No, seriously, delusional.

Rick Perry on Sunday sought to reassure GOP primary voters concerned about his wobbly presidential debate performances, saying he would draw sharp distinctions with the Democratic incumbent in televised showdowns next year.

“I’m not worried a bit that I’ll be able to stand on the stage with Barack Obama and draw a very bright line,” Perry said.

Whoa, wait, Rick, imma real happy for you and imma let you finish but Barack Obama has one of the best debates of all time.

(Yes, this is Juanita’s, where 4 year old memes are just now surfacing.)

Rick, Dude, I not think you should be using the word ‘bright’ very often.  You know, it just reminds people that you ain’t.

“I have been a consistent conservative,” Perry said. “I don’t get confused with just telling the truth.”

No, Rick, you don’t get confused.  You stay confused.

He’s dipping in the cough syrup again.  I swear he is.  Can you even imagine the beatin’ he’s gonna get from Anita tonight?

Let’s see if you can smile.  Or identify.

Beware of old people for we have scooters to run you over, oxygen hoses to tie you up, teeth we can take out and bite you on the butt without even leaning over, canes to whack you with, and you haven’t even considered all the possibilities of what we can do walkers and Beach Boy music.  We invented this damn protesting stuff.  We’re back and we’re pissed off again.

Thanks to Emily for the picture.

Okay, help me with this.

Rick Miller, the recently resigned chairman of the Fort Bend County Republican Party and general thug, is trying to stand on the backs of veterans to kick off his campaign for State Representative.

He came up with this deal.  Now, I need you to go look at that in person, but I put a part of it here.

Was this mean to make it look like Texas Ag Commish Todd Staples and Gen. Jerry Boykin are Medal of Honor winners?

Is that the way you read it, or is it just me?

Because Todd Staples was never in the military and Gen. Boykin didn’t win the Medal of Honor.

I think it is disgusting to use veterans to kick off your campaign for public office.  I sure hope Rick Miller doesn’t get him one of them “Mission Accomplished” signs and parachute into this event.  More important, I hope he doesn’t get a bunch of his thug to hit old ladies again.

Anyway, if it’s just me don’t be afraid to say so.  Maybe I’m overreacting.

About half a gillion people sent me this while I was outside today.

These are highlights of Rick Perry’s speech in New Hampshire.  The speech was 25 minutes long and here’s the best parts stitched together.

Janette pretty much summed it up and she emailed me, “as my alter-ego said: Well, bless his heart, this campaignin­g thing just has him worn to a frazzle. Poor lil Rick couldn’t remember if he is at the 700 Club Auditions or Open Mic Nite at the Wazoo Brainless Bagger Comedy Club.”

I thought that was charitable of her.

Now pay to play has brought its cute self to the University of Texas.

In a front page investigative reporting piece, the Austin American Statesman has found some really magical happenings among rich white boys who know each other very well but had no idea they were helping each other out.  Magic like that happens all the time in Texas.

The University of Texas regents took the unprecedented action of investing the University’s money all on their own without any advice from their money management firms — $10 million dollars of it, as a  “unrestricted, unconditional” investment.

Wow! A Real Calendar!

The investment is with a start-up called myedu.com.  My edu.com is nothing new.  It collects public information from several websites and public records and allows students to access it all in one place.  It also has a calculator and a calendar.   You know, things your average college student doesn’t have.  It’s free.

Now, the Austin American Statesman found something interesting about this unprecedented investment –

The governing board of the University of Texas System invested $10 million in a privately held company with close ties to the system’s former chancellor, the chancellor’s son and associates of Gov. Rick Perry.

Hot Damn! A Calculator!

I’ll be a second cousin to monkey’s uncle!  Ain’t that a damn coincidence?

Not only is the former chancellor’s son a founder and senior vice president of the start-up, but the political connection doesn’t stop there.  Honey, this whole deal is more connected than a dorm room power strip  —

The company’s chairman and CEO, Michael Crosno, served on the governor’s statewide re-election finance committee last year.

MyEdu adviser Bob Pearson, who holds a stake in the company, donated to the governor’s re-election campaign and is a former Perry-appointed chairman of an advisory panel that recommends proposals

for state funding through the Emerging Technology Fund.

Margaret Spellings, who was secretary of education under President George W. Bush, is also an adviser to MyEdu.

But none of these people, including the Board of Regents, knew anything about all this and are stompin’ that this is not, I repeat, goldarn not, some sort of insider deal.

Yep, it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck but it’s a porcupine.

It’s also that magical things that happens when you have the right friends.

It also appears that facility and students at UT are not as impressed with myedu.com as the regents are.

Yep, that’s the UT Board of Regents.  And, yes, they are all appointed by Governor Rick Perry.  In case you’re wondering, UT became a majority minority school in 2010.

And we just invested “unrestricted, unconditional” $10 million dollars with something old white guys think college students will like.

You know how Rick Perry believes in state’s rights and how each state should be allowed to make their own rules?

Well, that’s true until it’s rules that Perry doesn’t like.  He was in New Hampshire this week spouting off about his two favorite subjects – gay marriage and abortion.  Now, it seems to me that the more gay marriages you allow, the fewer abortions you get, so Perry ought to love that New Hampshire legalized gay marriage in 2009.  But, noooo …..

And it also seems to me that Planned Parenthood, where they distribute birth control, also would be high on Perry’s list.  But, noooo …..

“Unfortunately this current administration has since provided one million dollars in federal grant money to Planned Parenthood in direct conflict with this state’s policies. And the bottom-line is this: If you want to stop Washington’s many violations of the 10th Amendment … then we must make President Obama a one-term president,” Perry said.

So, Perry will not rest until New Hampshire becomes just like Texas.

NOTE TO NEW HAMPSHIRE:  Dumb down your schools, increase your teen pregnancy rate, make sure half your population has no health insurance, and have the second highest high school drop out rate in the nation.  Rick Perry is coming and I know you want to make him feel at home!

Thanks to Sharon for the heads-up.