arrogantly rewrite our laws from the bench,” as well as the “permanent bureaucracy of the executive branch, which thwarts the will of the American people to advance a big government agenda.” And he pledged to outline “dramatic reforms for a Congress that not only spends too much but is IN Washington too much.”

Oh yeah, we can’t be having judges free from political pressure.  We need more judges who have to run for office so that corporations can buy them.  And if the boy has ideas about Congressional reform that he’s been keeping secret from the massively Republican Texas delegation, shame on him.

He wants to re-write the Constitution and he’s calling someone else “arrogant?”  Hey pot, meet kettle.

And then there’s the fun part —

… all those overpaid czars and bureaucrats haven’t suffered one bit while we’ve been going through one of the worst economies that this country’s ever seen,” he said.

Uh, would this be a bad time to note that the Texas Governor became a millionaire while in public office his entire life and he’s currently suffering in a $10,000 a month taxpayer paid mansion?  Would it be a bad time to note that the Governor approves of the State of Texas paying for a hoard of lobbyists to go to Washington, DeeCee, so he’s kinda creating that problem?

So, you want to replace democracy with crony capitalism?  Like this?

State environmental regulators appointed by Gov. Rick Perry issued a permit in January for a Houston-area industrial waste injection well to a company whose top investors include some of Perry’s close friends and campaign contributors.

The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality approved the permit over the objections of the Texas Railroad Commission and every state and local official representing Montgomery County, and in spite of an administrative law judge’s recommendation to deny the permit because the well might pollute groundwater.

Come on home and reform the government you created, Rick.

Awww, Rick, it’s kinda cute watching you spend money like a madman to get back on top because you have come to believe through governing Texas that there’s nothing you can’t buy.  Hey, Newt’s broke.  Maybe he would be willing to sell the Vice Presidency to you.  He has no ethics, you know, so he’s your kind of guy.

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Okay, so I suspect that I do not have to introduce you guys to Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona.

If I am wrong about that, please accept my apologizes.  Sheriff Joe, please meet New Person.   New Person, please meet the craziest goat this side of talk radio.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio is conducting an investigation.  Of the President of the United States.  Because he doesn’t have a …. say it with me, now …. birth certificate.

But the worst part of it is that the news media is trying to cover up the investigation.  And, they are not paying any attention to the threats that Sheriff Joe is getting.  According to Sheriff Joe, “intimidation comes from drug lords, Obama fans: I’m not sure which are worse.”

Why Is This Man Afraid of Me?

Good Lord, look at us, Sheriff Joe.  Obama fans are a bunch of arugula eating, volvo driving, sandal wearing, sushi fans who buy wine by the bottle, not the box.  What are we doing to intimidate you?  Threatening to make you watch The Road Show?

Dude, get a grip.  I know you are powerfully upset to have your pretty face off camera for even one minute, but maybe you should look into getting a reality show.  You know, “The Amazing Racist” might sell.  You never know.

“Getting death threats is nothing new for me,” Arpaio told WND, referring to his national reputation as a tough enforcer of immigration laws. “But why has the media has decided to black out all news of our Obama investigation? That’s what I don’t understand.

“I’m a controversial guy and usually the media is all over me,” he continued, “but when I decided to investigate Obama, the media has suddenly gone missing in action.

Okay, here’s the deal, Joe.  There’s only so much time on the nightly news for batcrap crazy people.  Orly Taitz and Herman Cain are some stiff competition, Joe.

I’d go with the reality show angle, Joe.  “Dancing with the Dopes”?  Like that?  “The Biggest Boozer?”

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

Thank you Mark in Austin for this treasure.

Go check out the whole series.  Momma and work safe.

Do you know what’s even better that Rick Perry falling in the polls?

Newt Gingrich surging.  Yes!

A new national survey of Republicans indicates that it’s basically all tied up between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich in the race for the GOP presidential nomination, with Gingrich on the rise and businessman Herman Cain falling due to the sexual harassment allegations he’s been facing the past two weeks.

With Rick you get the dumb.  With Cain you get the sexual escapades.  With Newt you get the trifecta: ethics, hypocrisy and enough hoochy-koochy to make Amsterdam  shut down their red light district becasue of a non-compete contract.

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You know what this means, don’t you?  The Daily Newt Is Back!

He’s got loco camped out in his eyeballs!  I am a happy woman.