The Washington Post gave it Three Pinocchios.

You gotta work at it to get three Pinocchios.  You can’t do that by accident.

Senate Republicans, including Rand Paul (Ky.), John McCain (Ariz.) and Rob Portman (Ohio), last week unveiled what they labeled as their alternative to Obama’s plan. Their plan was mostly a mish-mash of previous offered bills, such as that hardy perennial–a balanced budget amendment to the constitution. (Some experts would argue that such a requirement could hurt employment if government spending dropped too quickly.)

During the news conference, and in a news release, Paul claimed the GOP plan would create 5 million jobs

So, we wondered: Where did that figure come from?

Apparently, it was pulled out of John McCain’s ear.  (Oh dear, now I’ve just grossed myself out.  That’s not a visual you want to keep for your happy place.)

It’s certainly ironic that Senate Republicans cite a study that uses the same methodology that calculated successful job growth in the stimulus bill. Republican lawmakers frequently decry the stimulus as a failure, but the CBO found that it added or saved between 1.9 million and 4.9 million jobs in 2010.

So, they are counting on fairy dust, Tinkerbell, Rick Perry’s prayers, Michele Bachmann’s surplus pander, and three bottles of Boone’s Farms wine to get jobs from this sucker.

That said, at least it’s better than their health care bill.  That one puts a first aid kit, a tongue depressor, and a genuine certificate of  best wishes for good health from  the Republican Congress in every home.

It’s a good thing for you people that I’m fluent in weirdo so I can translate for the Teabaggers.

So, there’s this teabagger who has an idea:  to get President Obama to stop “declaring war” on small businesses, small business owners should sign a pledge to stop hiring people.

No, seriously.

Her name is Melissa Brookstone and if somebody has a dipstick handy, we need to check her estrogen level.  I think she’s about a quart low.

Brookstone’s main point is that Obama and the “Democrat-controlled Senate” are a bunch of traitors who have joined up with Occupy Wall Street/a global socialist movement and various unnamed Hollywood celebrities to achieve the redistribution of wealth …

So she’s asking small business people, you know, the JOB CREATORS (yes, I am hollering!), to quit creating jobs just to get even with President Obama.  But, they should still get their tax breaks, you know.

Here’s her tersely worded pledge.

I, an American small business owner, part of the class that produces the vast majority of real, wealth producing jobs in this country, hereby resolve that I will not hire a single person until this war against business and my country is stopped.

I hereby declare that my job creation potential is now ceased.

“I’m on strike!”

Teabagger: (noun) A person willing to let millions of Americans go without jobs in order to take one man’s job.

Little story.  I was at the Pete Olson townhall and some Teabagger woman came up to me sneering about  Obama this and Obama that.

Me:  Excuse me, but that’s President Obama.

Teabagger:  I refuse to call him that until he does something to earn my respect.

Me:  But, ma’am, no matter how hard he tries, he cannot turn himself white for you.

Teabagger:  Huh?

Thanks to Karen for the heads-up.

The Washington Post and the Pew Research Center did a poll asking people to characterize the Republican presidential candidates with one word.  The poll was done among all adults, and then once again among Republicans.

Polls Show He's An A**

Guess which candidate got “idiot” mentioned 15 times and was the only candidate to get any “idiot” responses at all?

Nah, go on and guess.

Yep.  Governor Idiot.

The above link has the interesting pictures and makes note that Perry got no positive responses.  The raw data is here.  Hell, Perry even got two a** responses.

You guys have any thoughts on the debate last night?

Jon Stewart does the best Louie Gohmert impression ever!

If you missed it, go see it.  If you saw it, go see it again.

Republican Congresscreep Vern Buchanan of Florida is an odd guy, even for a Republican.

Vern: Former 1%er

There’s a limit to what a person can give a congressman’s campaign.  So, Vern came up with a little money laundering scheme.  He asked his business partner, Sam Kazran, to “improperly reimburse his employees for contributions they made to Buchanan’s congressional campaigns”.  Sam would give, say,  $2,000 to one of their employees, say Joe Bob, and then Joe Bob would give it to Vern’s campaign.

There’s a word for this type of stuff:  illegal.

So, the Department of Justice has opened an investigation.  Vern has an odd defense:  he’s the victim.  Vern says that the employees they asked to do the illegal deal are extorting him.  He wants an immediate investigation of this heinous blackmail attempt!

Would I kid you?  No, I would not.  Okay, I probably would, but not in this case.

I don’t think Vern has much faith in getting the Feds to care more about blackmailing a crook than actually catching the crook, because this 1%er is liquidating his accessorizes of wealth.  Maybe for legal fees at Patton Boggs, not a cut rate law firm.

Late last year, Vern sold three of his auto dealerships.  Yet, as late as last July, they were talking about him running for statewide office, like maybe senate.

Next, he dumps his penthouse at a loss —

Congressman Vern Buchanan has sold his 4,127-square-foot penthouse condo at the Plaza at Five Points building in downtown Sarasota to Anthony and Kathy Sanzo for $2.167 million, or $268,000 less than he paid five years ago.

Then, there’s the yacht. In August, he sold it at a $2 million loss.

Still, attracting a buyer has been a bit of a challenge it appears. Buchanan’s company initially sought $6.49 million for the yacht, but lowered the asking price to $4.49 million.

Denison now declares the blue and white vessel a “MUST SELL!” in its listings.

I’m not saying that Vern will be putting his Gucci loafers on Ebay, but it wouldn’t hurt to check ever so often because the boy is needing some quick cash.

When he goes over to Occupy Wall Street and tries to sell his cashmere overcoat, I will be a happy woman.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for coffee and grins this morning.

The good news is that people on social security are getting their first raise in three years – 3.6%

The bad news is that their Medicare premium will rise double digits.

Do the math.

And this news comes on the same exact day that Neiman Marcus releases their Christmas Catalog with 9 “Ultimate” gifts.  And here I was, counting on my COLA to buy Bubba a $75,000 yurt.

I dunno, $75,000 for a yurt kinda defeats the purpose of a yurt.  The dancing fountains are kinda cool, but we already have one of those changing color spurt things in our hot tub, which is the redneck version of dancing fountains.  And I paid a helluva lost less than $1.5 million for it.

And for your Christmas shopping convenience, I do not have a Ferrari FF that I can drive 200 miles per hour over to the Target.  That seems such a shame because you never now when you might have a Target emergency.